Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning...Friends..
Cloudy, today.. A chance of rain in the afternoon.
Highs in the lower 60s. Chance of rain 40 percent.

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Want some candy... little girl..?

I don't think so.....

My kinda Place.....

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♥♥♥

A mother says to her husband,"let's give our son a bicycle this
Christmas."
"Do you think that will make him behave better?" the dad asks.
The mom says "I don't think so, but it will spread his rotten
behavior over a wider area."

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After four karate lessons......
I can now break a two inch board with my cast.

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This just in:
Scientists have just discovered oil reserves in Antarctica.
After the announcement, the United States condemned the Penguins'
brutal regime and called for UN action to stabilise the region.

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A man decided to march in the Holy Crusades.
Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone,
he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend.
He tells him, "If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and
set her free to live a normal life."
So, the husband leaves on horseback.
About a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him.
He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"You gave me the wrong key!"

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At the typical Christmas dinner, Mom is always yelling,
"Get out of my kitchen!"
 The grown kids are always yelling at their tiny offspring,
"Stop running! You'll break Grandma's furniture!"
 Dad is always yelling, "Get out of the way! I can't see the TV set!"
 The little ones are yelling, "It's my toy! Let me play with it!"
 This is why this is known as the Holler Day Season.

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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every site stored in
his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.

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My job as a land surveyor took me to a golf course that was expanding
from 9 holes to 18 holes.
Using a machete to clear thick brush in an area I was mapping,
I came upon a golf club that an irate player must have tossed away.
It was in good condition, so I picked it up and continued on.
When I broke out of the brush onto a putting green,
two golfers stared at me in awe.
I had a machete in one hand, a golf club in the other, and behind
me was a clear-cut swath leading out of the woods.
"There," said one of the golfers, "is a guy who hates to lose his ball!"

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My aunt's young family with two boys ages 3 and 4, had attended
church one spring morning.
As they left the church the pastor said, "Well, look at you boys,
all bright eyed and bushy tailed!"
Joe the older boy loudly announced, "We don't got tails;
we got Dinkys!"
My aunt was mortified.

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Barack Obama has stated that military action against North Korea
will depend on whether or not their plutonium contains oil.

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 A three-year-old girl on her first trip to the beach took one look at the
ocean and ran to her mother. 
Persuaded to get her feet wet, the girl splashed at the water's edge. 
Later as the tide came in, she ran across the sand and screamed,
"Mom, the water is chasing me!"

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I tried stand-up comedy in a tough house.
The poor fellow before me got booed off the stage.
In fact, he was so bad, that two minutes into my routine,
they started booing him again.

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Todays Thought;

When it's a question of money, everybody is of the same religion. - Voltaire

Rae's Trivia.....

It is thought that the saying "pulling your leg" originated from the
 custom in the Middle Ages of hanging people in such a creative
way that the victims often choked slowly and in agony.
To put an end to their sufferings, pals or relatives of the suffocating
victims would pull down hard on their legs in order to snap their necks.