Mostly cloudy with a chance of showers.
A chance of thunderstorms in the afternoon.
Highs around 90.
Chance of rain 40 percent.
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Yes... Get the hand......
it will get you.....
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Yep, that will do it.....
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What can you say??
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Won't work.....
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Okay...Tell us who's fighting......
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"Dog" likes Cats??
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Gotta play them games.....
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Okay, I won't.....
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Well, I'll leave on this one....
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♥♥♥
~ England’s West Country is known for its charming
cottage-like shops.
While visiting the area, my friend peered in through one
window to see shelf upon shelf of interesting-looking
books.
So she went inside.
A woman appeared though a beaded curtain and asked,
“Can I help you?”
“No, just browsing,” said my friend.
“Fine,” came the reply.
“But so you know, around here most people knock
before entering someone’s home.”
cottage-like shops.
While visiting the area, my friend peered in through one
window to see shelf upon shelf of interesting-looking
books.
So she went inside.
A woman appeared though a beaded curtain and asked,
“Can I help you?”
“No, just browsing,” said my friend.
“Fine,” came the reply.
“But so you know, around here most people knock
before entering someone’s home.”
☼
~ Doctor: I’m sorry to have to tell you that you may have
rabies, and it could prove fatal.
Patient: Well, doctor, please give me pencil and paper.
Doctor: To make your will?
Patient: No, to make a list of people I want to bite.
rabies, and it could prove fatal.
Patient: Well, doctor, please give me pencil and paper.
Doctor: To make your will?
Patient: No, to make a list of people I want to bite.
☼
~ Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred
dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
☼
~ After reading the morning headlines about the recent
stock market downturn, a high-powered executive trying
to impress a client in his office, flipped on his intercom
switch and barked to his secretary, "Miss Hunter,
get my broker!"
The client was impressed until he heard the secretary's
clear voice saying, "Yes, Sir, stock or pawn?"
~ After reading the morning headlines about the recent
stock market downturn, a high-powered executive trying
to impress a client in his office, flipped on his intercom
switch and barked to his secretary, "Miss Hunter,
get my broker!"
The client was impressed until he heard the secretary's
clear voice saying, "Yes, Sir, stock or pawn?"
☼
~ Nearing the end of a recent project, a client of ours
was looking for ways to save a few bucks.
We sharpened our pencils and reworked the numbers.
One cost cutting measure we presented him with was
the option of installing 2" x 2" tile rather than a stone
slab on top of the built-in bench in his shower.
We got a call from him the other day.
He could hardly contain his laughter when he told us
about his wife's first experience in the new shower.
She apparently spent about an hour sitting on the bench
relaxing.
He said that she developed a serious case of
"waffle butt"!
was looking for ways to save a few bucks.
We sharpened our pencils and reworked the numbers.
One cost cutting measure we presented him with was
the option of installing 2" x 2" tile rather than a stone
slab on top of the built-in bench in his shower.
We got a call from him the other day.
He could hardly contain his laughter when he told us
about his wife's first experience in the new shower.
She apparently spent about an hour sitting on the bench
relaxing.
He said that she developed a serious case of
"waffle butt"!
☼
~ A buddy out of Longview said he'd killed a mosquito
that was carrying a canteen.
A man in Dime Box said the chicken farmers were
giving the chickens crushed ice to keep them from
laying hard-boiled eggs.
In Lake Palestine, they caught a 20 lb. catfish that had ticks on it!
But just this week, in Bryan, a fire hydrant was seen
bribing a dog.
The other day my cow gave powdered milk.......
Now THAT'S dry!
~ A buddy out of Longview said he'd killed a mosquito
that was carrying a canteen.
A man in Dime Box said the chicken farmers were
giving the chickens crushed ice to keep them from
laying hard-boiled eggs.
In Lake Palestine, they caught a 20 lb. catfish that had ticks on it!
But just this week, in Bryan, a fire hydrant was seen
bribing a dog.
The other day my cow gave powdered milk.......
Now THAT'S dry!
☼
~ A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed.
He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the
speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed
the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the
camera flashed.
He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down
even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic
camera flashed yet again.
He tried a fourth time with the same result.
The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed
as he rolled past at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the
mail for driving without a seat belt.
He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the
speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed
the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the
camera flashed.
He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down
even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic
camera flashed yet again.
He tried a fourth time with the same result.
The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed
as he rolled past at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the
mail for driving without a seat belt.
☼
* I read this on the Internet -- did you know that 4th of
July is more popular in this country than in any other
country in the whole world?
July is more popular in this country than in any other
country in the whole world?
☼
* My wife was kidnapped yesterday.
The perpetrators sent a ransom note with one of her
fingers as evidence they have her.
I told them I needed more proof.
The perpetrators sent a ransom note with one of her
fingers as evidence they have her.
I told them I needed more proof.
☼
* Q: How did the blonde break her arm?
A: she fell out of a tree while she was raking leaves.
A: she fell out of a tree while she was raking leaves.
☼
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Todays Thought;
"I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of
answering that question." - Yogi Berra,
(Baseball Great and Philosopher
answering that question." - Yogi Berra,
(Baseball Great and Philosopher
Rae's Trivia....
Hairs in the Brush: A symptom that could indicate
alopecia universalis, a stress-induced malady.
This disorder not only causes all the hair on your head to
fall out, but chest hair, leg hair, pubic hair and hair
anywhere else on your body to fall out....underarms too!
Hairs in the Brush: A symptom that could indicate
alopecia universalis, a stress-induced malady.
This disorder not only causes all the hair on your head to
fall out, but chest hair, leg hair, pubic hair and hair
anywhere else on your body to fall out....underarms too!
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