Good Morning.....
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But they can PINCH the crap outta you......
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♥
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot
most of the time, which produced an impressive
set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather
frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath.
This made him.........
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis....
most of the time, which produced an impressive
set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather
frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath.
This made him.........
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis....
••
An actor went to see a new agent one day and said,
`You must have a look at my act, it really is
innovative.
So saying, he flew up to the ceiling, circled the
room a few times and landed smoothly on the
agent’s desk.
`You must have a look at my act, it really is
innovative.
So saying, he flew up to the ceiling, circled the
room a few times and landed smoothly on the
agent’s desk.
`So you do bird impressions, said the agent, `what else can you do?
••
A 1912 FORD MODEL T....
got 17 miles to the gallon.
Interestingly enough, a
2007 Ford Explorer gets 18 miles to the gallon.
A 1912 FORD MODEL T....
got 17 miles to the gallon.
Interestingly enough, a
2007 Ford Explorer gets 18 miles to the gallon.
••
On Super Bowl Sunday, a family group was
watching the game when they got a call from a
cousin who was in Japan.
He mentioned that it was fifteen hours later
there and was already Monday.
One family member immediately demanded.
"So tell us who won the Super Bowl."
watching the game when they got a call from a
cousin who was in Japan.
He mentioned that it was fifteen hours later
there and was already Monday.
One family member immediately demanded.
"So tell us who won the Super Bowl."
••
New Jersey has passed a bill legalizing gay
marriage.
Now comes the hard part — finding gay couples
who want to actually live in New Jersey.
marriage.
Now comes the hard part — finding gay couples
who want to actually live in New Jersey.
••
A Minnesota man was arrested for stealing up
to $25,000 worth of laundry detergent.
Would that be a white-collar crime?
Luckily, he made a clean getaway.
to $25,000 worth of laundry detergent.
Would that be a white-collar crime?
Luckily, he made a clean getaway.
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The vice president of China showed up at the
White House the other day.
That's what happens when you get behind on the
rent.
The landlord shows up, starts looking around.
White House the other day.
That's what happens when you get behind on the
rent.
The landlord shows up, starts looking around.
••
Seen a new ad campaign being run for the
northern snow birds by our county tourist board.
Against a drop dead sunset beach picture,
It reads .... "Come to the SW coast of Florida this
winter for your family vacation !
It's got everything. Sand for the children, fishing
galore for Dad, sun for the wife, and plenty of
sharks for the mother-in-law"
northern snow birds by our county tourist board.
Against a drop dead sunset beach picture,
It reads .... "Come to the SW coast of Florida this
winter for your family vacation !
It's got everything. Sand for the children, fishing
galore for Dad, sun for the wife, and plenty of
sharks for the mother-in-law"
••
Papa John's is offering a heart-shaped pizza for
Valentine's Day.
It's for the wife who has everything, except a
husband who knows what a woman wants for
Valentine's Day.
Valentine's Day.
It's for the wife who has everything, except a
husband who knows what a woman wants for
Valentine's Day.
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