Good Morning....Friends.
.
••••••••••
••••••
•••
♥
The world's first fully computerized airliner was
ready for its maiden flight with out pilots or crew.
ready for its maiden flight with out pilots or crew.
The plane taxied to the loading area automatically,
its doors opened automatically,
the steps came out automatically.
The passengers boarded the plane and took their
seats.
The steps retreated automatically, the doors
closed, and the airplane taxied toward the
runway.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman,"
a voice intoned as the airplane lifted off.
"Welcome to the debut of the world's first fully
computerized airliner.
Everything on this aircraft is run electronically.
Just sit back and relax.
Nothing can go wrong, go wrong, go wrong..."
The passengers boarded the plane and took their
seats.
The steps retreated automatically, the doors
closed, and the airplane taxied toward the
runway.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman,"
a voice intoned as the airplane lifted off.
"Welcome to the debut of the world's first fully
computerized airliner.
Everything on this aircraft is run electronically.
Just sit back and relax.
Nothing can go wrong, go wrong, go wrong..."
••
Pyongyang National Television:
"Water and presence of whales and sharks
discovered on moon by North Korean satellite."
BBC News: "Satellite launched by North Korea
found in Sea of Japan."
"Water and presence of whales and sharks
discovered on moon by North Korean satellite."
BBC News: "Satellite launched by North Korea
found in Sea of Japan."
••
A Blonde goes to the bank and applies for a loan.
“I want a loan, I’m going to divorce my husband.”
“Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces” the
manager says, “We make loans for appliances,
automobiles, businesses, home improvements….”
Blonde interrupts and says, “Well, this is certainly
a ‘Home Improvement.’
“I want a loan, I’m going to divorce my husband.”
“Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces” the
manager says, “We make loans for appliances,
automobiles, businesses, home improvements….”
Blonde interrupts and says, “Well, this is certainly
a ‘Home Improvement.’
••
Three elderly people were talking about what
their grandchildren would be saying about them
fifty years from now.
"I would like my grandchildren to say,
'He was successful in business,'" declared the
first man.
"Fifty years from now," said the second,
"I want them to say,
'He was a loyal family man.'"
Turning to the third one, a lady, he asked,
"So what do you want them to say about you in
fifty years?"
"Me?" the third one replied.
"I want them to say, 'She certainly looks good for
her age."
their grandchildren would be saying about them
fifty years from now.
"I would like my grandchildren to say,
'He was successful in business,'" declared the
first man.
"Fifty years from now," said the second,
"I want them to say,
'He was a loyal family man.'"
Turning to the third one, a lady, he asked,
"So what do you want them to say about you in
fifty years?"
"Me?" the third one replied.
"I want them to say, 'She certainly looks good for
her age."
••
I took my girlfriend back to my apartment.
"You haven't removed many bras have you?"
she sighed.
"What gave it away?"
"The scissors, mainly."
"You haven't removed many bras have you?"
she sighed.
"What gave it away?"
"The scissors, mainly."
••
A lady once pled with Mrs.. Truman to try to get
her husband to clean up his language;
she had just heard him refer to some politician's
statement as "a bunch of horse manure."
Said Mrs.Truman calmly, "You don't know how
many years it took me to tone it down to that!"
A lady once pled with Mrs.. Truman to try to get
her husband to clean up his language;
she had just heard him refer to some politician's
statement as "a bunch of horse manure."
Said Mrs.Truman calmly, "You don't know how
many years it took me to tone it down to that!"
••
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any
damn sandwiches.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any
damn sandwiches.
••
