We're home from vacation.....
Had a wonderful time..The weather was very good...
Damn, it's cold here this morning.
I'm reading 27ยบ degrees right now...
and will be in the 50's today......
☺
Breakfast with vitamin D.....
Guess who's for breakfast?
Guess he had to pick a better place to park....
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♥♥♥
What is "out of bounds"?
An exhausted kangaroo!
An exhausted kangaroo!
☺
OMG! I had to call the cops last night!
"What's your emergency?" they asked.
I said, "Two girls are fighting over me."
"OK," she paused. "Well what's the problem?"
"The fat one's winning."
"What's your emergency?" they asked.
I said, "Two girls are fighting over me."
"OK," she paused. "Well what's the problem?"
"The fat one's winning."
☺
The wife said she wanted to have a wild time...
she tied me to the bed.
Got dressed and went out.
she tied me to the bed.
Got dressed and went out.
☺
I once had a job crushing coke and sprite cans.
It was soda pressing....
It was soda pressing....
☺
Your first job will be to sweep the floor.
But I'm a college student the young man replied.
In that case give me the broom - I'll show you how.
But I'm a college student the young man replied.
In that case give me the broom - I'll show you how.
☼
I broke my arm trying to fold a bed.
It wasn't the kind that folds.
It wasn't the kind that folds.
☺
A few things to think about:
If you sleep on a memory foam mattress,
Do you have a night to remember?
If a ghost is feeling down,
Can you raise their spirit?
If you suffer from kleptomania,
Do you take anything for it?
Is a career in burglary easy to break into?
If Gay people aren't sure about anything,
Can you put them straight?
If you steal hay from a farmers field and get convicted,
are they released on bail?
Do people who sell cocaine report to a line manager?
Does the tire manufacturer Pirelli ever admit to having a
Good Year?
If you sleep on a memory foam mattress,
Do you have a night to remember?
If a ghost is feeling down,
Can you raise their spirit?
If you suffer from kleptomania,
Do you take anything for it?
Is a career in burglary easy to break into?
If Gay people aren't sure about anything,
Can you put them straight?
If you steal hay from a farmers field and get convicted,
are they released on bail?
Do people who sell cocaine report to a line manager?
Does the tire manufacturer Pirelli ever admit to having a
Good Year?
☺
I think my wife hates me....
Today was my birthday and she wrapped a bunch of legal
documents with signature tabs for me to sign.
Am I in trouble?
Today was my birthday and she wrapped a bunch of legal
documents with signature tabs for me to sign.
Am I in trouble?
☺
~ On a trip to see Santa, a young girl climbed onto
Saint Nick's lap and shared her wish list.
Later that day, in another store she saw Santa again
and once more was asked what she wanted.
The girl shook her head and said,
"You really need to write this stuff down."
☺
It was a particularly busy day at the bank when a
woman stormed up to the customer service counter and
demanded in a loud voice, "What do I have to do to
change the address on my account."
Without even looking up the cashier said, "Simple,
madam, you have to move."
woman stormed up to the customer service counter and
demanded in a loud voice, "What do I have to do to
change the address on my account."
Without even looking up the cashier said, "Simple,
madam, you have to move."
☺
☺
Todays Thought:
All men are not created equal but should be treated as
though they were under the law. - Andy Rooney..
though they were under the law. - Andy Rooney..
Raes Trivia....
Sarah Edmonds was one of many women who fought in
the U.S. Civil War in disguise as a man.
She became a Union spy, and later deserted to protect
her secret.
Edmonds revealed her true identity after the war in an
attempt to clear herself of the desertion charges and
gain a pension.
the U.S. Civil War in disguise as a man.
She became a Union spy, and later deserted to protect
her secret.
Edmonds revealed her true identity after the war in an
attempt to clear herself of the desertion charges and
gain a pension.
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