Good Morning.....
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You can tell I like These toons...
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♥
A woman called her doctor to complain about
her husband’s snoring.
“Is there anything you can do?”
“Well, there is one operation that will cure your
husband, but it’s rather expensive. $1,000 plus
$450 a month for 36 months.”
“My god!” exclaimed the woman,
“that’s like leasing a sports car!”
“Hmm,” the doctor murmured. “Too obvious, eh?”
her husband’s snoring.
“Is there anything you can do?”
“Well, there is one operation that will cure your
husband, but it’s rather expensive. $1,000 plus
$450 a month for 36 months.”
“My god!” exclaimed the woman,
“that’s like leasing a sports car!”
“Hmm,” the doctor murmured. “Too obvious, eh?”
••
A old man goes to the doctor and tells him that
he hasn’t been feeling well.
The doctor examines him, leaves the room and
comes back with three different bottles of pills.
The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big
glass of water when you get up.
Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after
lunch.
Then just before going to bed, take the red pill
with another big glass of water.”
Startled to be put on so much medicine the old
man stammers, “Ohhh! doc, exactly what’s my
problem?”
The Doctor says, “You’re not drinking enough
water.”
he hasn’t been feeling well.
The doctor examines him, leaves the room and
comes back with three different bottles of pills.
The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big
glass of water when you get up.
Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after
lunch.
Then just before going to bed, take the red pill
with another big glass of water.”
Startled to be put on so much medicine the old
man stammers, “Ohhh! doc, exactly what’s my
problem?”
The Doctor says, “You’re not drinking enough
water.”
••
One time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my
ears.
His advice: “Don’t answer it.”
ears.
His advice: “Don’t answer it.”
••
Gus was going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his
doctor that he’s worried about getting real seasick.
The doctor tells him, “Just eat two pounds of
stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.”
Gus says, “Will that keep me from getting sick?”
The doctor says, “No, but it’ll look real pretty in
the water.”
Gus was going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his
doctor that he’s worried about getting real seasick.
The doctor tells him, “Just eat two pounds of
stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.”
Gus says, “Will that keep me from getting sick?”
The doctor says, “No, but it’ll look real pretty in
the water.”
••
The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude
and said, “Since we are the best of friends,
I would not want to insult you by offering
payment.
But I would like for you to know that I had
mentioned you in my will.”
“That is very kind of you,” said the doctor
emotionally, and then added,
“May I see that prescription I just gave you?
I’d like to make a little change…”
and said, “Since we are the best of friends,
I would not want to insult you by offering
payment.
But I would like for you to know that I had
mentioned you in my will.”
“That is very kind of you,” said the doctor
emotionally, and then added,
“May I see that prescription I just gave you?
I’d like to make a little change…”
••
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
••
A lawyer finds out he has an inoperable brain
tumor.
It's so large, they have to do a brain transplant.
His doctor gives him a choice of available brains.
There's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an
ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an
ounce, and a jar of lawyer brains for the sum of
$800 an ounce.
The outraged lawyer says, "This is a ripoff!
How come the lawyer brains are so damned
expensive?"
The doctor replies, "Do you know how many
lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?"
tumor.
It's so large, they have to do a brain transplant.
His doctor gives him a choice of available brains.
There's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an
ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an
ounce, and a jar of lawyer brains for the sum of
$800 an ounce.
The outraged lawyer says, "This is a ripoff!
How come the lawyer brains are so damned
expensive?"
The doctor replies, "Do you know how many
lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?"
••
Q: Why shouldn't you throw plastic bags into the
swamps in Louisiana?
A: Because the bags are not bayou degradable.
swamps in Louisiana?
A: Because the bags are not bayou degradable.
••
