Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning Friends....
Sunny today... Highs in the lower 60s.
Southwest winds 10 to 15 mph with gusts up to 25 mph.
Last post... see you in three weeks.
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~  In going back to my small hometown for a reunion,
I was surprised at the changes I saw until a sign in front
of the grocery store made me realize that the old values
 still existed. 
The sign said: "We accept Visa, Master Card, Eggs."

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~ A teenage boy lifted weights and did push-ups daily. 
One weekend morning his father summoned the boy
and handed him a rake. 
The dad gestured silently to piles of leaves covering the
yard.
 His son responded,  "I can't do that, Dad!
It builds up all the wrong muscles."

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~  A man came into a music store to buy a heavy brass
mute for his violin. 
When told the price, he said he couldn't and wouldn't
pay that much and stormed out. 
A few days later he returned and started counting out
 the money. 
"All my neighbors chipped in," he explained.

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~  A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning
rounds when he entered a patient's room.
He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to
saw a piece of wood in half.
 Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.
The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing.
The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this
piece of wood in half?"
The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was
doing.
Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a
little crazy.
He thinks he's a lightbulb."
The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is
going all red.
 The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend,
you should get him down from there before he hurts
himself"
 Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"

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~  When their mine became defunct, Jake and Abe
decided to grow mushrooms in its cool, dark tunnels.
Business prospered, but Jake wanted all the profits,
so he decided to kill Abe by planting some poisonous
varieties in his partner's section.
When Abe found out, he had Jake arrested.
Although the charge of attempted murder was dismissed
for lack of evidence, the court did find Jake guilty
of corrupting the morels of a miner.

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~  One afternoon for the first time a nine-year-old girl
was making two batched of chocolate-chip cookies. 
The was using the new math skills to double the recipe
and when she got near the end, she asked her mother. 
"How do I set the oven to eight hundred degrees.

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~  Two bees ran into each other.
The first bee asked the other how things were going.
"Really bad," said the second bee.
"The weather has been really wet and damp and there
aren't any flowers or pollen, so I can't make any honey."
"No problem," said the first bee.
"Just fly down five blocks and turn left.
 Keep going until you see all the cars.
here's a Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of
fresh flowers and fruit."
"Thanks for the tip," said the second bee, and he flew
away.
A few hours later, the two bees ran into each other again.

The first bee asked, "How'd it go?"

"Great!" said the second bee.

 "It was everything you said it would be."
"Uh, what's that thing on your head?"
asked the first bee.
"That's my yarmulke," said the second bee.
"I didn't want them to think I was a wasp."

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~  "Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after
folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier
noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
 "Do you always carry your TV remote?" the cashier
asked.
 "No," she replied.
"But my husband refused to come shopping with me,
so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.

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~ When the full moon is giving its glow
The hair on this fellow will grow!
But you never will creep
Up on him in his sleep,
That's why he's aware-wolf, you know!

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Todays thought:

* People will generally accept facts as truth only if the
facts agree with what they already believe. - Andy Rooney

Rae's Trivia.....

Mickey Rooney turned down the role of Archie Bunker
in the 1970s sitsom All in the Family.
The former child star was convinced that the show would
bomb, and he wasn’t willing to jeopardize his
professional reputation, although his film career had
been on the skids for years.
Little-known character actor Carroll O’Connor won the
role as a result.

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