Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning Friends, and Neighbors...
Todays weather; A slight chance of thunderstorms.
Rain in the morning... then showers in the afternoon.
Highs in the mid 60s.
Started pouring down at 2:00am.....
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~  A doctor in a clinic was interviewing a new patient. 
"If I find an operation necessary," he asked, "would
you have the money to pay for it?"
"Listen Doc," replied the man, "if I didn't have the
money, would you find the operation necessary?"

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~  The person who knows how will always have a job.
But the person who knows why will be the boss.

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 ~  At a country-club party a young man was introduced
to an attractive girl. 
Right away he began flattering her outrageously. 
The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit
aback by his fast and ardent pitch. 
She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously
proposed marriage.
"Look" she said.  "We only met a half hour ago. 
There is no way you could be so sure. 
We don't know a thing about each other."
 "You're wrong," the young man declared. 
"For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank
where your father has his account.

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~  I chose the path less traveled, but only because I
was lost.

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~  My wife was upset earlier. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
She said, “I really hate it when you come home drunk.”
“Sorry babe” I said, holding her hand.
“I promise that from now on when I’m drunk I won’t
bother coming home.”

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~  After listening to the elderly hooker plead her case,
Judge Hanson called a brief recess and retired to his
chambers.
Enroute, he bumped into Judge Forbes.
 "Say," said Hanson, "what would you give a
sixty-three-year-old hooker?"
"Oh gosh," replied Forbes, "five or six bucks tops."

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~ People bashing people over the heads with the art
of Judo obviously don’t know that the name really means...
"The Gentle Way".

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~  Farmer Jack watched two men park their county truck
on the side of the road. 
One man got out and dug a hole, then moved along a bit
and dug another. 
The other man followed, filling in each of the holes. 
The farmer called out: "What's going on with all the
digging?" 
"We work for the county," one of the men said. 
"I see that, but one of you is digging a hole and the
other is filling it. 
You're just wasting my tax money."
"No, we're not," the worker replied. 
"Normally there's three of us:  me, Rodney and Mike. 
I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike puts
the dirt back."
"Yep," piped up Mike. 
"And just because Rodney's sick, that doesn't mean
we shouldn't earn our keep, now does it?"

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Pete's Thought of the day:

* "There is no power on earth that can neutralize the
influence of a high, pure, simple and useful life." - Booker T. Washington

Rae's Trivia.......

The first woman candidate for President of the United
States was American journalist Victoria Claflin Woodhull
 (1838-1927), nominated by National Woman's
Suffrage Association on the ticket of Nation Radical
Reformers, 1872.

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