Today's forecast....
Cloudy with a slight chance of showers in the morning...
then partly sunny with a chance of showers
and thunderstorms in the afternoon.
Highs around 80..... Chance of rain 50 percent.
67ยบ right now.......
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Sure I know what day this is....do you??
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Don't look like a Hamster....Bubba!!
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Time to go four wheelin...
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What can I say.. I don't hear too good either....
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Damn, that is why my pizza tasted funny.......
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Keeping my mouth shut......
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Don't you like strawberrys??
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Thanks, but I no got fifty bucks...
Will you take ten??
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Time to leave....see you in the morning.....
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♥♥♥
* Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows
have Bluetongue.
"Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didn't even know they had
mobile phones!"
have Bluetongue.
"Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didn't even know they had
mobile phones!"
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* Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than
the speed of light.
This means that if you turn on a light switch,
you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
the speed of light.
This means that if you turn on a light switch,
you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
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* A woman phoned her dentist when she received a
huge bill.
“I’m shocked!” she complained.
“This is three times what you normally charge.”
“Yes, I know,” said the dentist.
“But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other
patients.”
huge bill.
“I’m shocked!” she complained.
“This is three times what you normally charge.”
“Yes, I know,” said the dentist.
“But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other
patients.”
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* Q. Why do UVA graduates hang their diplomas from
their rear view mirror?
A. So they can use handicapped parking.
their rear view mirror?
A. So they can use handicapped parking.
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* A man dies and goes to heaven when Peter meets him
at the Pearly Gates.
Peter says, “You need 1000 points to make it into
heaven.
You tell me all of the good things you’ve done, and I
give you a certain number of points for each item.
When you reach 1000 points, you get in.”
“Okay,” the man says, “I was happily married to the
same woman for fifty years and never cheated on her,
not even in my mind.”
“That’s wonderful,” says Peter, “that’s worth two points!”
“Two points?” he says.
“Well, I attended church all my life and gave my ten
percent tithe faithfully.”
“Terrific!” says Peter. “That’s definitely worth a point.”
“One point? My goodness!
Well, what about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city
and worked in a shelter for the homeless?”
“Fantastic, that’s good for two more points,” he says.
“TWO POINTS!” the man cries. “At this rate the only way
I can get into heaven is by the grace of God!”
“Now that’s what we’re looking for!..... Come on in!”
at the Pearly Gates.
Peter says, “You need 1000 points to make it into
heaven.
You tell me all of the good things you’ve done, and I
give you a certain number of points for each item.
When you reach 1000 points, you get in.”
“Okay,” the man says, “I was happily married to the
same woman for fifty years and never cheated on her,
not even in my mind.”
“That’s wonderful,” says Peter, “that’s worth two points!”
“Two points?” he says.
“Well, I attended church all my life and gave my ten
percent tithe faithfully.”
“Terrific!” says Peter. “That’s definitely worth a point.”
“One point? My goodness!
Well, what about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city
and worked in a shelter for the homeless?”
“Fantastic, that’s good for two more points,” he says.
“TWO POINTS!” the man cries. “At this rate the only way
I can get into heaven is by the grace of God!”
“Now that’s what we’re looking for!..... Come on in!”
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* Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
To get to the other tide!
To get to the other tide!
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* My wife woke me up this morning by screaming
hysterically at our son's crib.
I'd forgotten to mention that I'd dressed him up as a
Smurf before bedtime.
hysterically at our son's crib.
I'd forgotten to mention that I'd dressed him up as a
Smurf before bedtime.
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* We had a power cut at home last night.
So, instead of a night of TV, the wife and I spent the time
chatting.
It was a real eye opener - I'm off to buy a back-up
generator today.
So, instead of a night of TV, the wife and I spent the time
chatting.
It was a real eye opener - I'm off to buy a back-up
generator today.
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* A Chinese man has died in a river in Beijing....
Police say that he may have been saved if the first 5
people to see him hadn't thought they were looking at
their reflection.
Police say that he may have been saved if the first 5
people to see him hadn't thought they were looking at
their reflection.
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Todays Thought:
•When I was young I was called a rugged individualist.
When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric.
Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then
and I'm labeled senile. --- George Burns
When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric.
Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then
and I'm labeled senile. --- George Burns
Rae's Trivia.....
Well-dressed ladies in Europe went wild over wearing
lightning rods on their hats and trailing a long ground
wire a fad that began after Benjamin Franklin published
instructions on how to make them in his almanac
Poor Richard Improved in 1753.
lightning rods on their hats and trailing a long ground
wire a fad that began after Benjamin Franklin published
instructions on how to make them in his almanac
Poor Richard Improved in 1753.
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