Good Morning..All
What a big head......
He looks happy ??
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♥
As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of
the world, I suddenly realized that I don't really
give a rat's toss.
It's the tortoise life for me!
1. If walking/cycling is good for your health,
the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks
water, and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing,
yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.
I'm retired. Go around me!
the world, I suddenly realized that I don't really
give a rat's toss.
It's the tortoise life for me!
1. If walking/cycling is good for your health,
the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks
water, and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing,
yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.
I'm retired. Go around me!
••
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to
her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this
is."
"Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going
out the door to the office.
At 10 am, the doorbell rang, and when the
woman opened the door, she was handed a box
containing a dozen long stemmed red roses.
At 1 pm, a foil wrapped, two-pound box of her
favorite chocolates arrived.
Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.
The woman couldn't wait for her husband to
come home.
"First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then
the dress!" she exclaimed.
"I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog
Day in my life!"
her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this
is."
"Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going
out the door to the office.
At 10 am, the doorbell rang, and when the
woman opened the door, she was handed a box
containing a dozen long stemmed red roses.
At 1 pm, a foil wrapped, two-pound box of her
favorite chocolates arrived.
Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.
The woman couldn't wait for her husband to
come home.
"First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then
the dress!" she exclaimed.
"I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog
Day in my life!"
••
Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand
springs or eating with chopsticks.
It looks easy until you try it. - Helen Rowland -
springs or eating with chopsticks.
It looks easy until you try it. - Helen Rowland -
••
Japan thanked the U.S. for sending them a team
of search dogs following the recent tsunami.
They said they were delicious.
They sent back a cook book to thank us,
Titled 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog....
of search dogs following the recent tsunami.
They said they were delicious.
They sent back a cook book to thank us,
Titled 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog....
••
I finally took the wife to a nice restaurant.
She got so excited, she almost dropped her tray.
She got so excited, she almost dropped her tray.
••
Target raises deodorant prices to keep Walmart
clientele away.
clientele away.
••
Saw a werewolf at the bus stop early this morning.
Or possibly just a very hairy guy.
Either way, the silver bullets worked.
Or possibly just a very hairy guy.
Either way, the silver bullets worked.
••
While dining out, my girlfriend went into the
restroom to freshen up.
She came out and gave me a passionate kiss and
ran her fingers all through my hair.
"Whoa," I said.
"Am I going to get lucky tonight?"
"Luckier than me," she replied.
"There were no towels in the restroom."
While dining out, my girlfriend went into the
restroom to freshen up.
She came out and gave me a passionate kiss and
ran her fingers all through my hair.
"Whoa," I said.
"Am I going to get lucky tonight?"
"Luckier than me," she replied.
"There were no towels in the restroom."
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