Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning, Everyone....
Rain...mainly in the afternoon.
Highs in the mid 40s.
Chance of rain near 100 percent.

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I ate too much Christmas dinner...
I wish I had this much gas in my car.

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One snowy Saturday, Jerry was having a coffee with his friend Matt,
a city bus driver.
"What's new at transit, Matt?"
"I got a commendation the other day."
"Congratulations. What did you do?" Jerry asked.
"Well, Tuesday, just after the start of my first run of the day,
a drunk got on the bus and fell asleep.
After watching people avoid the seats near the drunk for one and a
half loops of my run, I finally took the man and dragged him off the bus."
Jerry was shocked! "You got a commendation for throwing a poor
drunk off the bus, into a snow bank?"
"No, no," Matt replied.
"On my next run, I noticed the drunk was STILL lying in the snow.
 I dragged him back into the warmth of the bus.
"Someone saw me do that and phoned it in."

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A heavy woman walked into a clothing store
and said "I'd like to see a swimsuit in my size."
The clerks said, "So would I."

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Year after year Bubba's wife pleaded with him to take her fishing
but he kept telling her she would not enjoy it. 
She, finally wore him down, he consented, and early one morning
they took off to the lake.
They had not been there very long when the fish began biting. 
Almost as fast as they cast, a fish would bite, and they reeled it in. 
After catching their limit, Bubba said, "Martha, sweet thang,
I'm sorry. 
You've been good luck and I'm gonna bring you with me the next time.
If you'll mark the spot where we caught all these fish, we'll go home."
On the way home, Bubba turned to Martha and said, "Sweet thang,
how did you mark the spot where all the fish are so next time I'll know?" 
"Bubba darlin', I put a big X on the side of the boat right down closest
to the water."
"Sweet thang, that's about the dumbest thing I ever seen you do. 
Don't you know that won't work? 
We may not get the same boat the next time!"

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Anyone who starts a sentence "With all due respect..."
is about to insult you.

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In 2010 a 67 year-old Wisconsin man made headlines after he
became so upset that he shot his TV. ....... Why? 
Because Bristol Palin had advanced to the finals on Dancing with the
Stars, and he didn't think she deserved to.

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Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in
Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder.
He steps up to the bar, sets the monkey on the bar,slides the peanut
bowl over to the monkey, then orders a beer.
While the man is drinking his beer, the monkey takes a peanut,hulls
it,looks at it, sticks it up his butt, then eats the peanut.
the brtender sees this and tells the man,"Hey!
Get that nasty animal outa my bar."
"What nasty animal?" The man replies.
"That monkey"says the bartender,"He's hulling those peanuts ,
sticking them up his butt, then eating them."
"Oh, He's not being nasty ..... He's being cautious."
"How do you figure that?" ask the bartender.
"Well you see," explained the man,"my monkey used to be a gluttion.
Then one day a woman gave him a peach, and after passing that
pit,now he makes sure it fits before he eats it"

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Todays Thought:

"Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity;
from discord find harmony; in the middle of difficulty lies
opportunity. - Albert Einstein

Rae's Trivia......

Thresholds have historically held significant symbolic value,
and a vampire cannot cross a threshold unless invited.
The connection between thresholds and vampires seems to be
a concept of complicity or allowance.
Once a commitment is made to allow evil, evil can re-enter at
any time.