Thursday, August 25, 2011

Good Morning... Readers...
Today mostly cloudy with showers and thunderstorms
likely in the afternoon.
Some thunderstorms may produce gusty winds...
small hail and heavy rainfall in the afternoon.
Highs in the upper 80s. Chance of rain 60 percent.
We need the Rain....


Pete How about a One Pound Burger??
I couldn't handle it... but maybe you can??

You think they contain eggs?

Now, what you gonna fill it with??
What ever, will you be able to lift to lips.....?

My Mother always said: "Comb your hair It looks
like a rats nest"... now I know why...!

Yeah, you look spiffy.....

Saw on the News.. This guy didn't make it... he fell trying
to change planes...

Hey, I wanna try this at home.....
Are you game, Pete??

Lady...thats a cool bike.....

Wait until you tell it to the judge....
Then it will go over big time....

Well, someone wants me off the Internet..
I guess I'm too intelligent...

Pete, don't this old Auto look cool?
and yes, I would love to have it...
I guess I'll leave now with my dreams..

♥♥♥

~  Researcher: Excuse me madam, I'm conducting a
survey.
Woman: Yes, what is it about?
Researcher: We are asking people what they think about
sex on the television...
Woman: Very uncomfortable, I would imagine!


~    I believe there is no problem so serious and
insoluble that it can't be blamed on someone else.....


~   The young woman approached the executive in front
of his office and said,
"Please sir, give to take a wayward girl off the street."
"And how much do you suggest I give?" he asked.
"It depends," she smiled, "Entirely on how long you
want to keep her off the street.


*  An airplane pilot dies at the controls.
He goes to Hell.
The devil takes him to the 'newly arrived' area.
There are three doors, marked 1, 2, and 3.
The devil tells the pilot that he is going to get to choose
his own hell, but first, the devil has to take care of
something first, and disappears.
 The curious pilot looks behind door number one.
He sees a pilot going through flight checks for all
eternity.
He looks behind door number two, and he sees a pilot
that forever finds himself trying to resolve emergency
situations.
He looks behind the last door, and sees a Captain being
waited on hand and foot by scantily-clad stewardesses.
 The devil returns just as the pilot gets back to his
waiting position.
He offers the pilot a choice of door number one or two.
The pilot says, "I wanted door number three!"
 "Sorry," replies the devil, "that's 'flight attendant's
hell'."

 ☼

*  What did the fisherman say to the card magician?
Pick a cod, any cod!


*  After being with her all evening, the man couldn't
take another minute with his blind date.
Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call
him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave
if something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes,
put on a grim expression and said,
"I have some bad news.
My grandfather just died."
"Thank heavens," his date replied.
"If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

 ☼

*  The cruel kids at school used to call me four eyes.
Still, quite a creative nickname seeing as I- I- I- I have
a stutter.


*  Sam said that on his 18th birthday his family had a
dinner party for him after everyone ate his dad took his
plate from infront of him and broke it then told him they
had guest plates....


*  A farmer was munching on a cookie, as he watches
the rooster chase a hen around.
 Playfully, the farmer throws a piece of cookie to the
ground.
Seeing it, the rooster stops chasing the hen and runs to
the piece of cookie.
 The farmer shakes his head slowly and says,
"Gosh, I hope I never get THAT hungry."


~ I asked my barber if it looked like my hair was getting
thin.
He said, Don't worry, It'll all come out alright!!

Todays thought:
 It is well enough that people of the nation do not
understand our banking and monetary system,
for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution
before tomorrow morning. - -Henry Ford

Rae's Trivia.....
You can’t use a U.S. computer monitor in Australia
because the colors would be wrong.
The magnetic field of the Earth pulls the electron beams
hitting the cathode tube to a position relative to its
position in the magnetic field.

And did you know...
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth,
with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been
dropped out of a helicopter. - Dave Barry


And the fight started....



1 comment:

  1. Never realised that about monitors (I even wondered for a second if it were April 1) Amazing also about the speed of cows!!!! LOL
    Rae x

    ReplyDelete

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