and even Hotter tomorrow.... To hot for a cook out?
Maybe after the Sun goes down...by the pool..
Any way...Have a great Holiday weekend...
☼
Oh, yes it is......and Hot.....
☼
I needed that mouse to post the blog....
couldn't find it.....you had it....
Leave my stuff alone.....
☼
Got yah... Time for your bath.......
☼
Why.... I've got good looking legs.....
☼
Gots to get her exercise...
Needs a bigger bike...or a trailer....
☼
I have no idea.... you'll have to ask Pete....
☼
Yes, don't forget to latch the gate....
Don't want them to get out......
☼
I just don't know...
seems like a waste of time and money.....
☼
Pete... my idea for a gas-less car....
Think it will work??
☼
Yeah, what is there?
☼
Well, it's that time.....
See you tomorrow.....
Be careful, this weekend....
☼
☼
♥♥♥
* I went to the bank today to ask for a loan.
"What do you need the money for sir"
"It's for a car"
"Oh nice what are you getting"
"Just some unleaded....
"What do you need the money for sir"
"It's for a car"
"Oh nice what are you getting"
"Just some unleaded....
☼
* My father began teaching business classes at the
local prison through a community college.
On his first night of class, he started a chapter on
banking.
During the course of his lecture, the subject of ATMs
came up, and he mentioned that, on average,
most machines contain only about $1,500 at a given
time.
Just then a man in the back raised his hand.
"I'm not trying to be disrespectful," he told my father,
"But the machine I robbed had about $5,000 in it.
local prison through a community college.
On his first night of class, he started a chapter on
banking.
During the course of his lecture, the subject of ATMs
came up, and he mentioned that, on average,
most machines contain only about $1,500 at a given
time.
Just then a man in the back raised his hand.
"I'm not trying to be disrespectful," he told my father,
"But the machine I robbed had about $5,000 in it.
☼
* Searching in my library for two books by
communications expert Deborah Tannen turned into an
Abbott and Costello routine.
"What's the first book?" the librarian asked.
"That's Not What I meant"....... I said
"Well, what did you mean?"
"That's the title of the book," I explained.
"Okay" She looked at me a little skeptically.
"And the other book?"
"You Just Don't Understand."
"Excuse me?"
I got both books...... Eventually.
communications expert Deborah Tannen turned into an
Abbott and Costello routine.
"What's the first book?" the librarian asked.
"That's Not What I meant"....... I said
"Well, what did you mean?"
"That's the title of the book," I explained.
"Okay" She looked at me a little skeptically.
"And the other book?"
"You Just Don't Understand."
"Excuse me?"
I got both books...... Eventually.
☼
* I've started cycling to work everyday in a bid to get fit,
but people say it makes me look gay.
So, to macho up my image a little bit,
I've drawn some racing stripes on my basket.
but people say it makes me look gay.
So, to macho up my image a little bit,
I've drawn some racing stripes on my basket.
☼
* Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband
was engrossed in a magazine.
Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
“Listen to this,” she said.
“There’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to
swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium.”
“Hmmm,” her husband said, not looking up from his
magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, “Would you swap me for a
season ticket?”
“Absolutely not,” he said.
“How sweet,” Sarah said. “Tell me why not.”
“Season’s more than half over,” he said.
was engrossed in a magazine.
Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
“Listen to this,” she said.
“There’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to
swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium.”
“Hmmm,” her husband said, not looking up from his
magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, “Would you swap me for a
season ticket?”
“Absolutely not,” he said.
“How sweet,” Sarah said. “Tell me why not.”
“Season’s more than half over,” he said.
☼
* Tax day -- April 15 -- was looming when an elderly
woman showed up at the IRS.
She said she required a thick stack of tax forms.
"Why so many?" the clerk asked.
"My son is stationed overseas," she said.
"He asked me to pick up forms for the Marines on the
base."
"You shouldn't have to do this," the clerk told her.
"It's the base commander's job to make sure that his
troops have access to the forms they need."
"I know," said the woman.
"I'm the base commander's mother."
woman showed up at the IRS.
She said she required a thick stack of tax forms.
"Why so many?" the clerk asked.
"My son is stationed overseas," she said.
"He asked me to pick up forms for the Marines on the
base."
"You shouldn't have to do this," the clerk told her.
"It's the base commander's job to make sure that his
troops have access to the forms they need."
"I know," said the woman.
"I'm the base commander's mother."
☼
* Been playing hangman over the internet this morning....
with a 8 year old girl
I think I won!
with a 8 year old girl
I think I won!
☼
~ A new pastor was visiting the homes of his
parishioners.
At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at
home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at
the door.
Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20
on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday,
he found that his card had been returned.
Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and
knock."
Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden
and I was afraid, for I was naked."
parishioners.
At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at
home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at
the door.
Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20
on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday,
he found that his card had been returned.
Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and
knock."
Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden
and I was afraid, for I was naked."
☼
* "All we do is argue, we need to learn to get along,"
my wife said.
"So let's try and speak the same language from now on,
okay?"
"Moooooooo," I replied.
my wife said.
"So let's try and speak the same language from now on,
okay?"
"Moooooooo," I replied.
☼
* 10 Signs Your An Internet Geek....
10. When filling out your driver's license application
you give your IP address.
9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign
is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"
8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends
e-mail.
7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food.
6. You "ping" people to see if they're awake,
"finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT"
them to make sure they're listening to you.
5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every
silly free T-shirt contest.
4. You introduce your wife as "my lady@home.wife"
and refer to your children as "client applications".
3. At social functions you introduce your husband as
"my domain server".
2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out,
"I feel so colon-right parentheses!"
And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:
1. Two Words: "Pizza's Here!"
10. When filling out your driver's license application
you give your IP address.
9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign
is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"
8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends
e-mail.
7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food.
6. You "ping" people to see if they're awake,
"finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT"
them to make sure they're listening to you.
5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every
silly free T-shirt contest.
4. You introduce your wife as "my lady@home.wife"
and refer to your children as "client applications".
3. At social functions you introduce your husband as
"my domain server".
2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out,
"I feel so colon-right parentheses!"
And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:
1. Two Words: "Pizza's Here!"
☼
☼
Todays Thought:
He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything.
That points clearly to a political career.- George Bernard Shaw
That points clearly to a political career.- George Bernard Shaw
Rae's Trivia....
On his way home to visit his parents, a Harvard student
fell between two railroad cars at the station in Jersey City,
New Jersey, and was rescued by an actor on his way to
visit a sister in Philadelphia.
The student was Robert Lincoln, heading for 1600
Pennsylvania Avenue.
The actor was Edwin Booth, the brother of the man who
a few weeks later would murder the student’s father.
fell between two railroad cars at the station in Jersey City,
New Jersey, and was rescued by an actor on his way to
visit a sister in Philadelphia.
The student was Robert Lincoln, heading for 1600
Pennsylvania Avenue.
The actor was Edwin Booth, the brother of the man who
a few weeks later would murder the student’s father.
No comments:
Post a Comment