Partly sunny...... Today.
A slight chance of showers in the morning.
Highs in the mid 80s. South winds 5 to 10 mph. .
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Yesterdays Sunrise..
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These guys just getting up....
Wanting breakfast......
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What?? didn't fix breakfast??
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Very true.....
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Now this is a cool bike......
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Oh, No.... You've kept him in the car too long....
I'm glad I don't have to ride in the car...
Ewwwww...
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The cat thinks it's not funny.....
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Oh,,, Facebook can't wait....
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Now that is easy.......
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I just don't know about this picture....
Something's not right......
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Well, my planes here, so I gotta go......
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♥♥♥
~ When God, who created the entire universe with all of
its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity,
He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable
TV with a bad hairstyle.
its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity,
He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable
TV with a bad hairstyle.
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~ The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote
section of West Virginia.
An old mountaineer and his young wife were getting a
divorce in the local court, but custody of the children
was a problem.
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the
judge that since she had brought the children into this
world, she should retain custody of them.
The old mountaineer also wanted custody of the children.
The judge asked for his side of the story and,
after a long moment of silence, the mountaineer slowly
rose from his chair and said, "Judge, when I put a
quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out,
does it belong to me or the machine?"
section of West Virginia.
An old mountaineer and his young wife were getting a
divorce in the local court, but custody of the children
was a problem.
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the
judge that since she had brought the children into this
world, she should retain custody of them.
The old mountaineer also wanted custody of the children.
The judge asked for his side of the story and,
after a long moment of silence, the mountaineer slowly
rose from his chair and said, "Judge, when I put a
quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out,
does it belong to me or the machine?"
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~ A dying granny tells her granddaughter,
"I want to leave you my farm.
That includes the villa, the tractor, and other equipment,
the farmhouse and $22,398,750.78 in cash."
The granddaughter, about to become rich says,
"Oh granny, you are so generous.
I didn't even know you had a farm.
Where is it?".
With her last breath, granny whispered, "Facebook..."
~ A dying granny tells her granddaughter,
"I want to leave you my farm.
That includes the villa, the tractor, and other equipment,
the farmhouse and $22,398,750.78 in cash."
The granddaughter, about to become rich says,
"Oh granny, you are so generous.
I didn't even know you had a farm.
Where is it?".
With her last breath, granny whispered, "Facebook..."
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~ A blonde is on board a small two-seater airplane
when suddenly the pilot dies.
Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio.
"Mayday, mayday!... My pilot just died!"
Ground control received her call for help and answers
back: "Don't worry, madam.
I'll talk you down, just do as I say.
First I need you to give me your height and position."
"I'm 5"2' and sitting in the right front seat."
Ground control: "Repeat after me: Our Father.....
which art in Heaven.... "
when suddenly the pilot dies.
Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio.
"Mayday, mayday!... My pilot just died!"
Ground control received her call for help and answers
back: "Don't worry, madam.
I'll talk you down, just do as I say.
First I need you to give me your height and position."
"I'm 5"2' and sitting in the right front seat."
Ground control: "Repeat after me: Our Father.....
which art in Heaven.... "
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~ Q: How do you find Texas?
A: Go west until you smell manure.
That's Oklahoma.
Then go south until you step in manure.
That's Texas.
A: Go west until you smell manure.
That's Oklahoma.
Then go south until you step in manure.
That's Texas.
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~ Where else in the world could a group of goverment
reps go on vacation and then come back and ask for a
raise from those who are broke?
Ya, think they need a rise?
reps go on vacation and then come back and ask for a
raise from those who are broke?
Ya, think they need a rise?
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~ A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is
too farfrom the stage.
He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have
to watch a mystery close up.
Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher moves him into the second row, and the man
hands the usher a quarter...... Yep. 25 cents.
The usher looks at the quarter in his hand, leans over
and whispers, "The wife did it."
too farfrom the stage.
He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have
to watch a mystery close up.
Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher moves him into the second row, and the man
hands the usher a quarter...... Yep. 25 cents.
The usher looks at the quarter in his hand, leans over
and whispers, "The wife did it."
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~ Consulting the Experts....
The computer in my high school classroom was acting
up.
After watching me struggle with it, a student explained
that my hard drive had crashed.
So I called IT.
"Can someone look at my computer?"
I asked.
"The hard drive crashed."
"We can't just send people down on your say-so,"
said the specialist.
"How do you know that's the problem?"
"A student told me."
"We'll send someone right over."
The computer in my high school classroom was acting
up.
After watching me struggle with it, a student explained
that my hard drive had crashed.
So I called IT.
"Can someone look at my computer?"
I asked.
"The hard drive crashed."
"We can't just send people down on your say-so,"
said the specialist.
"How do you know that's the problem?"
"A student told me."
"We'll send someone right over."
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~ No one likes coughing up rent.
But at least these tenants gave landlords creative
reasons for avoiding it.
* "With my daughter's graduation, our new boat,
and our trip to Europe this year, we're a little strapped."
* "I'm getting real tired of paying this rent every month!
You'll have to wait a few more days."
* "We're a little short right now.
But don't worry—we're getting a refund on my wife's
tattoo.
The artist messed it up, and we're getting back most
of the bucks!"
* "I didn't pay the rent because I'm saving up to move."
* "It's your fault the check bounced.
Why didn't you tell me you were going to run to the bank
the very same day!"
But at least these tenants gave landlords creative
reasons for avoiding it.
* "With my daughter's graduation, our new boat,
and our trip to Europe this year, we're a little strapped."
* "I'm getting real tired of paying this rent every month!
You'll have to wait a few more days."
* "We're a little short right now.
But don't worry—we're getting a refund on my wife's
tattoo.
The artist messed it up, and we're getting back most
of the bucks!"
* "I didn't pay the rent because I'm saving up to move."
* "It's your fault the check bounced.
Why didn't you tell me you were going to run to the bank
the very same day!"
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~ An elderly patient paid me a wonderful compliment.
"You're beautiful," she said.
I must have looked skeptical because she was quick to
assure me that she was sincere.
"It's just that I rarely hear flattering comments about
my looks," I explained.
She smiled understandingly.
"That's because you're fat.
But it doesn't mean you aren't pretty."
"You're beautiful," she said.
I must have looked skeptical because she was quick to
assure me that she was sincere.
"It's just that I rarely hear flattering comments about
my looks," I explained.
She smiled understandingly.
"That's because you're fat.
But it doesn't mean you aren't pretty."
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~ A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife
something nice for their first wedding anniversary.
So he decides to buy her a cell phone.
She is all excited, she loves her phone.
He shows her and explains to her all the features on the
phone.
The next day the blonde goes shopping.
Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun," he says
"how do you like your new phone?"
She replies "I just love, it's so small and your voice is
clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand
though."
"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal- Mart?"
something nice for their first wedding anniversary.
So he decides to buy her a cell phone.
She is all excited, she loves her phone.
He shows her and explains to her all the features on the
phone.
The next day the blonde goes shopping.
Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun," he says
"how do you like your new phone?"
She replies "I just love, it's so small and your voice is
clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand
though."
"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal- Mart?"
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~ What do you get a 80 year old for their birthday?
Depends...
Depends...
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Todays Thought:
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life in such a manner that when you die the
world cries and you rejoice. - Indian Proverb
Live your life in such a manner that when you die the
world cries and you rejoice. - Indian Proverb
Rae's Trivia.....
A cat can purr continually without stopping between
breaths because it has 2 vocal cords..
one purrs on the inhale the other on the exhale.
breaths because it has 2 vocal cords..
one purrs on the inhale the other on the exhale.
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