Good Morning, Friends..
Somebody's gotta keep a cool head.....
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♥
Two cows are standing next to each other in a
field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated
this morning."
"I don't believe you," replies Dolly.
"Daisy says, "It's true, no bull!
field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated
this morning."
"I don't believe you," replies Dolly.
"Daisy says, "It's true, no bull!
☼
Passenger to air hostess:
What's your name honey?
Air Hostess: Mercedes, Sir.
Passenger: Lovely name. Any relation with
Mercedes Benz?
Air hostess: Yes sir, same price!!!
What's your name honey?
Air Hostess: Mercedes, Sir.
Passenger: Lovely name. Any relation with
Mercedes Benz?
Air hostess: Yes sir, same price!!!
☼
Obama is losing support from his own party.
In fact Jimmy Carter just compared him to
Jimmy Carter.
In fact Jimmy Carter just compared him to
Jimmy Carter.
☼
I went into the Hallmark shop yesterday.
I said to the woman behind the counter,
"Do you sell bereavement cards?"
She said, "Yes, sir."
So I said, "Could I exchange one for this get well
soon card I bought yesterday?
I went into the Hallmark shop yesterday.
I said to the woman behind the counter,
"Do you sell bereavement cards?"
She said, "Yes, sir."
So I said, "Could I exchange one for this get well
soon card I bought yesterday?
☼
We had a power outage at our home last night.
So, instead of a night of TV, the wife and I spent
the time chatting.
It was a real eye opener - I'm off to buy a
back-up generator today.
So, instead of a night of TV, the wife and I spent
the time chatting.
It was a real eye opener - I'm off to buy a
back-up generator today.
☼
I get up each morning, and dust off my wits,
pick up my paper and read the "obits".
If my name is missing, I know I'm not dead,
so I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed....
pick up my paper and read the "obits".
If my name is missing, I know I'm not dead,
so I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed....
☼
For the first time in many years, a an old man
traveled from his rural town to the city to attend
a movie.
After buying his ticket, he stopped at the
concession stand to purchase some popcorn.
Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help
but comment, "The last time I came to the movies,
popcorn was only 15 cents."
"Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin,
"You're really going to enjoy yourself.
We have sound now".
traveled from his rural town to the city to attend
a movie.
After buying his ticket, he stopped at the
concession stand to purchase some popcorn.
Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help
but comment, "The last time I came to the movies,
popcorn was only 15 cents."
"Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin,
"You're really going to enjoy yourself.
We have sound now".
☼
Worried because they hadn't heard anything for
days from the widow in the neighboring
apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son,
"Timmy, would you go next door and see how
old Mrs. Kirkland is?"
A few minutes later, Timmy returned.
"Well," asked Mrs. Silver, "is she all right?"
"She's fine, except that she's angry at you."
"At me?" the woman exclaimed. "Whatever for?"
She said 'It's none of your business how old she is.'
days from the widow in the neighboring
apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son,
"Timmy, would you go next door and see how
old Mrs. Kirkland is?"
A few minutes later, Timmy returned.
"Well," asked Mrs. Silver, "is she all right?"
"She's fine, except that she's angry at you."
"At me?" the woman exclaimed. "Whatever for?"
She said 'It's none of your business how old she is.'
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