Good Morning.....
Cold....
••
••••••••••••
••••••••
♥
A student became lost during a solo cross-country
flight.
While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar,
ATC asked: "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
flight.
While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar,
ATC asked: "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
••
President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles.
Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in
half the time.
Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in
half the time.
••
A minister in Florida lamented that it was
difficult to get his message across to his local
congregation:
"It's so beautiful here in the winter," he said,
"that heaven doesn't interest them that much."
"And it's so hot here in the summer that hell
doesn't really scare them either."
difficult to get his message across to his local
congregation:
"It's so beautiful here in the winter," he said,
"that heaven doesn't interest them that much."
"And it's so hot here in the summer that hell
doesn't really scare them either."
••
A man wrote a letter to a motel owner asking if
he would let his dog stay in the room.
The owner replied immediately.
"I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the
night for being disorderly.
If your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to
stay here too."
he would let his dog stay in the room.
The owner replied immediately.
"I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the
night for being disorderly.
If your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to
stay here too."
••
A gentleman had called room service.
"And will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy
asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for
two.
"No, thank you," the gentleman replied.
"That will be all."
As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a
beautiful satin negligee on the bed.
"Anything for your wife?" he asked.
"Yeah! That's a good idea," the guy said.
"Please bring up a postcard."
"And will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy
asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for
two.
"No, thank you," the gentleman replied.
"That will be all."
As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a
beautiful satin negligee on the bed.
"Anything for your wife?" he asked.
"Yeah! That's a good idea," the guy said.
"Please bring up a postcard."
••
This farmer had a sick cat and called the Vet in
town to see what could be done for it.
The Vet asked the farmer what the problem was.
After being told, the Vet told the farmer to give it
a pint of castor oil.
The farmer asked, "A whole pint?" and the
Vet replied, "Sure, that'll fix it right up."
The next day the Vet saw the farmer in town and
asked him how the sick calf was getting along.
"You fool!" the farmer exclaimed, "That wasn't a
calf, it was a cat."
The Vet said, "Oh my goodness, did you give it
the whole pint of castor oil?"
"Sure did," the farmer replied.
"What happened? Where's the cat now?"
asked the Vet.
The farmer, pointing, said, "The last time I saw
that cat, he was going over yonder hill with five
others, two were digging, two were covering up,
and one was scouting for new territory."
town to see what could be done for it.
The Vet asked the farmer what the problem was.
After being told, the Vet told the farmer to give it
a pint of castor oil.
The farmer asked, "A whole pint?" and the
Vet replied, "Sure, that'll fix it right up."
The next day the Vet saw the farmer in town and
asked him how the sick calf was getting along.
"You fool!" the farmer exclaimed, "That wasn't a
calf, it was a cat."
The Vet said, "Oh my goodness, did you give it
the whole pint of castor oil?"
"Sure did," the farmer replied.
"What happened? Where's the cat now?"
asked the Vet.
The farmer, pointing, said, "The last time I saw
that cat, he was going over yonder hill with five
others, two were digging, two were covering up,
and one was scouting for new territory."
••
How do we know that fairy tales are fiction?
Because the prince is always smart, handsome,
single, and straight.
Because the prince is always smart, handsome,
single, and straight.
•••
••
•
