Everybody keeping warm?
I'm reading 21º degrees this morning....
Today... It will go into the 40's....
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♥♥♥
I was standing next to my friend when he dropped his
chewing gum. He quickly picked it up and popped it back in his mouth.
"You dirty bugger!" I shouted.
"What?" he said. "Five second rule, mate!"
"Yeah, but it fell in the damn urinal."
**
Two cannibals are sitting around the fire after dinner.
The first cannibal, "Man your old lady sure does make a mean roast."
The second cannibal,"Yeah I know..
but I'm sure gonna miss her."
**
A woman asked her husband, ” will you love me when
I am old and grey?The husband replied, ” I have loved you through
7 shades already”
He is recovering nicely after 2 weeks in the hospital...
**
"What do you do at Christmas time?"
Patrick addressed the class:
"Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters
go to midnight mass and we sing hymns;
then we come home very late and we put mince pies
by the back door and hang up our stockings.
Then all excited, we go to bed and wait for Father
Christmas to come with all our toys."
"Very nice Patrick," she said. "Now Jimmy Brown,
what do you do at Christmas?"
"Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to church
with Mom and Dad and we sing carols and we get home
ever so late.
We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up
our stockings.
We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our
presents."
Realising there was a Jewish boy in the class and not
wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked,
"Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?"
Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year . . ..
Dad comes home from the office, we all pile into the
Rolls Royce; then we drive to Dad's toy factory.
When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves . .. .
and begin to sing: 'What A Friend We Have in Jesus'.
Then we all go to the Bahamas."
**
Me: “Thank you for calling tech support.
How can I help you?”Customer: “I am entering a software registration key.
I do not know how to enter a backwards ‘E’.”
Me: “For a game?”
Customer: “Yes, for registering a game.
It’s a product registration number on the manual.
A backwards ‘E’.”
Me: “Are you sure it’s not a ‘3’?”
**
Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us,
snow is exhilarating, there is no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather!
**
I can’t log into my account”
Me: “Okay, that may be a bug.
Let me get some basic information from you.
What internet browser are you using?”
Caller: “What’s a browser?”
Me: “That’s what you use to surf the Internet.
Popular browsers are Internet Explorer and Firefox.”
Caller: “Oh. I think I’m using Yahoo.”
Me: “That’s a search engine.
Caller: “Ask.com?”
Me: “That’s another search engine.
I need to know what browser you use to get to that
website.”
Caller: “Oh, I think I know what you mean.
I’m using Hotmail.”
(This goes on for about 10 minutes.
Eventually, we locate the bug.
While I’m writing up the report, I’m making small-talk with
the customer.)
Me: “You said you’re in college?
What do you study?”
Caller: “Computer science. I’m really good at it!”
**
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Todays thought;
"Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes
of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives."- William James
Rae's Trivia.....
Shampoo was first marketed in the United
States in 1930 by John Breck, who was the captain of
a volunteer fire department.
**
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