Today we will have Showers...
Highs in the lower 70s.
Chance of rain 80 percent.
67º now....
☼
What?.. Your buns are cold?
We can't have cold buns, now can we?
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I see the guard dog is guardian...
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I have an open mind.....
to a point.......
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I don't understand baby talk....
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Yes it could be...
The door could have been left open....
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Looks like he's gonna blow something up...
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Don't like Squirrel, thank you, just the same....
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That looks to be the case.......
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The only one making money now....
But there is still a lot in D.C. ...
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♥♥♥
~ A bloke runs into a pet shop, puts a bomb on the
counter and says "Everyone's got 30 seconds to get
out before this explodes"
A tortoise at the back of the shop shouts "Oh, Chit!"
counter and says "Everyone's got 30 seconds to get
out before this explodes"
A tortoise at the back of the shop shouts "Oh, Chit!"
☼
~ School lunches are not generally popular with those
that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.
"What kind of pie do you call this ?" asked one
schoolboy indignantly.
"What's it taste of ?" asked the cook.
"Glue!".....
"Then it's apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap."
that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.
"What kind of pie do you call this ?" asked one
schoolboy indignantly.
"What's it taste of ?" asked the cook.
"Glue!".....
"Then it's apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap."
☼
~ A college student needed a small two-hour course to
fill his schedule and the only one available was
wildlife Zoology.
After one week, a test was held.
The professor passed out a sheet of paper divided into
four squares.
In each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's
legs. No bodies, no feet, just legs.
The test asked each student to identify the birds from
their legs.
The student sat and stared at the test getting angrier
every minute.
Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and
threw the test on the teacher's desk.
"This is the worst test I have ever been given."
The teacher looked up and said:
"Young man, you have flunked the test.
What's your name?"
The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his
legs and said: "You tell me"
fill his schedule and the only one available was
wildlife Zoology.
After one week, a test was held.
The professor passed out a sheet of paper divided into
four squares.
In each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's
legs. No bodies, no feet, just legs.
The test asked each student to identify the birds from
their legs.
The student sat and stared at the test getting angrier
every minute.
Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and
threw the test on the teacher's desk.
"This is the worst test I have ever been given."
The teacher looked up and said:
"Young man, you have flunked the test.
What's your name?"
The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his
legs and said: "You tell me"
☼
~ Did you hear about the psychic amnesiac?
He knew in advance what he was going to forget.
He knew in advance what he was going to forget.
☼
~ A man walks past a beggar every day going to work,
and gives him $5 and that Continues for a year.
Then suddenly the daily donation changes to$3.50.
" Well," the beggar thinks, " it's still better than
nothing."
A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation
suddenly becomes $1.00.
" What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor."
First you give me $5.00 every day, then $3.50 and now
only R$1.00.
What's the problem?"
" Well," the man says, " last year my eldest son went
to university.
It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs.
This year my eldest daughter also went to university,
so I had to cut my expenses even further ."
" And how many children do you have?" the beggar
asks.
" Four," the man replies.
" Well," says the beggar, " I hope you don't plan to
educate them all at my expense."
and gives him $5 and that Continues for a year.
Then suddenly the daily donation changes to$3.50.
" Well," the beggar thinks, " it's still better than
nothing."
A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation
suddenly becomes $1.00.
" What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor."
First you give me $5.00 every day, then $3.50 and now
only R$1.00.
What's the problem?"
" Well," the man says, " last year my eldest son went
to university.
It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs.
This year my eldest daughter also went to university,
so I had to cut my expenses even further ."
" And how many children do you have?" the beggar
asks.
" Four," the man replies.
" Well," says the beggar, " I hope you don't plan to
educate them all at my expense."
☼
~ Did you hear about the new restaurant that just
opened up on the moon?
Great food, but no atmosphere.
opened up on the moon?
Great food, but no atmosphere.
☼
~ The "Who Is Your Real Friend Test".......
THIS REALLY WORKS!
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment
Step 1 - Put your dog and your spouse in the trunk of
the car for 1 hour.
Step 2 - Open the trunk after the time is up.
Which one is really happy to see you?
THIS REALLY WORKS!
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment
Step 1 - Put your dog and your spouse in the trunk of
the car for 1 hour.
Step 2 - Open the trunk after the time is up.
Which one is really happy to see you?
☼
~ I went into a Hallmark card shop today.
I said to the woman behind the counter, "Do you sell
bereavement cards?"
She said, "Yes, sir."
So I said, "Could I exchange one for this get well
soon card I bought yesterday?
I said to the woman behind the counter, "Do you sell
bereavement cards?"
She said, "Yes, sir."
So I said, "Could I exchange one for this get well
soon card I bought yesterday?
☼
☼
Thought for the Day;
"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile hoping it
will eat him last!" - Sir Winston Churchill
will eat him last!" - Sir Winston Churchill
Rae;s Trivia....
A shrewdness of apes
A troop of baboons
A shoal of bass
A sleuth or sloth of bears
A sounder of boars
An army of caterpillars
A clowder or clutter of cats
A brood or peep of chickens
A clutch or chattering of chicks
A troop of baboons
A shoal of bass
A sleuth or sloth of bears
A sounder of boars
An army of caterpillars
A clowder or clutter of cats
A brood or peep of chickens
A clutch or chattering of chicks
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