Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning....
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Stake out??

Say Cheese......

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♥

Gus: Is that beautiful car yours?
Pete: It is and it is not.
Gus: What do you mean?
Pete: When it is for shopping, it is my wife’s.
When it is for a party, it is my son’s.
And when it needs Gas, it is mine.

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For Valentine's day, I agreed......
to watch a movie of her choice with the wife.
She picked Beauty and the Beast.
In the middle of the movie she said "If you were
a beast, I would still love you."
without thinking, I said "If you were a beauty I
would still love you."
I am still in a lot of pain but getting better......

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Rabbi Levy had to spend time in a Catholic
hospital.
He became friends with the Sister who was a
nurse there.
One day, she came into his room and noticed
that the crucifix on the wall was missing.
She asked him good-naturedly, "Rabbi, what
have you done with the crucifix?"
"Oh, sister," chuckled Rabbi Levy, "I just figured
one suffering Jew in this room was enough."

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"Sir," said the timid employee to his boss, "
my wife says I'm to ask you for a raise."
 "Fine," the boss replied.
"I'll ask my wife if I can give you one."

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After a neighbor spotted my father and pregnant
mother getting into his car, he rushed over to
offer his congratulations.
Assuming the man was talking about the car,
Dad answered, "Thanks, but it's not mine.
It's a friend's."

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A man went into the pet shop, "I am playing
Long John Silver in the local amateur dramatic
societies version of Treasure Island and need a
parrot to sit on my shoulder," he said.
"I don't have any parrots at the moment, but you
wouldn't want a real parrot for that.
It would squawk in all the wrong places, poop on
your shoulder and generally be a nuisance.
What you need is a stuffed parrot.
Just as realistic and easily controlled."
"I'm not sure a stuffed parrot would be okay,"
said the customer.
"I do want this performance to be as realistic as
possible."
"I am sure a stuffed parrot would be fine," said
the pet shop owner.
"I have one at home.
I'll bring it in and if you come back on Thursday
you can have it."
"Sorry," said the customer, "I can't make it on
Thursday.
That's the day I'm having my leg cut off."

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I forgot to put the seat belt on my five-year-old
grandson this morning.
As we were leaving the parking lot, somebody
shouted, "You are an irresponsible Grandpa!"
I said, "Who was that?
Stop the car, son."