Today we're having weather wise;
Cloudy with a 50 percent chance of showers.
Highs in the mid 70s. I've got 61º right now.....
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I wondered why the black helio's were circling overhead..
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Stop eating my plants!!
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Just going for the morning walk.....
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Sounds more like cat wailing to me..
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A pet pig?.. no thanks,
I'll stick with my outside cats...
Thank you!
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It's magic, alright!
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Is thayt all? more like 6-8.......
Time I was on my way....
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♥♥♥
~~ Gus and Pete, were discussing the amazing
advances in automotive technology.
"You know," said Pete, "cars are almost entirely run by
computer.
Pretty soon, more and more electric cars will be on the
market. And before long, for heaven's sake, they'll
probably come up with a biological car."
"We already have a biological car, Pete," said Gus.
"It's called a horse."
advances in automotive technology.
"You know," said Pete, "cars are almost entirely run by
computer.
Pretty soon, more and more electric cars will be on the
market. And before long, for heaven's sake, they'll
probably come up with a biological car."
"We already have a biological car, Pete," said Gus.
"It's called a horse."
☼
~~ If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know
which one is the American Football player?
The one in the sugar bowl!
which one is the American Football player?
The one in the sugar bowl!
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~~ "Hey, how come there isn't any more hot water?"
Walt asked, after taking a shower.
His sixteen-year-old son Mark said, "It's my fault.
I took three showers today, one after working out,
another after mowing the yard, and a third one
because I have a date with Angie tonight."
"Well," said Walt, "Can you cut down on the number
of showers you take?"
"No problem, Dad.
I'll start taking my showers over at Angie's."
Walt asked, after taking a shower.
His sixteen-year-old son Mark said, "It's my fault.
I took three showers today, one after working out,
another after mowing the yard, and a third one
because I have a date with Angie tonight."
"Well," said Walt, "Can you cut down on the number
of showers you take?"
"No problem, Dad.
I'll start taking my showers over at Angie's."
☼
~~ A man, accompanied by his wife, stopped at the
border crossing where I am a Customs inspector.
He was under the mistaken belief that if he claimed half
of their combined purchases, he'd pay less duty.
I explained I could include both names on one
document, expediting the process, but he became
rather belligerent and insisted he wanted his own
receipts.Resigned, I began calculating the duty.
The origin of the goods can significantly affect the duty,
especially on shoes, clothing and textiles, and as I read
the man's first item, I asked:
"Do you know where your brassiere was made, sir?"
border crossing where I am a Customs inspector.
He was under the mistaken belief that if he claimed half
of their combined purchases, he'd pay less duty.
I explained I could include both names on one
document, expediting the process, but he became
rather belligerent and insisted he wanted his own
receipts.Resigned, I began calculating the duty.
The origin of the goods can significantly affect the duty,
especially on shoes, clothing and textiles, and as I read
the man's first item, I asked:
"Do you know where your brassiere was made, sir?"
☼
~~ If you suffer from pogonophobia you'd best not be
around men with hair on their face.
That's the word to describe a fear of men wearing a
beard.
around men with hair on their face.
That's the word to describe a fear of men wearing a
beard.
☼
~~ Since my 13-year-old daughter, Janice, and
15-year-old son seldom showed interest in things from
the '70s, I was curious as to why they were watching
something from that era on TV.
"We're starting to study Greece at school,"
Janice told me, "and my girlfriend just called and said
this show was about it."
I was pleased, but puzzled by what I was actually
seeing.
It was about ten minutes before I realised they were
watching the movie 'Grease'.
15-year-old son seldom showed interest in things from
the '70s, I was curious as to why they were watching
something from that era on TV.
"We're starting to study Greece at school,"
Janice told me, "and my girlfriend just called and said
this show was about it."
I was pleased, but puzzled by what I was actually
seeing.
It was about ten minutes before I realised they were
watching the movie 'Grease'.
☼
~~ While I was visiting my mother, my brother called.
He couldn't get his secondhand clothes dryer to work.
He had tested it before buying and had been satisfied
that it was a worthwhile purchase.
My mother made several suggestions, but nothing
seemed to work.
Then my wife, sitting across the room, asked if the dryer
door was open.
Mom passed the question along, and her grin provided
the answer.
My brother quickly said good-bye and hung up.
~~ While I was visiting my mother, my brother called.
He couldn't get his secondhand clothes dryer to work.
He had tested it before buying and had been satisfied
that it was a worthwhile purchase.
My mother made several suggestions, but nothing
seemed to work.
Then my wife, sitting across the room, asked if the dryer
door was open.
Mom passed the question along, and her grin provided
the answer.
My brother quickly said good-bye and hung up.
☼
~ A nursery school driver was delivering a van full
of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started discussing the dog’s duties.
‘They use him to keep crowds back,’ said Tommy.
‘No,’ said Billy, ‘he’s just for good luck.’
Peter brought the argument to a close.
‘They use the dogs, he said firmly, to find the fire
hydrants….'
of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started discussing the dog’s duties.
‘They use him to keep crowds back,’ said Tommy.
‘No,’ said Billy, ‘he’s just for good luck.’
Peter brought the argument to a close.
‘They use the dogs, he said firmly, to find the fire
hydrants….'
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Todays thought:
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex,
and rich food.
He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.
Johnny Carson
and rich food.
He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.
Johnny Carson
Rae's Trivia....
Fish scales are used to brighten eye shadow, nail polish,
and lipstick.
So if something’s a little fishy about the gal you’re
kissing...
and lipstick.
So if something’s a little fishy about the gal you’re
kissing...
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