Today will be Mostly sunny. Patchy drizzle in the morning.
Highs in the upper 60s. Northeast winds 5 to 10 mph.
I'm reading 53ยบ right now.....
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A nice sunrise....for a Sunday Morning.....
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This is called a "Hummingbird cake.....
Don't it look good??
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I think someone needs a shave....
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Friends......
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No...you can't have my Booze!!....
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How you like my Cheap slippers??
Cool huh.....
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Yeah...what's the matter with you?..
You ain't right......
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Tornados are hard on houses and cars.....
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You'll do what??
I don't think so......
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Well, I got to get gone....
See you Later.....
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♥♥♥
~ A Redneck enters a hospital to have a minor
operation.
A nurse begins to take down his information: name,
insurance company, etc.
"In case of emergency, whom should we notify?"
"You mean if I become very sick?"
"Well . . . yes."
"If that happens, call a doctor!"
operation.
A nurse begins to take down his information: name,
insurance company, etc.
"In case of emergency, whom should we notify?"
"You mean if I become very sick?"
"Well . . . yes."
"If that happens, call a doctor!"
☼
~ Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale
and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is
placed?
and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is
placed?
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~ On electric toasters, why do they engrave the
message “one slice?”
How many pieces of bread do they think people are
really gonna try to stuff in that slot?
message “one slice?”
How many pieces of bread do they think people are
really gonna try to stuff in that slot?
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~ A man gets pulled over by the police for speeding.
The cop walks up to the car and says to the driver,
“Sir, did you know that you were going 60 miles an hour?
" The driver says, "Officer, there is no way I could have
been going 60 miles an hour!"
The cop says, “Really! Why is that?
The driver replies," I could not have been going 60 miles
an hour because I've only been out driving for 25
minutes."
The cop walks up to the car and says to the driver,
“Sir, did you know that you were going 60 miles an hour?
" The driver says, "Officer, there is no way I could have
been going 60 miles an hour!"
The cop says, “Really! Why is that?
The driver replies," I could not have been going 60 miles
an hour because I've only been out driving for 25
minutes."
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~ A husband and wife were driving down a country lane
on their way to visit some friends.
They came to a muddy patch in the road, and the car
became bogged.
After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by
themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the
lane, driving some oxen before him.
He stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and
offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50.
The husband accepted, and minutes later, the car was
free.
The farmer turned to the husband and said,
"You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the
mud today."
The husband looks around at the fields, incredulously,
and asks the farmer, "When do you have time to plough
your land?..... At night?
"No," the young farmer replied, seriously.
"Night is when I put the water in the hole."
on their way to visit some friends.
They came to a muddy patch in the road, and the car
became bogged.
After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by
themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the
lane, driving some oxen before him.
He stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and
offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50.
The husband accepted, and minutes later, the car was
free.
The farmer turned to the husband and said,
"You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the
mud today."
The husband looks around at the fields, incredulously,
and asks the farmer, "When do you have time to plough
your land?..... At night?
"No," the young farmer replied, seriously.
"Night is when I put the water in the hole."
☼
~ My dad sat me down and brought the laptop in
and said, "Son, I think it's time to talk to you about
pornography."
"What about it?" I replied.
"How the hell can I get past the filters without your
mom knowing?"
and said, "Son, I think it's time to talk to you about
pornography."
"What about it?" I replied.
"How the hell can I get past the filters without your
mom knowing?"
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* "Me Want coffee."
The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto!"
We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday.
What was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says "Training for position
in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee,
shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up.
Disappear for rest of the day."
The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto!"
We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday.
What was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says "Training for position
in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee,
shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up.
Disappear for rest of the day."
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* Soon after my son, a Marine, was deployed to
Afghanistan, he called and spent much of the time
describing the abject poverty of the people who lived
there.
When he calmed down, I asked what I thought was a
simple question: "What time is it there now?"
That set him off again.
"I'm ten and a half hours ahead of you," he replied.
"That's how poor this country is.
It can't even afford a full time zone."
Afghanistan, he called and spent much of the time
describing the abject poverty of the people who lived
there.
When he calmed down, I asked what I thought was a
simple question: "What time is it there now?"
That set him off again.
"I'm ten and a half hours ahead of you," he replied.
"That's how poor this country is.
It can't even afford a full time zone."
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* One day, after a man had his annual physical, the
doctor came out and said, "You had a great checkup.
Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?"
"Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a
vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision.
Have you talked it over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favor 15 to 2."
doctor came out and said, "You had a great checkup.
Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?"
"Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a
vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision.
Have you talked it over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favor 15 to 2."
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* I was at the emergency room for a sports-related
injury, and in answer to a question on the form I was
given, I replied that I had a serious allergy.
The nurse put a plastic band on my wrist, and I sat down
in the crowded waiting room.
The lady seated next to me glanced at my wrist,
shock registering on her face, and then quickly moved
away from me.
Surprised, I looked at the band for the first time.
It read, "NUTS."
injury, and in answer to a question on the form I was
given, I replied that I had a serious allergy.
The nurse put a plastic band on my wrist, and I sat down
in the crowded waiting room.
The lady seated next to me glanced at my wrist,
shock registering on her face, and then quickly moved
away from me.
Surprised, I looked at the band for the first time.
It read, "NUTS."
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Thought for today....
October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months
to speculate in stocks.
Other dangerous months are July, January, September,
April, November, May, March, June, December,
August and February. - Mark Twain
to speculate in stocks.
Other dangerous months are July, January, September,
April, November, May, March, June, December,
August and February. - Mark Twain
Rae's Trivia....
Scientists have developed a wound dressing that emits
a pinkish glow under ultraviolet light to indicate that an
infection has developed.
The dressing has special molecules that bind to bacteria
and activate a fluorescent dye.
Whereas the current process for testing a wound for
bacterial infection involves laboratory tests and can
take days, this gel could alert doctors to the presence of
bacteria in just hours.
a pinkish glow under ultraviolet light to indicate that an
infection has developed.
The dressing has special molecules that bind to bacteria
and activate a fluorescent dye.
Whereas the current process for testing a wound for
bacterial infection involves laboratory tests and can
take days, this gel could alert doctors to the presence of
bacteria in just hours.
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