Good Morning......
••
Some guy down on the street;
Ouch, What the ELL!
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♥
Mitt Romney is so conservative
when he goes to KFC, he only orders the right
wings.
when he goes to KFC, he only orders the right
wings.
••
"Yesterday was Fat Tuesday,
and of course, this being America,
it will be followed by Even Fatter Wednesday,
Obese Thursday and Fat-Ass Friday.”
and of course, this being America,
it will be followed by Even Fatter Wednesday,
Obese Thursday and Fat-Ass Friday.”
••
After receiving ashes on his forehead on
Ash Wednesday, Little Johnny asked his dad
what they were.
Before his dad could answer, his 8-year-old
sister told him that some people are buried after
they die and some people are burned and that
makes ashes.
Little Johnny exclaimed........
“Then who is on my forehead?”
Ash Wednesday, Little Johnny asked his dad
what they were.
Before his dad could answer, his 8-year-old
sister told him that some people are buried after
they die and some people are burned and that
makes ashes.
Little Johnny exclaimed........
“Then who is on my forehead?”
••
On their way home from attending an Ash
Wednesday service, little Johnny asked his
mother, "Is it true, Mommy, that we are made of
dust like the minister said tonight?"
"Yes, darling," his mother answered.
"And is it true that we go back to dust again
when we die?"
"Yes, dear," his mother replied.
"Well, Mommy, when I said my prayers last
night and looked under the bed, I saw someone
who is either coming or going?"
Wednesday service, little Johnny asked his
mother, "Is it true, Mommy, that we are made of
dust like the minister said tonight?"
"Yes, darling," his mother answered.
"And is it true that we go back to dust again
when we die?"
"Yes, dear," his mother replied.
"Well, Mommy, when I said my prayers last
night and looked under the bed, I saw someone
who is either coming or going?"
••
The night of Ash Wednesday......
we had a dinner, followed by worship.
During the dinner, a young mother came to me
and said she overheard two 3rd graders talking
earlier that day in school.
The little girl asked the boy what that smudge
was on his forehead.
He replied, "Its Ash Wednesday."
"Whats Ash Wednesday?" she asked.
"Oh, its when Christians begin their diet,"
he replied
we had a dinner, followed by worship.
During the dinner, a young mother came to me
and said she overheard two 3rd graders talking
earlier that day in school.
The little girl asked the boy what that smudge
was on his forehead.
He replied, "Its Ash Wednesday."
"Whats Ash Wednesday?" she asked.
"Oh, its when Christians begin their diet,"
he replied
••
If you can start the day without caffeine or pills,
If you can understand when loved ones are too
busy to give you time,
If you can take criticism and blame without
resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things,
Then you are probably the family dog.
If you can understand when loved ones are too
busy to give you time,
If you can take criticism and blame without
resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things,
Then you are probably the family dog.
••
Hear about the enterprising rabbi that's offering
circumsion via the internet?
The service is called e-moyl!
circumsion via the internet?
The service is called e-moyl!
••
New Orleans caving in to The American Dieting
Council, has agreed to stop referring to
Mardi Gras as 'Fat Tuesday.'
Instead when speaking about Mardi Gras,
they will refer to it as 'Pleasantly Plump Tuesday.'
Council, has agreed to stop referring to
Mardi Gras as 'Fat Tuesday.'
Instead when speaking about Mardi Gras,
they will refer to it as 'Pleasantly Plump Tuesday.'
••
A young man visited his sister who was married
to a farmer in a poor district of the country.
Since there were limited accommodations,
he was required to sleep with his young nephew.
When the young man came into the bedroom,
he saw the little boy kneeling at the side of the
bed with his head bowed.
Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing,
he decided to present a good example and
kneeled at the other side of the bed with his head
bowed.
The child looked up and said, "Whatcha doin'?"
"Why, the same thing you're doing", replied the
uncle.
"Ma's gonna be mad", said the boy.
"The bedpan's on this side".
A young man visited his sister who was married
to a farmer in a poor district of the country.
Since there were limited accommodations,
he was required to sleep with his young nephew.
When the young man came into the bedroom,
he saw the little boy kneeling at the side of the
bed with his head bowed.
Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing,
he decided to present a good example and
kneeled at the other side of the bed with his head
bowed.
The child looked up and said, "Whatcha doin'?"
"Why, the same thing you're doing", replied the
uncle.
"Ma's gonna be mad", said the boy.
"The bedpan's on this side".
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