I wonder..did he live??
Smile!
Yes! I see....
••
You're Still Drinking Too Much Coffee When:
*You channel surf faster without a remote.
*You're offended when people use the word
"brew" to mean beer.
*You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a
lesson.
*Your Thermos is on wheels.
*Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping
position.
*You have a picture of your coffee mug on your
coffee mug.
*You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
*You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
*Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter Scale.
*You can't even remember your second cup.
*You help your dog chase its tail.
*You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
*Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with
an I.V. hookup.
*You channel surf faster without a remote.
*You're offended when people use the word
"brew" to mean beer.
*You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a
lesson.
*Your Thermos is on wheels.
*Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping
position.
*You have a picture of your coffee mug on your
coffee mug.
*You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
*You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
*Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter Scale.
*You can't even remember your second cup.
*You help your dog chase its tail.
*You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
*Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with
an I.V. hookup.
••
The teenager lost a contact lens while playing
basketball in his driveway.
After a fruitless search, he told his mother the
lens was no where to be found.
Undaunted, she went outside and in a few
minutes returned with the lens in her hand.
"How did you manage to find it, Mom"?
the teenager asked.
"We weren't looking for the same thing,"
she replied.
"You were looking for a small piece of plastic.
I was looking for $150."
basketball in his driveway.
After a fruitless search, he told his mother the
lens was no where to be found.
Undaunted, she went outside and in a few
minutes returned with the lens in her hand.
"How did you manage to find it, Mom"?
the teenager asked.
"We weren't looking for the same thing,"
she replied.
"You were looking for a small piece of plastic.
I was looking for $150."
••
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and
he's flipping a coin.
At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again.
The teacher says, "What are you doing?"
He says, "Checking my answers."
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and
he's flipping a coin.
At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again.
The teacher says, "What are you doing?"
He says, "Checking my answers."
••
Q: what is the blonde doing when she holds her
hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold onto a thought.
hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold onto a thought.
••
A seven-year-old turns up in his classroom one
morning to be confronted by his teacher.
Teacher: "Morning Tommy, and why weren't you
at school yesterday?"
Tommy: "Well Miss, my Grandad got burnt."
Teacher: "Oh Dear, he wasn't too badly hurt
I hope?"
Tommy: "Oh yes Miss, they don't mess around
at those crematoriums."
morning to be confronted by his teacher.
Teacher: "Morning Tommy, and why weren't you
at school yesterday?"
Tommy: "Well Miss, my Grandad got burnt."
Teacher: "Oh Dear, he wasn't too badly hurt
I hope?"
Tommy: "Oh yes Miss, they don't mess around
at those crematoriums."
••
The man who invented the corduroy pillows
told reporters that he expected them to make
headlines.
told reporters that he expected them to make
headlines.
••••••••••••
