Ready for the weekend, Yet??
Sunny, in the 80's today....
No rain....
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The Hummers are getting Fat, and getting ready for their
flight home...... They are really Flitting around the feeders....
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Well I'll be.....He found "Waldo"......
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Oh, so now your Mad because you didn't find "Waldo"??
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Nope, no more for yew.....
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You don't look like "Bond...James Bond"....
I bet your no a Lady's cat either...
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Damn....That looks like me....
Looks like someone needs to get up and get it...
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That's what they say......
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Now....Just who you gonna Shoot??
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Cats love to do this.....
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It's that time...I gotta go.. see you tomorrow,,,
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♥♥♥
~ Chuck Norris once leaned against a tower in Pisa, Italy.
☼
~ Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and
got to thinking about things.
"Mommy, Mommy, why has Daddy got so few hairs on
his head?" he asked his mother.
"He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with
herself for coming up with a good answer to her
husband's baldness.
Or at least she was until Johnny thought for a second
and said, "I hope you don't start thinking. You would
look weird with a bald head!"
got to thinking about things.
"Mommy, Mommy, why has Daddy got so few hairs on
his head?" he asked his mother.
"He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with
herself for coming up with a good answer to her
husband's baldness.
Or at least she was until Johnny thought for a second
and said, "I hope you don't start thinking. You would
look weird with a bald head!"
☼
~ At the supermarket, Pete noticed a woman with
four boys and a baby.
Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out,
“Mommy! Mommy!” while she tried to shop.
Finally, she blurted out, “I don’t want to hear the word
mommy for at least 10 minutes!”
The boys fell silent for a few seconds.
Then one tugged on his mother’s dress and said softly,
“Excuse me, miss.”
four boys and a baby.
Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out,
“Mommy! Mommy!” while she tried to shop.
Finally, she blurted out, “I don’t want to hear the word
mommy for at least 10 minutes!”
The boys fell silent for a few seconds.
Then one tugged on his mother’s dress and said softly,
“Excuse me, miss.”
☼
~ Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his
girlfriend, either the car is new or the girlfriend is.
girlfriend, either the car is new or the girlfriend is.
☼
~ The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for
her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra.
Her grandmother just has a fit, telling her not to dare go
out like that.
The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams.
These are modern times.
You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the
grandmother is sitting there with no top on.
The teenager wants to die.
She explains to her grandmother that she has friends
coming over and that it is just not appropriate.
"Loosen up, sweetie.
If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display
my hanging baskets."
her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra.
Her grandmother just has a fit, telling her not to dare go
out like that.
The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams.
These are modern times.
You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the
grandmother is sitting there with no top on.
The teenager wants to die.
She explains to her grandmother that she has friends
coming over and that it is just not appropriate.
"Loosen up, sweetie.
If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display
my hanging baskets."
☼
~ After six years of trying to start a family a couple was
finally blessed with the birth of its first child.
The wife told her husband to put an announcement in
the local paper.
When he returned from the newspaper office, she asked
him what details he had included.
"Just the name, address and date," he said.
"How much did it cost?"
"About six hundred and eighty dollars," he replied.
"Why so much?" the stunned woman exclaimed.
"Well, after I wrote out the announcement,
the clerk asked me how many insertions, and I said four
times a week for six years."
finally blessed with the birth of its first child.
The wife told her husband to put an announcement in
the local paper.
When he returned from the newspaper office, she asked
him what details he had included.
"Just the name, address and date," he said.
"How much did it cost?"
"About six hundred and eighty dollars," he replied.
"Why so much?" the stunned woman exclaimed.
"Well, after I wrote out the announcement,
the clerk asked me how many insertions, and I said four
times a week for six years."
☼
~ A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her
husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL!
Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking
too many at once.
TOO MANY!
Turn them!..... TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter.
Oh my gosh!
WHERE are we going to get MORE B UTTER?
They're going to STICK!
Careful..... CAREFUL!
I said be CAREFUL!
You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!
Never! T
urn them!
Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them.
You know you always forget to salt them.
Use the salt.
USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”
The wife stared at him.
“What in the world is wrong with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?”
The husband calmly replied,”
'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm
driving.”
husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
“Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL!
Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking
too many at once.
TOO MANY!
Turn them!..... TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter.
Oh my gosh!
