Monday, July 4, 2011

Good Morning, Friends....
Warm yoday....in the 90's..
Partly cloudy, chance of storms..


Happy July 4Th. Everyone....
Don't eat too much of that burned meat, Pete...

Hey! No drinking on the Blog.....
This is a family Blog......

Yes, that goes for Cats too.....

I know thet Enjoy a good cat Nap.....

Now that's dumb.....
Cats don't like space... Just want a warm place to nap....

Just playing folks......

That "Aflac" duck sure gets around.....
If you come here bring cash.....

"Pete", Help.....What this was??
Talk about ugly......

Well, he's enjoying his ride......


Come on "Joe", you can do better then that.....

What a ride in my "Ride", Pete??

♥♥♥

*  Pete was driving down the road and a met a car
coming the other way.
Although there was room to pass easily, Pete forced
the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his
window and shouted 'Pig'.
The other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore
at Pete............. Then his car hit the pig.


*  Osamas dead:
Why is the terror alert elevated or imminent?
Why not chill?
 Can't I just fly, keep my shoes on and avoid X-ray-fueled
testicular cancer?


New Las Vegas Slogans.....
"What Happens Here, Stays Here" is getting old, so a
contest is being held for new slogans.
Here are the leading contenders:
 1) Las Vegas: Better than Detroit (Actually, this works
for any city.)
2) It's The Gambling, Stupid..
3) You're Broke, Hung Over and Pissed..... Now Go Home..
4) Where Luck Goes to Die...
5) More Than Thirty Million Schmucks a Year Can't Be
 Wrong ...
6) We've Got What It Takes To Take What You've Got...


*  What does the starship enterprise and tiolet paper
have in common?
They both circle around uranus and wipe out klingons.


*  A traffic cop pulled alongside a speeding car on the
motorway.
Glancing into the car, he was astounded to see that the
young lady, who was driving, was knitting.
 Realising that she was oblivious to his flashing lights
and siren, the policeman wound down his window,
turned on his loudspeaker and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
 'NO', the young lady yelled back, 'IT's A SCARF!'


*  Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and
sidewalks.


*  If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.
If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds
away from death.


*  Good Question!
And Moses looked upon the Lord and said:
"We are your chosen people and you want us to cut the
tips off of our WHAT?"


 * 
*  Murphy's wife borrowed his car and parked in the
supermarket car park.
Just as she came out laden with shopping, she saw a
young lad break into the car, hot wire it and drive off.
Naturally she reported the matter to the police.'
What did he look like?, the sergeant asked.
'I don't know she replied, but I got the licence plate'.


*  What To Do About Cars Speeding In small towns?
The local council could not afford a speed camera,
so they put up a sign saying: Slow down Old People's
Home.
It had no effect.
At the next meeting the decided to play on the paternal
instincts and put up a sign: Danger - Children at Play.
The result was no discernable reduction in traffic speed.
 Then the chairman had a brain-wave and suggested
they try a sign with:  Nudist Colony.
As a result of the Nudist Colony notice, white vans and
trucks crawl thought the town.....


*  yesterday at the store , I bought 3 bags of candies for
$1, a "big" packet of Smarties, a Bueno, a multipack
of Mars bars, Skittles and a few chewits packets along
 with 4 bottles of Dr Pepper.
 The woman at the till said "Got a sweet tooth have you?"
 jokingly.
It wiped the smile of her face when I replied "No,
I'm Diabetic, and I'm  sick of life"...


*  Redneck's First (Parachute) Jump Just before a new
redneck had his first parachute jump, his sergeant
reminded him, "Count to ten, then pull the first rip cord.
If it snarls, pull the second rip cord for your auxiliary
chute.
After you land, our truck will pick you up."
 The paratrooper took a deep breath and jumped.
He counted to ten and pulled the first cord.
Nothing happened.
 He pulled the second cord.
 Again, nothing happened.
As he plummeted to the ground, he said to himself,
"I'll bet that truck won't be there either!"

Todays Thought:
 "Nothing gives a person so much advantage over
another as to remain always cool and unruffled under
all circumstances." - Thomas Jefferson


Rae's Trivia....
In 1829, English scientist James Smithson died in
Genoa, Italy, leaving the whole of his estate to the
United States. 
Today the Smithsonian Institution is comprised of
nineteen museums,nine research centers, and the
national zoo. 
James Smithson is interred in the Smithsonian Building
in Washington, D.C.









1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Happy 4th Gus enjoy your barbie today! Hugzs Carol