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Moose Yoga....
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♥
Gus and Pete were sittin' on the front porch
when a large truck hauling rolls and rolls of sod
went by.
"I'm gonna do dat when I win the lottery,"
said Gus.
"Do what?" asked Pete.
"Send my grass out to be mowed," answered Gus...
when a large truck hauling rolls and rolls of sod
went by.
"I'm gonna do dat when I win the lottery,"
said Gus.
"Do what?" asked Pete.
"Send my grass out to be mowed," answered Gus...
••
A policeman brought four boys before a judge.
"They were causing an awful lot of commotion
at the zoo, your Honor," he said.
"Boys," said the judge sternly, "I never like to
hear reports of juvenile delinquency.
Now I want each of you to tell me your name
and what you were doing wrong."
"My name is George," said the first boy, "and I
threw peanuts into the elephant pen."
"My name is Pete," said the second boy, "and I
threw peanuts into the elephant pen."
"My name is Mike," said the third boy, "and I
threw peanuts into the elephant pen."
"My name is Peanuts," said the fourth boy.
"They were causing an awful lot of commotion
at the zoo, your Honor," he said.
"Boys," said the judge sternly, "I never like to
hear reports of juvenile delinquency.
Now I want each of you to tell me your name
and what you were doing wrong."
"My name is George," said the first boy, "and I
threw peanuts into the elephant pen."
"My name is Pete," said the second boy, "and I
threw peanuts into the elephant pen."
"My name is Mike," said the third boy, "and I
threw peanuts into the elephant pen."
"My name is Peanuts," said the fourth boy.
••
Larry was startled to see the nonchalant way
Jason was taking the fact that his girlfriend was
seen with another man.
“You said you loved her and yet you saw her with
another man and you didn’t knock the guy down?”
“I’m waiting.”
“Waiting for what?” asked Larry
“Waiting to catch her with a smaller feller.”
Jason was taking the fact that his girlfriend was
seen with another man.
“You said you loved her and yet you saw her with
another man and you didn’t knock the guy down?”
“I’m waiting.”
“Waiting for what?” asked Larry
“Waiting to catch her with a smaller feller.”
••
There are 8 million dead people who are still
registered to vote.
As a matter of fact, they're the group that's most
passionate about Obama.
registered to vote.
As a matter of fact, they're the group that's most
passionate about Obama.
••
A man in Ireland was arrested with more than
500 pounds of marijuana.
So I guess there is a little pot at the end of the
rainbow.
500 pounds of marijuana.
So I guess there is a little pot at the end of the
rainbow.
••
China's vice president was in Los Angeles the
other day.
When he got off the plane, he apologized for his
problem with the language.
Apparently, his interpreter doesn't speak Spanish.
other day.
When he got off the plane, he apologized for his
problem with the language.
Apparently, his interpreter doesn't speak Spanish.
The Chinese vice president said the first place he
wanted to go was Hollywood.
He wanted to visit where all his favorite pirated
DVD movies were made.
wanted to go was Hollywood.
He wanted to visit where all his favorite pirated
DVD movies were made.
••
A man limped into a hospital to have his foot
X-rayed, and was asked to wait for the results.
Some time later an orderly appeared and handed
the man a large pill. Just then a mother with a
small child in need of immediate attention
entered.
After the orderly disappeared with the new
patient, the man hobbled over to get a glass of
water, swallow the pill, and sat down to wait.
Some time later the orderly reappeared carrying
a bucket of water.
"Okay," he said, "Just drop the pill in this bucket
and soak your foot for a while."
X-rayed, and was asked to wait for the results.
Some time later an orderly appeared and handed
the man a large pill. Just then a mother with a
small child in need of immediate attention
entered.
After the orderly disappeared with the new
patient, the man hobbled over to get a glass of
water, swallow the pill, and sat down to wait.
Some time later the orderly reappeared carrying
a bucket of water.
"Okay," he said, "Just drop the pill in this bucket
and soak your foot for a while."
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