Monday, August 29, 2011

Good Morning, everyone.....
Partly sunny, Today.....
Isolated showers in the afternoon.
Highs around 80. East winds around 5 mph.

Oops... Any one got any toilet paper??
Gonna need alot.....

Watch it! that crab will pinch you......

Don't look like any catfish I ever saw....
You just want a soft bed......
Why would you dye your cat...?

Oh No!... You messed up my Puter.....
I think I'll dye you yellow as Lemon....

"Right Much"
Alway's like kittens....
He looks cool...don't he??

Cat Money??

Yeah, right....ENO....

How would you like this Caddie,,,,Pete...
♥♥♥

~  FEMA advice to prepare for hurricane Irene;
As Hurricane Irene prepares to batter the East Coast,
Federal disaster officials warn that internet outages
could force people to interact with other people for the
first time in years.
Residents are bracing themselves for the horror of
awkward silences and unwanted eye contact.
FEMA advises: “Be prepared.....
Write down possible topics to talk about in advance,
for example, sports or perhaps the weather.
Remember, a conversation is basically a series of
Facebook updates strung together.”



~  Hurricane update: The mayor of New York has
announced its currently tearing through Brooklyn.
 Its already reported to have caused over
$300,000,000 worth of improvements...


~ I heard The Statue of Liberty flew off its base
and some idiots trying to cash it in at the recycle center!


~  The Israelis are developing an airport security device
that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with
full-body scanners at the airports.
It's a booth you can step into that will not X-ray you,
but will detonate any explosive device you may have on
you.
They see this as a win-win for everyone,
with none of this crap about racial profiling.
It also would eliminate the costs of a long and
expensive trial.
Justice would be swift..... Case closed.
You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled
explosion.
Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the
PA system: "Attention standby passengers -
we now have a seat available on flight number XXXX...
Shalom."
Hats off to the Israelis.


~  If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea,
does the fifth one enjoy it?..... lol


~  Here's a tip for you:
When you start going out with someone, just after they
go to sleep at night, put a nicotine patch on their arm.
Then, just before they wake up in the morning,
take it off again.
 This way, if they ever leave you, they'll get withdrawal
symptoms, think it's love, and come back.


~  Just got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks...
To the alligators.


*  After ten years of widowhood, I remarried. 
Leaving work one wintry evening, I told a colleague that
it was very gratifying to once again have someone worry
about me if the roads were icy. 
My new husband would be awaiting my arrival,
I said, and would hurry out to meet me at the car.
 I couldn't have been more right. 
As I pulled into the driveway, my husband burst out the
door and came up to me.
 Rubbing our new car, he anxiously queried,
"Did you get salt on it?"


~  I bought a dog the other day.
I named him Stay.
It's fun to call him.
"Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!"
He went insane.
Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
He's an East German Shepherd.


~  A soldier in my platoon became concerned when the
army insisted that he sign up for direct deposit.
 "It's not going to work for me," he said, panicked.
 "Why not?" I asked.
 "Because I use my pay for spending money."
 "So"
 "For the past ten years, I've been telling my wife that
I serve for free!"

Todays Thought ☞
 "This country has come to feel the same when
Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of
a hammer." - Will Rogers


Rae's trivia......
First toilet on TV. 
The very first episode of Leave It to Beaver in 1957 was
shelved for a few weeks by network censors because it
showed a toilet. 
(Wally and the Beaver tried to keep a baby alligator in
the toilet tank,)

 




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