Kinda cool this morning.....20º
Sunny Today... Highs in the upper 40s.
I see the spammers still trying to put
their spam on the comments....
They never learn... won't get past me...
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When I flew to Fla., last week by Delta Airlines, the Pilot said:
"Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now,
so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off.
Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside
the plane till we land...it's a bit cold outside, and if you
walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
"Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now,
so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off.
Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside
the plane till we land...it's a bit cold outside, and if you
walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
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Chuck Norris was in the amazon one day when he was
bit by a vicious snake.
After 3 days of pain and suffering... the snake died.
bit by a vicious snake.
After 3 days of pain and suffering... the snake died.
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A UVA Medical research group advertised for participants
in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
They were looking for therapy clients who had been
diagnosed with this disorder.
The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses
the day after the ad came out.
All from the same person.
in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
They were looking for therapy clients who had been
diagnosed with this disorder.
The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses
the day after the ad came out.
All from the same person.
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Lady, this vacuum cleaner will cut your work in half.
Good....... I'll take two of them.
Good....... I'll take two of them.
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The Atheist And The Loch Ness Monster.....
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as
the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down
from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"
"Come on God, give me a break!!" the man pleaded.
"Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness
monster either!"
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as
the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down
from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"
"Come on God, give me a break!!" the man pleaded.
"Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness
monster either!"
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A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with
the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant.
"No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got
into the house without waking my wife.
I've been trying to do that for years!"
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with
the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant.
"No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got
into the house without waking my wife.
I've been trying to do that for years!"
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There's quite an art to falling apart as the years go by,
And life doesn't begin at 40. That's a big fat lie.
My hair's getting thinner, my body is not;
The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.
I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel #5;
My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive.
When asked of my past, every detail I'll know,
But what was I doing 10 minutes ago?
Well, you get the idea, what more can I say?
I'm off to read the obit, like I do every day;
If my name's not there, I'll once again start
Perfecting the art of falling apart!
And life doesn't begin at 40. That's a big fat lie.
My hair's getting thinner, my body is not;
The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.
I smell of Vick's-Vapo-Rub, not Chanel #5;
My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive.
When asked of my past, every detail I'll know,
But what was I doing 10 minutes ago?
Well, you get the idea, what more can I say?
I'm off to read the obit, like I do every day;
If my name's not there, I'll once again start
Perfecting the art of falling apart!
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The bride-to-be and her best friend were discussing her
impending wedding.
"If you want an unforgettable wedding night," her friend said.
"Get him to eat a dozen oysters after the ceremony."
A week later, the new bride thanked her friend but said
plaintively "Only eight of the oysters worked."
impending wedding.
"If you want an unforgettable wedding night," her friend said.
"Get him to eat a dozen oysters after the ceremony."
A week later, the new bride thanked her friend but said
plaintively "Only eight of the oysters worked."
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Oh Gosh," sighed the wife one morning,
"I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"
Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented,
"I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every
day for twenty years!"
"I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"
Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented,
"I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every
day for twenty years!"
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A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat
reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession even
to the grocery store, which was a few blocks from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she
departed, "Remember, if you have an accident,
the newspaper will print your age."
reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession even
to the grocery store, which was a few blocks from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she
departed, "Remember, if you have an accident,
the newspaper will print your age."
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In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader,
the winner would be Chuck Norris.
the winner would be Chuck Norris.
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Todays thought...
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbour. -
Gilbert Keith Chesterton
but God makes our next-door neighbour. -
Gilbert Keith Chesterton
Rae's Trivia......
jellyfish is not a single animal but a
colony of animals.
Some tentacles act as a balance,
others sting enemies,
some catch prey,
while others are in charge of breeding.
Jellyfish are more than 95 percent water
and have no brain, heart, or bones,
and no actual eyes.
colony of animals.
Some tentacles act as a balance,
others sting enemies,
some catch prey,
while others are in charge of breeding.
Jellyfish are more than 95 percent water
and have no brain, heart, or bones,
and no actual eyes.
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