Good Morning....All.
Breakfast for my friend.....
None for you.....
Too many breakfast's and went to his brain....
Another loser.....
What can I say??
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♥
How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done
free.
A very expensive way to get your laundry done
free.
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Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced
the opposing lawyers.
"So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of
you, with a bribe."
Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.
"You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you,
attorney Campos, gave me $10,000."
The judge reached into his pocket and pulled
out a check.
He handed it to Leon ...
"Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're
going to decide this case solely on its merits."
the opposing lawyers.
"So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of
you, with a bribe."
Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.
"You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you,
attorney Campos, gave me $10,000."
The judge reached into his pocket and pulled
out a check.
He handed it to Leon ...
"Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're
going to decide this case solely on its merits."
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Whats with antioxidants?
What did an oxidant ever do to you?
What did an oxidant ever do to you?
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Two kids are talking to each other.
One says, "I'm really worried.
My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a
nice home and good food.
My mom spends the whole day cleaning and
cooking for me....... I'm worried sick!"
The other kid says, "What have you got to worry
about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!"
The first kid says, "What if they try to escape?"
One says, "I'm really worried.
My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a
nice home and good food.
My mom spends the whole day cleaning and
cooking for me....... I'm worried sick!"
The other kid says, "What have you got to worry
about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!"
The first kid says, "What if they try to escape?"
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While walking through town this morning,
some cheesy guy asked me,
"Sir, would you like to donate twenty dollars to
save an endangered species?"
I replied, "This is America buddy.
This twenty dollar bill is an endangered species."
some cheesy guy asked me,
"Sir, would you like to donate twenty dollars to
save an endangered species?"
I replied, "This is America buddy.
This twenty dollar bill is an endangered species."
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Several years ago, I came home from a business
trip in a terrible storm with crashing thunder
and lightning.
As I entered the bedroom, I found our two
frightened kids in bed with my wife.
So I slept in the guest room that night.
The next day, I explained to the kids that it was
okay to sleep with Mom during a storm,
but when I was expected home, they had to sleep
in their own beds.
Several weeks later, my wife and kids picked me
up at the airport.
My plane was late and a dense crowd packed the
baggage area.
As I entered, my son saw me and came running,
shouting, "Daddy! Guess what?
Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away
this time!"
The terminal grew very quiet!
trip in a terrible storm with crashing thunder
and lightning.
As I entered the bedroom, I found our two
frightened kids in bed with my wife.
So I slept in the guest room that night.
The next day, I explained to the kids that it was
okay to sleep with Mom during a storm,
but when I was expected home, they had to sleep
in their own beds.
Several weeks later, my wife and kids picked me
up at the airport.
My plane was late and a dense crowd packed the
baggage area.
As I entered, my son saw me and came running,
shouting, "Daddy! Guess what?
Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away
this time!"
The terminal grew very quiet!
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I'm so glad I didn't pay extra for an ultra quiet
garbage disposal.
I love the angry growl of the one I got.
Like it's got something to prove.
garbage disposal.
I love the angry growl of the one I got.
Like it's got something to prove.
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