First day of a new Month...
And today Mostly sunny. Highs in the mid 80s.
Southwest winds around 5 mph...
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I don't like Spiders...
I don't care how cute they are...
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Just what a Redneck, needs.....
That's cool.....
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Someone ruined a great classic...
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Someones gonna be in a heap of trouble....
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Yep, I like that song too..
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Whispering sweet nothings in his ear......
Are ya??
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Oh, no...Kermit the frog is eating the cat!
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I don't know, they scratch..
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Damn, I don't know if I would ride it if
I saw this??
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Oh, no....You didn't!
Cute or no....out you go.....
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That's cool....
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Well, time I got outta here....
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♥♥♥
~ My G/F was ranting on and on about the 'victims'
of Katrina.
She said " they were told it was coming,
for at least a week, on every channel on TV"
I said, "now honey, be fair, a lot of those people didn't
have a TV,.... until AFTER the hurricane"
of Katrina.
She said " they were told it was coming,
for at least a week, on every channel on TV"
I said, "now honey, be fair, a lot of those people didn't
have a TV,.... until AFTER the hurricane"
☼
~ What did the executioner say to his apprentice on his
first day on the job?
Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it.
first day on the job?
Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it.
☼
~ Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother
smoothed cold cream on her face.
'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked.
'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother,
who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny.... 'Giving up?'
smoothed cold cream on her face.
'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked.
'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother,
who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny.... 'Giving up?'
☼
~ In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with
Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The
Giant.
He pinned all 3 at the same time.
Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The
Giant.
He pinned all 3 at the same time.
☼
~ At the height of a political corruption trial, the
prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five
thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't
hear the question.
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to
compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please
answer the question."
"Oh," the startled witness said,
"I thought he was talking to you."
prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five
thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't
hear the question.
"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to
compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please
answer the question."
"Oh," the startled witness said,
"I thought he was talking to you."
☼
~ I am desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze
pilots wore helmets.
pilots wore helmets.
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~ I was walking down the street and saw my Afghani
neighbor Abdul standing on his fifth floor apartment
balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's wrong, Abdul?
Won't it start?"
neighbor Abdul standing on his fifth floor apartment
balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's wrong, Abdul?
Won't it start?"
☼
~ My son just said, "Dad, can you tell me what gay
means?"
"It means to be happy." I replied.
"Are you gay, dad?"
"No, son. I married your mother!"
~ My son just said, "Dad, can you tell me what gay
means?"
"It means to be happy." I replied.
"Are you gay, dad?"
"No, son. I married your mother!"
☼
~ How to Ruin an Interview......
When you're interviewing for a job, you want to make an
impression.
Hiring managers report that these people made one—
just not the right kind:
* Applicant hugged hiring manager at the end of the
interview.
* Applicant ate all the candy from the candy bowl while
trying to answer questions.
* Applicant blew her nose and lined up the used tissues
on the table in front of her.
* Applicant wore a hat that said.....
"Take this job and shove it."
* Applicant talked about how an affair cost him a
previous job.
* Applicant threw his beer can in the outside trash can
before coming into the reception area.
* Applicant's friend came in and asked,
"How much longer?"
When you're interviewing for a job, you want to make an
impression.
Hiring managers report that these people made one—
just not the right kind:
* Applicant hugged hiring manager at the end of the
interview.
* Applicant ate all the candy from the candy bowl while
trying to answer questions.
* Applicant blew her nose and lined up the used tissues
on the table in front of her.
* Applicant wore a hat that said.....
"Take this job and shove it."
* Applicant talked about how an affair cost him a
previous job.
* Applicant threw his beer can in the outside trash can
before coming into the reception area.
* Applicant's friend came in and asked,
"How much longer?"
☼
~ When our client's dog lapped up anti-freeze,
the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment:
an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka.
"Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find," he told me.
At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so
early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things
to the clerk.
"Believe it or not," I said, "this is for a sick dog."
As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two
bottles of muscatel and announced,
"These are for my cats."
~ When our client's dog lapped up anti-freeze,
the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment:
an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka.
"Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find," he told me.
At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so
early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things
to the clerk.
"Believe it or not," I said, "this is for a sick dog."
As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two
bottles of muscatel and announced,
"These are for my cats."
☼
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Todays Thought:
"The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right
too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to
rely on it." - Patrick Young
too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to
rely on it." - Patrick Young
Rae's Trivia.....
Napoleon appointed three scientists to create a device
that would preserve rations for his troops as they
attacked Russia.
Their brainchild: canned food.
In the French team was Louis Pasteur, the inventor of
the pasteurization method.
The technique they developed for canning is virtually
the same process used today.
Unfortunately, the scientists didn’t also invent a can
opener.
So by relying on knives and bayonets to pierce the
thick metal cans, many soldiers severely wounded
themselves, some even cutting off a finger or two!
that would preserve rations for his troops as they
attacked Russia.
Their brainchild: canned food.
In the French team was Louis Pasteur, the inventor of
the pasteurization method.
The technique they developed for canning is virtually
the same process used today.
Unfortunately, the scientists didn’t also invent a can
opener.
So by relying on knives and bayonets to pierce the
thick metal cans, many soldiers severely wounded
themselves, some even cutting off a finger or two!
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