WHERE are we going to get MORE B UTTER?
They're going to STICK!
Careful..... CAREFUL!
I said be CAREFUL!
You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!
Never! T
urn them!
Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them.
You know you always forget to salt them.
Use the salt.
USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”
The wife stared at him.
“What in the world is wrong with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?”
The husband calmly replied,”
'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm
driving.”
☼
~ At the end of the day, all the children at the daycare
where I work wait anxiously for their parents to pick them
up.
I knew each and every day when her mother was arriving.
My co-workers and I would laugh when Gabi dashed
from the room, down the hall and into her mother's
arms before any of us had a chance to let her know it
was time to go home.
One day Gabi's mother asked her how she always knew
when she had arrived to get her.
Gabi explained that her high heels gave her away:
"I know your clicks!"
where I work wait anxiously for their parents to pick them
up.
I knew each and every day when her mother was arriving.
My co-workers and I would laugh when Gabi dashed
from the room, down the hall and into her mother's
arms before any of us had a chance to let her know it
was time to go home.
One day Gabi's mother asked her how she always knew
when she had arrived to get her.
Gabi explained that her high heels gave her away:
"I know your clicks!"
☼
~ A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a
driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
“Can you read this?” the optician asked.
“Read it?” the Polish guy replied, “I know the guy.”
driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
“Can you read this?” the optician asked.
“Read it?” the Polish guy replied, “I know the guy.”
☼
~ The police finally arrested the local madam and
seized her big black book in which her talent was listed.
Each officer on the force was assigned a group of the
names in it and told to check them out.
After a week, the Chief called a meeting to get their
reports
When it became time for Detective Ralph to tell what he
had found, he said, "I'm sorry, Chief, but I think I should
disqualify myself.
One of the ladies is an 84 year old woman.
She is so charming that I have to tell you that I have
fallen in love with her.
"Damn, boy!" exclaimed the Chief.
"I sure am surprised at you.
You've been a policeman almost all your life, and here
you are, falling for the oldest trick in the book.
seized her big black book in which her talent was listed.
Each officer on the force was assigned a group of the
names in it and told to check them out.
After a week, the Chief called a meeting to get their
reports
When it became time for Detective Ralph to tell what he
had found, he said, "I'm sorry, Chief, but I think I should
disqualify myself.
One of the ladies is an 84 year old woman.
She is so charming that I have to tell you that I have
fallen in love with her.
"Damn, boy!" exclaimed the Chief.
"I sure am surprised at you.
You've been a policeman almost all your life, and here
you are, falling for the oldest trick in the book.
☼
* A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant
that read "Unique Breakfast" so he walked in and sat
down.
The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him
what he wanted.
"What's your Unique Breakfast?" he asked inquisitively.
"Baked tongue of chicken!" she proudly replied.
"Baked tongue of chicken?... baked tongue of chicken!
Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?
I would never even consider eating anything that came
out of a chicken's mouth!" he fumed.
Undaunted, the waitress asked, "What would you like
then?"
"Just bring me some scrambled eggs," the man replied.
* A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant
that read "Unique Breakfast" so he walked in and sat
down.
The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him
what he wanted.
"What's your Unique Breakfast?" he asked inquisitively.
"Baked tongue of chicken!" she proudly replied.
"Baked tongue of chicken?... baked tongue of chicken!
Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?
I would never even consider eating anything that came
out of a chicken's mouth!" he fumed.
Undaunted, the waitress asked, "What would you like
then?"
"Just bring me some scrambled eggs," the man replied.
☼
☼
Today's Thought:
Hand: A singular instrument worn at the end of the
human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's
pocket. - Ambrose Bierce
human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's
pocket. - Ambrose Bierce
Rae's Trivia.....
On September 13, 1913, the famous Lincoln Highway,
the first paved trans-American highway, was completed,
running from New York to San Francisco.
In 1928, thousands of Boy Scouts fanned out along the
highway.
At an average of about one per mile,
they installed concrete markers with a small bust of
Lincoln, dedicating the road to his memory.
the first paved trans-American highway, was completed,
running from New York to San Francisco.
In 1928, thousands of Boy Scouts fanned out along the
highway.
At an average of about one per mile,
they installed concrete markers with a small bust of
Lincoln, dedicating the road to his memory.
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