Today we're having, Patchy fog in the morning.
Partly sunny in the morning... then mostly cloudy
with a slight chance of showers and thunderstorms
in the afternoon. Highs in the upper 80s.
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First we get some "Kryptonite.....
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I wanted to go out....
But the roads were "tied up"....
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I take it, you don't like having your picture taken....
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What do you mean, I don't look "Too Bright?"
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I would need a job pretty bad to dress like this....
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What can I say??
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A real steal....Huh ?
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No thanks... I'll stick with my Timex...
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I have nothing to say........
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Didn't work out......
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Yep, Happy Sunday.....
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♥♥♥
~ The President ordered the cabinet....
to cut $100 million from the $3.5 trillion federal budget.
I'm so impressed by this sacrifice that I have decided
to do the same thing with my personal budget.
I spend about $2000 a month on groceries, household
expenses, medicine, utilities, etc, but it's time to get out the budget
cutting axe, go through my expenses, and cut back.
I'm going to cut my spending at exactly the same ratio,
1/35,000 of my total budget.
After doing the math, it looks like instead of spending
$2000 a month; I'm going to have to cut that number
by six cents.
Yes, I'm going to have to get by with $1999.94,
but that's what sacrifice is all about.
I'll just have to do without some things, that are,
frankly, luxuries.
(Did the president actually think no one would do the
math?) John Q. Taxpayer .
to cut $100 million from the $3.5 trillion federal budget.
I'm so impressed by this sacrifice that I have decided
to do the same thing with my personal budget.
I spend about $2000 a month on groceries, household
expenses, medicine, utilities, etc, but it's time to get out the budget
cutting axe, go through my expenses, and cut back.
I'm going to cut my spending at exactly the same ratio,
1/35,000 of my total budget.
After doing the math, it looks like instead of spending
$2000 a month; I'm going to have to cut that number
by six cents.
Yes, I'm going to have to get by with $1999.94,
but that's what sacrifice is all about.
I'll just have to do without some things, that are,
frankly, luxuries.
(Did the president actually think no one would do the
math?) John Q. Taxpayer .
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~ There are two kinds of people.
Those who wake up in the morning and say,
"Good morning, Lord," and those who wake up in the
morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."
~ There are two kinds of people.
Those who wake up in the morning and say,
"Good morning, Lord," and those who wake up in the
morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."
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~ Pete was considering purchasing an old thoroughbred
horse but wanted a veterinarian’s opinion of the horse
before finalizing the deal.
When the vet had completed his examination Pete
asked, “Will I be able to race him?”
The veterinarian looked at Pete, then at the horse.
“Sure,” he replied, “and you would probably win!”
horse but wanted a veterinarian’s opinion of the horse
before finalizing the deal.
When the vet had completed his examination Pete
asked, “Will I be able to race him?”
The veterinarian looked at Pete, then at the horse.
“Sure,” he replied, “and you would probably win!”
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~ There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for
fixing machines.
After serving his company loyally for over 30 years,
he happily retired.
But several years later they contacted him regarding a
seemingly impossible problem they were having with
one of their multimillion dollar machines.
They had tried everything, but to no avail.
The engineer reluctantly took on the challenge.
He spent a day studying the huge machine.
At the end of the day he marked a small X in chalk on a
particular component of the machine and proudly stated,
This is where your problem is!
The part was replaced and the machine worked
perfectly again.
The company received a bill for $50,000 from the
engineer for his services .
They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly:
One chalk mark: $1.
Knowing where to put it: $49,999.
fixing machines.
After serving his company loyally for over 30 years,
he happily retired.
But several years later they contacted him regarding a
seemingly impossible problem they were having with
one of their multimillion dollar machines.
They had tried everything, but to no avail.
The engineer reluctantly took on the challenge.
He spent a day studying the huge machine.
At the end of the day he marked a small X in chalk on a
particular component of the machine and proudly stated,
This is where your problem is!
The part was replaced and the machine worked
perfectly again.
The company received a bill for $50,000 from the
engineer for his services .
They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly:
One chalk mark: $1.
Knowing where to put it: $49,999.
☼
~ Elmer went over to see Clem at his farm.
When he looked in the barn he saw Clem dancing in
front of his John Deere in high heels and very revealing
under garments.
Elmer asked him what the hell he was doing.
Clem said,"Well you know me and Emma ain't been
getting on too good lately and when I talked to a
marriage counselor I was told I should do something
sexy to a tractor."
When he looked in the barn he saw Clem dancing in
front of his John Deere in high heels and very revealing
under garments.
Elmer asked him what the hell he was doing.
Clem said,"Well you know me and Emma ain't been
getting on too good lately and when I talked to a
marriage counselor I was told I should do something
sexy to a tractor."
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~ The Big Question.....
My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept
with?"
I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling.
With all the others I stayed awake."
Hospital Visiting Hours are 10 AM to 8 PM.
My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept
with?"
I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling.
With all the others I stayed awake."
Hospital Visiting Hours are 10 AM to 8 PM.
☼
~ A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of
the little girl's grandmother.
On their way through the cemetary back to the car,
the little girl asked: "Mommy, do they ever bury two
people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear." replied the mother,
"Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said
'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
the little girl's grandmother.
On their way through the cemetary back to the car,
the little girl asked: "Mommy, do they ever bury two
people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear." replied the mother,
"Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said
'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
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~ Q: Why did the blonde fail her driving test?
A: Because she was not used to being in the front seat.
A: Because she was not used to being in the front seat.
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~ A well-off bloke decided to go into business for
himself.
He fancied owning a pub, so he searched until he found
one for sale in a small village.
Unfortunately, the pub was very old and the foundation
was crooked.
It would cost too much to fix.
So the new owner decided to knock it down and build a
new one.
He hired a bulldozer and cleared all the debris.
Then he spent a lot of time hauling in dirt, building it up
and leveling it for the new foundation.
Some village folks were out watching him work.
"What is that bloke doing?" asked a passerby.
A villager replied........ "He's razing the bar to a new level."
himself.
He fancied owning a pub, so he searched until he found
one for sale in a small village.
Unfortunately, the pub was very old and the foundation
was crooked.
It would cost too much to fix.
So the new owner decided to knock it down and build a
new one.
He hired a bulldozer and cleared all the debris.
Then he spent a lot of time hauling in dirt, building it up
and leveling it for the new foundation.
Some village folks were out watching him work.
"What is that bloke doing?" asked a passerby.
A villager replied........ "He's razing the bar to a new level."
(even I had to Groan at that one..)
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Todays Thought:
God put the firewood here,
but that every man must gather and light it himself.
but that every man must gather and light it himself.
Rae's Trivia,,,,,
The historic notebooks in which Marie and Pierre Curie
recorded their experiments on radium,
nearly a century ago, are still radioactive.
recorded their experiments on radium,
nearly a century ago, are still radioactive.
I've often wondered if people like Marie and Pierre Curie knew the dangers they were putting themselves into whether we would have half of the advancements that we have today Their notebooks will be radioactive for a few years yet, radium has a half life of 1601 years
ReplyDeleteRae x