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♥
His wife had been killed in an accident and the
police were questioning Finnegan.
"Did she say anything before she died?"
asked the sergeant.
"She spoke without interruption for about forty
years," said the Irishman.
police were questioning Finnegan.
"Did she say anything before she died?"
asked the sergeant.
"She spoke without interruption for about forty
years," said the Irishman.
••
The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in
the fields by a kind neighbor.
However kindly the neighbor might have been,
he was undoubtedly a coward.
When a bull charged towards them one day,
he abandoned the blind man.
The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the
farmer in the back.
He turned very quickly, caught the bull by the
horns and threw it to the ground with a bump
that left it breathless.
"Aidan," said the neighbor, "I never knew you
were so strong."
"Faith, and if I could have got that fella off the
handlebars of the bicycle I'd have thrashed him
properly."
the fields by a kind neighbor.
However kindly the neighbor might have been,
he was undoubtedly a coward.
When a bull charged towards them one day,
he abandoned the blind man.
The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the
farmer in the back.
He turned very quickly, caught the bull by the
horns and threw it to the ground with a bump
that left it breathless.
"Aidan," said the neighbor, "I never knew you
were so strong."
"Faith, and if I could have got that fella off the
handlebars of the bicycle I'd have thrashed him
properly."
••
I heard a story about a mother who was sick with
the flu.
Her darling daughter wanted to be a good nurse.
She fluffed the pillows and brought a magazine
for her mother to read.
And then she showed up with a cup of tea.
Why, "your such a sweetheart," the mother said
as she drank the tea.
"I didn't know you could make tea."
"Oh, yes," the little girl replied.
"I put the tea leaves in the water like you do,
and I boiled it, and then I strained it into a cup.
But I couldn't find a strainer, so I used the
flyswatter."
"You what?"
And the little girl said, "Oh, don't worry, mom.
I didn't use the new flyswatter.
I used the old one."
I heard a story about a mother who was sick with
the flu.
Her darling daughter wanted to be a good nurse.
She fluffed the pillows and brought a magazine
for her mother to read.
And then she showed up with a cup of tea.
Why, "your such a sweetheart," the mother said
as she drank the tea.
"I didn't know you could make tea."
"Oh, yes," the little girl replied.
"I put the tea leaves in the water like you do,
and I boiled it, and then I strained it into a cup.
But I couldn't find a strainer, so I used the
flyswatter."
"You what?"
And the little girl said, "Oh, don't worry, mom.
I didn't use the new flyswatter.
I used the old one."
••
Husband Throwing Darts At His Wife’s Photo
And Not Even A Single One Hitting The Target..
From Another Room Wife Called The Husband :
“Honey What Are You Doing.. Husband:
“MISSING YOU”..
Husband Throwing Darts At His Wife’s Photo
And Not Even A Single One Hitting The Target..
From Another Room Wife Called The Husband :
“Honey What Are You Doing.. Husband:
“MISSING YOU”..
••
A Man Goes To See The Rabbi.
"Rabbi, Something Terrible Is Happening And I
Have To Talk To You About It."
The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?"
The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me."
The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How
Can That Be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you,
I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What.
Let Me Talk To Her, I'll See What I Can Find Out
And I'll Let You Know."
The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says,
"Well I Spoke To Her For Three Hours.
You Want My Advice?"
The Man Said Yes
The Rabbi Replied,
"Take The poison"...!
"Rabbi, Something Terrible Is Happening And I
Have To Talk To You About It."
The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?"
The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me."
The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How
Can That Be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you,
I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What.
Let Me Talk To Her, I'll See What I Can Find Out
And I'll Let You Know."
The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says,
"Well I Spoke To Her For Three Hours.
You Want My Advice?"
The Man Said Yes
The Rabbi Replied,
"Take The poison"...!
••
A nurse finished up with an elderly male patient
after his physical.
He was dressed, but his zipper was down, and
she told him so.
His reply: "Honey, what can't get up,
can't get out."
after his physical.
He was dressed, but his zipper was down, and
she told him so.
His reply: "Honey, what can't get up,
can't get out."
••
There was an engineer, manager and programmer
driving down a steep mountain road.
The brakes failed and the car careened down the
road out of control.
Half way down the driver managed to stop the
car by running it against the embankment
narrowing avoiding going over a cliff.
They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape
from death, but otherwise unharmed.
The manager said “To fix this problem we need
to organize a committee, have meetings, and
through a process of continuous improvement,
develop a solution.”
The engineer said “No that would take too long,
and besides that method never worked before.
I have my trusty pen knife here and will take
apart the brake system, isolate the problem and
correct it.”
The programmer said “I think you’re both wrong!
I think we should all push the car back up the hill
and see if it happens again.”
driving down a steep mountain road.
The brakes failed and the car careened down the
road out of control.
Half way down the driver managed to stop the
car by running it against the embankment
narrowing avoiding going over a cliff.
They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape
from death, but otherwise unharmed.
The manager said “To fix this problem we need
to organize a committee, have meetings, and
through a process of continuous improvement,
develop a solution.”
The engineer said “No that would take too long,
and besides that method never worked before.
I have my trusty pen knife here and will take
apart the brake system, isolate the problem and
correct it.”
The programmer said “I think you’re both wrong!
I think we should all push the car back up the hill
and see if it happens again.”
••
An outraged tenant complained: "My roof is
leaking, rain is coming in through a broken
window and the floors are flooded.
How long is this going to continue?"
"How should I know?" said his landlord.
"I'm not a weatherman."
An outraged tenant complained: "My roof is
leaking, rain is coming in through a broken
window and the floors are flooded.
How long is this going to continue?"
"How should I know?" said his landlord.
"I'm not a weatherman."
••
Getting away from their high-stress jobs,
a couple spends relaxing weekends in their
motor home.
When they found their peace and quiet disturbed
by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from
other campers, they devised a plan to assure
themselves some privacy.
Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign
on the door of their RV:
"Insurance agent.
Ask about our term-life package."
a couple spends relaxing weekends in their
motor home.
When they found their peace and quiet disturbed
by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from
other campers, they devised a plan to assure
themselves some privacy.
Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign
on the door of their RV:
"Insurance agent.
Ask about our term-life package."
••
