Are you enjoying the Hot weekend?
Calling for 91º and chance of t-storms
this evening.... We do need rain.....
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Seems more like an Army.....
I guess you better follow orders......
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No you can't...Dummy......
You think your Under Dog??
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Someones gonna get wet........
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Dress up time.......
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Now your gonna poop splinters....
And thats gonna hurt......
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One word "already" but no hair......
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This takes some doing...
Got a fall coming??
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Oh, My....looks dumb.... But thats the look he's going for...
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What can I say??
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'Bubba', thats not the drive in window....
Wait!! I guess it is now......
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Well, i guess it's time to go....I'm seeing things.....
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♥♥♥
* Down in Louisiana, Reverend Boudreaux was the
part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church,
and Pastor Thibodaux was the minister of the Covenant
Church across the road.
They were both standing by the road pounding a sign
into the ground that read:
"Da End Is Near
Turn Yo Self 'Roun' Now
Afore It Be Too Late!"
As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his
window and yelled,
"RELIGIOUS NUTS!!!!"
From the curve they heard screeching tires, followed
by a big splash... Boudreaux turned to Thibodaux and
asked,
"Do ya think maybe da sign should jus' say,
'Bridge Out'?"
part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church,
and Pastor Thibodaux was the minister of the Covenant
Church across the road.
They were both standing by the road pounding a sign
into the ground that read:
"Da End Is Near
Turn Yo Self 'Roun' Now
Afore It Be Too Late!"
As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his
window and yelled,
"RELIGIOUS NUTS!!!!"
From the curve they heard screeching tires, followed
by a big splash... Boudreaux turned to Thibodaux and
asked,
"Do ya think maybe da sign should jus' say,
'Bridge Out'?"
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* One evening my former boss was getting out of the
shower when his wife called, asking him to turn off an
iron she had mistaken left on in the basement before
she left for the weekend.
Thinking no one would see him, he ran down the stairs
into the dark basement without even a towel on.
As he flipped on the light switch, though, he was
shocked to hear dozens of people yell "Surprise"
His wife had orchestrated the secret party to celebrate
his 40th birthday.
shower when his wife called, asking him to turn off an
iron she had mistaken left on in the basement before
she left for the weekend.
Thinking no one would see him, he ran down the stairs
into the dark basement without even a towel on.
As he flipped on the light switch, though, he was
shocked to hear dozens of people yell "Surprise"
His wife had orchestrated the secret party to celebrate
his 40th birthday.
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* I was sitting behind an enthusiastic mom at my son's
Little League game.
Her boy was pitching for the opposing team and she
cheered as he threw wild pitch after wild pitch.
The poor kid walked every batter.
It was only the first inning and the score was 14-0.
Then one batter finally smacked the ball.
"Oh no," the mom wailed......
"There goes his no-hitter."
Little League game.
Her boy was pitching for the opposing team and she
cheered as he threw wild pitch after wild pitch.
The poor kid walked every batter.
It was only the first inning and the score was 14-0.
Then one batter finally smacked the ball.
"Oh no," the mom wailed......
"There goes his no-hitter."
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* When we take our dog on a car journey, we carry his
drinking water in a gin bottle.
On one occasion we stopped at a pub for lunch and let
him out of the car.
Pouring some water from the bottle into his bowl,
I noticed a man watching with fascination.
he came over to me and whispered,
"I hope that you're not going to let him drive!"
drinking water in a gin bottle.
On one occasion we stopped at a pub for lunch and let
him out of the car.
Pouring some water from the bottle into his bowl,
I noticed a man watching with fascination.
he came over to me and whispered,
"I hope that you're not going to let him drive!"
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* A poll taker knocks on the door of a house, and a
scrawny man, holding a towel, opens the door.
"Sir, will you tell me, for the purposes of this poll,
for whom you and your wife will be voting in the
up-coming election?"
"We'll be voting for my candidate," replied the man.
"And who would that be?" the pollster inquired.
"I dunno. My wife hasn't told me yet."
scrawny man, holding a towel, opens the door.
