Monday, September 19, 2011

Good Morning....Friends, and neighbors.
Todays weather; Patchy fog in the morning.
Mostly cloudy, Highs in the upper 60s.
All the Hummingbirds have left this part of
the country...


Few clouds yesterday morning....

No thanks... don't care to find out.....

Do you think the dishs are clean??

Damn, I gotta clean the freezer...
I thought I just cleaned it......

Damn, did you have too??
What did you eat?..

A Hippy Llama?....

Hi friend...Long time no see...
How yah been?...

Now thats gonna hurt.......

Yah, go ahead clamp down on it.....

Eno has a hard time....
life is leaving him behind....

Well, it's time to go....
my bus is here.....
♥♥♥

~  The husband comes home early from work and finds
his neighbour in bed with his wife.
 "I've looked after you for all these years, you creep!"
he shouted at his neighbour, "I've lent you money,
loaned you my car, after all I've done for you...
and stop doing that while I'm talking to you!"

~  Paddy and Mick were flying to Spain from Ireland in
a twin engine jet when the Captain came on the intecom
and said: "Ladies and Gentlemen one of the engines
has failed , but not to worry it's perfectly safe flying on ,
but it will take four hours longer to get there."
 Paddy turned to Mick and said:
"Yes and if the other one fails we'll be up here all
bloody day."

☼ 
~  Mummy balloon and Daddy balloon were asleep in
bed when baby balloon comes in and wants to get in
with them.
 He climbs up but there's not enough room to squeeze
in so he unknots daddy balloon's knot and lets some
air out....psssssssss!!! and reties the knot.
 A bit better he thinks ,but still not enough room.
So he unties Mummy balloon's knot lest some air out
and reties.
A lot better but still not QUITE enough room...
 So her unties his OWN knot and lets some air out ...
psssss.... and reties it.
 That is much better and soon drops off to sleep
between them.
 In the Morning daddy balloon says....
"Son, l am ashamed of you, you've not only let myself
and your Mother down, but you've let yourself down too!"

☼ 
~  “Paddy O’Ryan,” asked the chemist,
“Did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife
Bridget’s appearance?”
 “It did surely,” replied O’Ryan, “but it keeps fallin’ off!”


~  A wife was so jealous that when her
husband came home one night and she couldn’t find
hairs on his jackets she yelled at him,
“Great, so now you’re cheating on me with a bald woman!”
 The next night, when she didn’t smell any perfume,
she yelled again by saying, “She’s not only bald, but
she’s too cheap to buy any perfume!”

~  A man had two goldfish.
He named one of them "One" and the other "Two."
He did this because..
if one died, he'd still have two.

~  "Sir, I understand you admit to having broken into
the dress shop four times," the judge said.
 "Yes, Your Honor," the suspect replied.
 "What did you steal?" the judge asked.
 "I stole a dress, Your Honor," replied the suspect.
 "One dress?" the judge bellowed.
"But you have admitted to breaking in four times!"
 "Yes, Your Honor," sighed the suspect, "but the first
three times my wife didn't like the color!"

~  Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not
seeing one another for some time.
After inquiring about each other's health, one asked
how the other's husband was doing.
 "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to
dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and
dropped down dead right there in the middle of the
vegetable patch!"
 "Oh dear! I'm so very sorry," replied her friend.
"What did you do?"
"Opened a can of peas instead."

~  A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in
 New York City and orders a beer.
(In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald's
actually does serve beer.)
The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives
him the jab: "They don't serve BEER here, you MORON!"
 The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly turns
to the New Yorker with a surprised look, and begins to
chuckle.
 "And what's so funny?!?" the New Yorker demands.
"Oh, nothing really, I just realized that you came here
for the food."

☼ 
*  A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of
blood. 
Trying to make the matter clearer, he said:  "Now class,
if I stood on my head, the blood as you know, would run
into it and I should turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the class said.
 "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in an
ordinarty position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
 A class member shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

Todays Thought;
~ I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing
that keeps me out of the hamburger joints.
If I don't fight, I'll eat this planet. - George Foreman


Rae's Trivia....
The bandaging of a mummy took from 6 to 8 months.
It required a collection of special tools, including a long
metal hook that was used to draw the dead person’s
brains out through his nose.



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