Ready for a nice day??
Today, Sunny.... Highs in the mid 70s.
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~ Robyn leaves home for University and after several
weeks she turns up at home in quite a distressed state.
'Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice,'
she splutters.
'I did?' responds her father, 'What did I tell you?'
Well, you told me to put my money in that big bank,
and now that big bank is in serious trouble,'
explains Robyn sniffing.
'What are you talking about?
That's one of the largest banks in the whole country,'
he remarks, 'there must be some mistake.....'
'I don't think so,' Robyn interrupts,
'They just returned one of my cheques with a note
saying, "Insufficient Funds".
weeks she turns up at home in quite a distressed state.
'Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice,'
she splutters.
'I did?' responds her father, 'What did I tell you?'
Well, you told me to put my money in that big bank,
and now that big bank is in serious trouble,'
explains Robyn sniffing.
'What are you talking about?
That's one of the largest banks in the whole country,'
he remarks, 'there must be some mistake.....'
'I don't think so,' Robyn interrupts,
'They just returned one of my cheques with a note
saying, "Insufficient Funds".
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~ At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to
wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35.
Then I heard the voice on the public address system
saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta
Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."
So I picked up my luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.
Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us
that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35.
So, again,I gathered my carry-on luggage and returned
to the original gate.
Just as we were settling down, the public address voice
spoke again: "Thank you for participating in
Delta's physical fitness program.
wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35.
Then I heard the voice on the public address system
saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta
Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."
So I picked up my luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.
Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us
that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35.
So, again,I gathered my carry-on luggage and returned
to the original gate.
Just as we were settling down, the public address voice
spoke again: "Thank you for participating in
Delta's physical fitness program.
☼
~ A guy meets a childhood pal and asks....
"What are you doing with yourself these days?"
I'm a fireman.
Oh yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman.
"Well, if you want some good advice, you've got to
install in your house a pole that will go to the basement
so you kid can practice, 'cause the hardest thing for
a fireman is to jump off into space and catch that pole
in the middle of the night."
Ten years later, the two guys happen to meet again:
"Well, did your son become a fireman?"
"No, but I have two daughters who are exotic dancers."
"What are you doing with yourself these days?"
I'm a fireman.
Oh yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman.
"Well, if you want some good advice, you've got to
install in your house a pole that will go to the basement
so you kid can practice, 'cause the hardest thing for
a fireman is to jump off into space and catch that pole
in the middle of the night."
Ten years later, the two guys happen to meet again:
"Well, did your son become a fireman?"
"No, but I have two daughters who are exotic dancers."
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~ The Red Cross just knocked at our door and asked if
we could help towards the floods in Pakistan.
I said we would love to, but our garden hose only
reaches the driveway.
we could help towards the floods in Pakistan.
I said we would love to, but our garden hose only
reaches the driveway.
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~ He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything.
That points clearly to a political career.
That points clearly to a political career.
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~ I went up to a fat girl and asked her if she had a pen.
She said, "Yes, I do".
I told her, "Well you'd better get back in it before the
farmer notices you're missing."
She said, "Yes, I do".
I told her, "Well you'd better get back in it before the
farmer notices you're missing."
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~ a blonde's radio suddenly stops working .....
so she opens it up and finds a dead cockroach in it.....
she yells ...OMG the singer is dead....!
so she opens it up and finds a dead cockroach in it.....
she yells ...OMG the singer is dead....!
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* A 5th grader asked her mother the age-old question,
"How did I get here?"
Her mother told her, "God sent you."
"Did God send you, too?" asked the child.
"Yes Dear," the mother replied.
"What about Grandma and Grandpa?" the child
persisted.
"He sent them also," the mother said.
"Did he send their parents, too?" asked the child.
"Yes dear, he did," said the mother patiently.
"So you're telling me that there has been NO sex in
this family for 200 years?.
No wonder everyone's so damn grouchy around here."
"How did I get here?"
Her mother told her, "God sent you."
"Did God send you, too?" asked the child.
"Yes Dear," the mother replied.
"What about Grandma and Grandpa?" the child
persisted.
"He sent them also," the mother said.
"Did he send their parents, too?" asked the child.
"Yes dear, he did," said the mother patiently.
"So you're telling me that there has been NO sex in
this family for 200 years?.
No wonder everyone's so damn grouchy around here."
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Todays Thought:
* "It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up
to them." - Alfred Adler
to them." - Alfred Adler
Rae's Trivia....
Sarah Edmonds was one of many women who fought
in the U.S. Civil War in disguise as a man.
She became a Union spy, and later deserted to protect
her secret.
Edmonds revealed her true identity after the war in an
attempt to clear herself of the desertion charges and
gain a pension.
in the U.S. Civil War in disguise as a man.
She became a Union spy, and later deserted to protect
her secret.
Edmonds revealed her true identity after the war in an
attempt to clear herself of the desertion charges and
gain a pension.
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