Good Morning......
☺☺☺
☺☺
♥♥♥
My wife noticed the cut on my finger......
and asked me what happened.
I replied, "I knicked it while I was cutting some
cord".
She replied, "You are such a clumsy idiot"!
I said, "Yeah, anyway, are we still on for skydiving
tomorrow"?
and asked me what happened.
I replied, "I knicked it while I was cutting some
cord".
She replied, "You are such a clumsy idiot"!
I said, "Yeah, anyway, are we still on for skydiving
tomorrow"?
☺
Juan sees a man leaning against the wall of a
large building.
The man is puffing away, one cigarette after
another.
Juan says, “Sir, I couldn’t help noticing how you
chain-smoke.
How many packs do you smoke a day?”
“Four.”
“How long have you been smoking?”
“Thirty years.”
“That’s over six thousand packs.
If you didn’t smoke, you could have saved enough
money to buy this building.”
The smoker takes a deep puff and says,
“Do you smoke?”
“Never.”
“Do you own this building?”
“No.”
“Well, I do.”
large building.
The man is puffing away, one cigarette after
another.
Juan says, “Sir, I couldn’t help noticing how you
chain-smoke.
How many packs do you smoke a day?”
“Four.”
“How long have you been smoking?”
“Thirty years.”
“That’s over six thousand packs.
If you didn’t smoke, you could have saved enough
money to buy this building.”
The smoker takes a deep puff and says,
“Do you smoke?”
“Never.”
“Do you own this building?”
“No.”
“Well, I do.”
☺
Two kids were deciding what game to play.
One said, “Let’s play doctor.”
“Good idea,” said the other.
You operate, and I’'ll sue.”
One said, “Let’s play doctor.”
“Good idea,” said the other.
You operate, and I’'ll sue.”
☺
Three men were preparing for a trip into the
desert.
Each could bring one thing.
One brought some food so they wouldn't starve.
The second brought some water so they wouldn't
dehydrate.
The third, a blond guy, brought a car door so he
could roll down the window if he got hot!
desert.
Each could bring one thing.
One brought some food so they wouldn't starve.
The second brought some water so they wouldn't
dehydrate.
The third, a blond guy, brought a car door so he
could roll down the window if he got hot!
☺
Q. Why did the pig cross the road.....
A. To prove that he wasn't a chicken
A. To prove that he wasn't a chicken
☺
Dateline: Jacksonville;
I need help catching the gator that ate my prized
pig.
My pig (Rudy Belle) was wearing a very expensive
necklace, a generational necklace, which was in
my wife's family for years.
The emotional distress I have had from losing my
pig is nothing like the stress I will receive from
my wife if I don't get it back.
It happened at the Blue Cypress Golf Club and it
scared the bejesus out of me.
I spoke to management and they said there was
nothing they could do.
If anyone has found the necklace or has seen this
gator ( has a weird blotchy snout) pleasssse
contact me.
Thanks........Jimmy T.
I need help catching the gator that ate my prized
pig.
My pig (Rudy Belle) was wearing a very expensive
necklace, a generational necklace, which was in
my wife's family for years.
The emotional distress I have had from losing my
pig is nothing like the stress I will receive from
my wife if I don't get it back.
It happened at the Blue Cypress Golf Club and it
scared the bejesus out of me.
I spoke to management and they said there was
nothing they could do.
If anyone has found the necklace or has seen this
gator ( has a weird blotchy snout) pleasssse
contact me.
Thanks........Jimmy T.
☺
A young man went to a carpenter and asked,
"Can you build me a box that is two inches high,
two inches wide, and fifty feet long?"
"Hmm..." mused the carpenter.
"It could be done, I suppose, but what would you
want a box like that for?"
"Well, you see," said the young man,
"my neighbor moved away and forgot some things,
so he asked me to send him his garden hose."
"Can you build me a box that is two inches high,
two inches wide, and fifty feet long?"
"Hmm..." mused the carpenter.
"It could be done, I suppose, but what would you
want a box like that for?"
"Well, you see," said the young man,
"my neighbor moved away and forgot some things,
so he asked me to send him his garden hose."
☺
Three muslim men found guilty of handing out
anti-homosexuality leaflets.
Good luck in the showers.
Three muslim men found guilty of handing out
anti-homosexuality leaflets.
Good luck in the showers.
☺
I saw an old lady in the Walmart parking
struggling to load her bags of shopping into her
car this morning.
As I walked past her, she said, "Excuse me young
man, can you possibly help me?"
"I'll give it a go darling" I said, "What's up?"
She said, "I've been trying to load these bags into
my car for about ten minutes or so,
my back is killing me, have you got the time?"
I said, "Yes, it's quarter past 11."
struggling to load her bags of shopping into her
car this morning.
As I walked past her, she said, "Excuse me young
man, can you possibly help me?"
"I'll give it a go darling" I said, "What's up?"
She said, "I've been trying to load these bags into
my car for about ten minutes or so,
my back is killing me, have you got the time?"
I said, "Yes, it's quarter past 11."
☺
Granny knot, surgeon's knot, hangman's knot,
square knot.
I can't do them, but my headphones sure can.
square knot.
I can't do them, but my headphones sure can.