"Sir, will you tell me, for the purposes of this poll,
for whom you and your wife will be voting in the
up-coming election?"
"We'll be voting for my candidate," replied the man.
"And who would that be?" the pollster inquired.
"I dunno. My wife hasn't told me yet."
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* After the first takeoff of the fully automatic airplane,
the passengers heard the soothing, reassuring voice of
the pilot: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your automatic
pilot.
In my modern and carefully tested sytem an error is
absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible,
absolutely impossible, ..."
the passengers heard the soothing, reassuring voice of
the pilot: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your automatic
pilot.
In my modern and carefully tested sytem an error is
absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible,
absolutely impossible, ..."
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~ I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!!
At least I presume she was poor -
she only had $3.20 in her purse.
At least I presume she was poor -
she only had $3.20 in her purse.
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~ A Jewish woman wants to take her dog to Israel,
so she goes to the travel agent to find out how.
He says, "It's easy. You go to the airline, they give you a
kennel, you put your dog in it, when you get off at
Tel Aviv go to the luggage rack, and there's your dog.
So she does, gets off at Tel Aviv, goes to the luggage
rack, no dog.
She goes to the lost and found, says, "Where's my dog?
" They look all over the airport for it, and find the dog in
another terminal....... Only the dog is dead.
"Oh, my Gosh, they say, we killed this woman's dog.
What are we going to do?"
Then one says, "Wait a minute, it's a cockerspaniel.
They're common dogs.
There's a pet shop across the street from the airport.
We'll get the same size, shape, color, sex.
She'll never know the difference."
They bring the woman the other dog and she says,
"That's not my dog."
Laughingly and making light of it they say, "What do you
mean that's not your dog?"
And she says, "My dog's dead.
I was taking it to Israel to bury it."
so she goes to the travel agent to find out how.
He says, "It's easy. You go to the airline, they give you a
kennel, you put your dog in it, when you get off at
Tel Aviv go to the luggage rack, and there's your dog.
So she does, gets off at Tel Aviv, goes to the luggage
rack, no dog.
She goes to the lost and found, says, "Where's my dog?
" They look all over the airport for it, and find the dog in
another terminal....... Only the dog is dead.
"Oh, my Gosh, they say, we killed this woman's dog.
What are we going to do?"
Then one says, "Wait a minute, it's a cockerspaniel.
They're common dogs.
There's a pet shop across the street from the airport.
We'll get the same size, shape, color, sex.
She'll never know the difference."
They bring the woman the other dog and she says,
"That's not my dog."
Laughingly and making light of it they say, "What do you
mean that's not your dog?"
And she says, "My dog's dead.
I was taking it to Israel to bury it."
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~ My sister was teaching her son, Jakob, that he could
pray any time of the day and even talk to God while he
was doing other things.
One morning, he came down the stairs and said to his
mom, "I can't get my zipper done up.
I asked God to do it, but he didn't!"
pray any time of the day and even talk to God while he
was doing other things.
One morning, he came down the stairs and said to his
mom, "I can't get my zipper done up.
I asked God to do it, but he didn't!"
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* Tech Support: "Do you have any windows open right
now?"
Customer: "Are you crazy woman, it's twenty below
outside!"
now?"
Customer: "Are you crazy woman, it's twenty below
outside!"
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~ To get his mind off his losing streak at the racetrack,
I took my friend horseback riding.
Being a novice, he freaked when his mount took off.
"How do I stop?" he yelled.
"Bet on it!" I hollered back.
I took my friend horseback riding.
Being a novice, he freaked when his mount took off.
"How do I stop?" he yelled.
"Bet on it!" I hollered back.
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Todays Thought:
"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly
desired." - Robert Frost
desired." - Robert Frost
Rae's Trivia.....
The shallow champagne glass originated with
Marie Antoinette, from wax molds made of her breasts.
Marie Antoinette, from wax molds made of her breasts.
1 comment:
I dislike champagne and now I know why LOL. Weather hotting up with us finally we may get a few weeks summer at last :-)
Rae xx
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