Good Morning, Friends....
Having a good Holiday weekend?
Today's Weather.....
Showers likely with a slight chance of thunderstormsin the morning...then showers with a chance of
thunderstorms in the afternoon.
Highs in the upper 70s. South winds 5 to 10 mph...
Chance of rain 90 percent.
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I don't think the Hummingbirds will be around much longer.
I'm not having to fill the feeders a third as much...
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Thanks... I will....
You just want some snack birdies....
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Friends until the food comes... then look out.....
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Sorry Bubba, theys not Jordans.....
Theys Walmart...$19.95...
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Yeah, right.... Just wait til Mom gets home....
Your Butts will be outside....
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Yep...I thought it was.....
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Hey...Thats looks like a nice ride....
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I don't know what to say.....
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I don't care what you say...
Them cats are going outside.....
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Welcome to the Hate Mondays club.....
I'm gonna lay back down....
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♥♥♥
~ Pete was working on an old sewing machine.
He ordered a part, No. 669, from the factory.
When it arrived, He noticed they sent him part 699
instead.
So he fired off an angry letter and sent it back.
A few days later, He got the replacement.
It was the same part, along with a note containing these
four words: "Turn the box over."
He ordered a part, No. 669, from the factory.
When it arrived, He noticed they sent him part 699
instead.
So he fired off an angry letter and sent it back.
A few days later, He got the replacement.
It was the same part, along with a note containing these
four words: "Turn the box over."
☼
~ The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes
practices.
These companies target the elderly and make them
think they will receive a bunch of money,
but in reality they never see any of it.
The most popular of these scams is called
Social Security.
practices.
These companies target the elderly and make them
think they will receive a bunch of money,
but in reality they never see any of it.
The most popular of these scams is called
Social Security.
☼
~ During halftime at a UVA- NC game, two opposing
fans were in the bathroom.
The UVA man was washing his hands when the NC man
walked past him without washing up.
The UVA man followed the NC man
out and said to him, "You know, at UVA they taught us
to wash our hands after going to the bathroom."
To which the NC man replied snidely,
"Well, at NC they taught us not to pee on our hands."
fans were in the bathroom.
The UVA man was washing his hands when the NC man
walked past him without washing up.
The UVA man followed the NC man
out and said to him, "You know, at UVA they taught us
to wash our hands after going to the bathroom."
To which the NC man replied snidely,
"Well, at NC they taught us not to pee on our hands."
☼
~ 2 blondes go to the zoo.
They come upon the alligators and see a sign.
The first blonde reads it " it says they can grow up to
14 feet" She tells her friend.
The other blonde replies "
What a gyp all these have are 4.....
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~ At a university job fair, I bumped into one of my
school's guidance counselors.
"I can't seem to find a career that intrigues me," I said.
"What are your interests?" he asked.
"I like to take things apart," I said, "but I hate putting
them back together."
"Son," replied the advisor,
"you ought to consider being president."
school's guidance counselors.
"I can't seem to find a career that intrigues me," I said.
"What are your interests?" he asked.
"I like to take things apart," I said, "but I hate putting
them back together."
"Son," replied the advisor,
"you ought to consider being president."
☼
~ A golfer set up his ball on the first tee,
took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees.
He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees
he thought he could hit through.
Taking out his 3-wood, he took another mighty swing;
the ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead
and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter saw
him coming and asked, "Are you a good golfer?"
The man replied, "Got here in two, didn't I?"
took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees.
He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees
he thought he could hit through.
Taking out his 3-wood, he took another mighty swing;
the ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead
and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter saw
him coming and asked, "Are you a good golfer?"
The man replied, "Got here in two, didn't I?"
☼
~ Apple has brought out a new app Men Vs. Women..
it's called the:
iDo.....
it's called the:
iDo.....
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~ A couple I know were at my house, I had a few friends
over.
The couple told us that they have 4 sons and needed
advice on how to get a daughter.
Friend#1: Keep trying!
Friend#2: Change your Doctor!
Friend#3: Follow a special diet.
Friend#4: Practice yoga!
But apparently my "Let me try" wasn't very good advice.
over.
The couple told us that they have 4 sons and needed
advice on how to get a daughter.
Friend#1: Keep trying!
Friend#2: Change your Doctor!
Friend#3: Follow a special diet.
Friend#4: Practice yoga!
But apparently my "Let me try" wasn't very good advice.
☼
~ A husband was with his wife when she decided to buy
something at an exclusive lingerie shop.
Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place when
a beautiful clerk asked if she could help him.
In a cocky manner, he asked, "Where are all the men's
clothes?"
In a demure voice the clerk replied,
"All of these clothes are for men, sir."
something at an exclusive lingerie shop.
Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place when
a beautiful clerk asked if she could help him.
In a cocky manner, he asked, "Where are all the men's
clothes?"
In a demure voice the clerk replied,
"All of these clothes are for men, sir."
☼
~ My sister, went to the department store to check
out the bridal registry of our niece whose wedding was
coming up soon.
When my sister returned from the store, she tossed the
gift list on a table and declared,
“I think she’s too young to get married.”
“Why do you say that?” I asked.
“Because,” she said, “they registered for Nintendo
games.”
~ My sister, went to the department store to check
out the bridal registry of our niece whose wedding was
coming up soon.
When my sister returned from the store, she tossed the
gift list on a table and declared,
“I think she’s too young to get married.”
“Why do you say that?” I asked.
“Because,” she said, “they registered for Nintendo
games.”
☼
~ One Sunday our priest announced he was passing
out miniature crosses made of palm leaves.
"Put this cross in the room where your family argues
most," he advised.
"When you look at it, the cross will remind you that God
is watching."
As I was leaving church, the woman in front of me
walked up to the priest, shook his hand and said,
"I'll take five."
out miniature crosses made of palm leaves.
"Put this cross in the room where your family argues
most," he advised.
"When you look at it, the cross will remind you that God
is watching."
As I was leaving church, the woman in front of me
walked up to the priest, shook his hand and said,
"I'll take five."
☼
~ I got a new dog.
He's a paranoid retriever.
He brings back everything because he's not sure what
I threw him.
He's a paranoid retriever.
He brings back everything because he's not sure what
I threw him.
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Todays Thought:
"The hottest places in hell are reserved for those,
who in times of moral crisis, do nothing." - Dante Alighieri
who in times of moral crisis, do nothing." - Dante Alighieri
Rae's Trivia....
The brain is surrounded by a membrane containing veins
and arteries.
This membrane is filled with nerves of feeling.
However, the brain itself has no feeling; if it is cut with
a scalpel, the person feels no pain.
and arteries.
This membrane is filled with nerves of feeling.
However, the brain itself has no feeling; if it is cut with
a scalpel, the person feels no pain.
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