Partly cloudy with a few afternoon and evening
thunderstorms, today....
Highs in the lower 90s.
And gonna get hotter.......
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Egg and Bacon pie??
That will add some weight on ya....
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Made my Chickadee fire alarm go off.....
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Not typing just checking out that mouse...
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Woun't do you any good....
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Oh, no Get off my harddrive!!...
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I don't blame ya....
that stuff is awful....
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Hey! Your not doing a good job.....
You still got crumbs all over.....
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I know who you are.....
Your still in the dog house.......
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I got the car lock up....
No car thieves..... in my car......
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Well, if I can get in, I'll leave.....
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♥♥♥
* While walking to the ninth hole, one psychiatrist said
to his colleague, would you believe that yesterday I had
a patient who claimed he heard music every time he put
on his hat?”
“Really? What did you do?”
The psychiatrist answered,
“I took it away and removed the band.”
to his colleague, would you believe that yesterday I had
a patient who claimed he heard music every time he put
on his hat?”
“Really? What did you do?”
The psychiatrist answered,
“I took it away and removed the band.”
☼
* Two friends meet on the street.
One asks the other: "Hi, how are you?"
The other replies: "I'm fine, thanks."
"And how's your son? Is he still unemployed?"
"Yes, he is. But he is meditating now."
"Meditating? What's that?"
"I don't know. But it's better than sitting around and
doing nothing!"
One asks the other: "Hi, how are you?"
The other replies: "I'm fine, thanks."
"And how's your son? Is he still unemployed?"
"Yes, he is. But he is meditating now."
"Meditating? What's that?"
"I don't know. But it's better than sitting around and
doing nothing!"
☼
* Knock Knock
Who's there?
Alex
Alex who?
Alexplain later... now let me in.
Who's there?
Alex
Alex who?
Alexplain later... now let me in.
☼
* Dog property laws.....
1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my mouth, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any
way.
6. If I’m chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it’s mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down,
it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.
1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my mouth, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any
way.
6. If I’m chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it’s mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down,
it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.
☼
* The reason old men use Viagra is not because theyre
impotent. Its because old women are so very ugly.
* The reason old men use Viagra is not because theyre
impotent. Its because old women are so very ugly.
☼
* Does it ever amaze and delight you that of all the
places in the world, cold grassy nests under hedgerows,
warm patches of sun on a carpet, the cat chooses to sit
on your lap?
places in the world, cold grassy nests under hedgerows,
warm patches of sun on a carpet, the cat chooses to sit
on your lap?
☼
* It's time to diet and exercise when you accept the
fact that you can fool some of the people all of the time
and all of the people some of the time, but not while
you're wearing a bathing suit.
fact that you can fool some of the people all of the time
and all of the people some of the time, but not while
you're wearing a bathing suit.
☼
* The college football player knew his way around the
locker room better than he did the library.
So whenThe libarian saw the gridiron star
roaming the stacks looking confused, she asked how
she could help.
"I have to read a play by Shakespeare," he said.
"Which one?" she asked.
He scanned the shelves and answered, "William."
locker room better than he did the library.
So whenThe libarian saw the gridiron star
roaming the stacks looking confused, she asked how
she could help.
"I have to read a play by Shakespeare," he said.
"Which one?" she asked.
He scanned the shelves and answered, "William."
☼
* My buddy applied for a job as an insurance
salesperson.
Where the form requested "prior experience."
he wrote "lifeguard."
That was it...... Nothing else.
"We're looking for someone who can not only sell
insurance, but who can sell himself,"
said the hiring manager.
"How does working as a lifeguard pertain to
salesmanship?
"I couldn't swim," my pal replied......... He got the job.
salesperson.
Where the form requested "prior experience."
he wrote "lifeguard."
That was it...... Nothing else.
"We're looking for someone who can not only sell
insurance, but who can sell himself,"
said the hiring manager.
"How does working as a lifeguard pertain to
salesmanship?
"I couldn't swim," my pal replied......... He got the job.
☼
* Pete was reading this book today, 'The History Of Glue'.
He couldn't put it down......
He couldn't put it down......
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Pete's Thought of the day.....
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all
possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.
- James Branch Cabell
possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.
- James Branch Cabell
Rae's Trivia.....
The largest cell in the human body is the female ovum,
or egg cell.
It is about 1/180 inch in diameter.
The smallest cell in the human body is the male sperm.
It takes about 175,000 sperm cells to weigh as much
as a single egg cell.
Hence, even in the beginning, women have more
substance than men.
or egg cell.
It is about 1/180 inch in diameter.
The smallest cell in the human body is the male sperm.
It takes about 175,000 sperm cells to weigh as much
as a single egg cell.
Hence, even in the beginning, women have more
substance than men.
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