Going to be a nice 85º day....
But the temp will be going backup
thru the weekend....
☼
Someone is Happy.....
It's just another day for some of us......
☼
Yes, their terrible drivers.....
☼
Next thing you know, he will be on T.V.
Send money.....
☼
Yeah, I believe yah!
☼
You heard him the first time....
He's serious....
☼
What this was??
Does it quack or meow?
☼
Call, LACO.....Help...
☼
I think we all have had this at one time or another......
☼
Looks cool, on his scooter....
But I don't thing he'll pick up many girls....
☼
Never work....ya need both hands free....
☼
You have heard "it's over when the fat lady sings..
Well this means i must go......
☼
☼
♥♥♥
* Sitting through fire safety and prevention programs
can make anyone nod off.
So the instructor tried to lighten the mood by going
around the room asking where all the guests were from.
"Burnt Mattress, Arkansas," called out Petewete sitting
next to me.
"Burnt Mattress!" said the instructor, suppressing a
laugh.
"I've heard some unusual town names before,
but never that one...... Where's it located?"
Petewete shot back, "Right above Hot Springs."
can make anyone nod off.
So the instructor tried to lighten the mood by going
around the room asking where all the guests were from.
"Burnt Mattress, Arkansas," called out Petewete sitting
next to me.
"Burnt Mattress!" said the instructor, suppressing a
laugh.
"I've heard some unusual town names before,
but never that one...... Where's it located?"
Petewete shot back, "Right above Hot Springs."
☼
~ Over breakfast one morning, Pat said to her husband,
"I bet you don't know what day this is."
"Of course I do," Pete indignantly answered,
getting up from the table and going out the door to work.
At 10am, the doorbell rang.
When Pat opened the door, she was handed a box
containing a dozen long-stemmed red roses.
At 1pm, a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite
chocolates arrived.
Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.
Pat couldn't wait for her husband to come home.
When he did, she exclaimed, "First the flowers,
then the chocolates and then the dress!
I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in
my life!"
"I bet you don't know what day this is."
"Of course I do," Pete indignantly answered,
getting up from the table and going out the door to work.
At 10am, the doorbell rang.
When Pat opened the door, she was handed a box
containing a dozen long-stemmed red roses.
At 1pm, a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite
chocolates arrived.
Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.
Pat couldn't wait for her husband to come home.
When he did, she exclaimed, "First the flowers,
then the chocolates and then the dress!
I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in
my life!"
☼
~ Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch,
HE decides what time it is.
HE decides what time it is.
☼
~ One of my friends has a stutter, and a lot of people
think thats a bad thing, but to me thats just like starting
certain words with a drum roll.
Thats not an impediment, thats suspense.
think thats a bad thing, but to me thats just like starting
certain words with a drum roll.
Thats not an impediment, thats suspense.
☼
~ Eager to make good, a young office employee was
thrilled to be given a new title:
Executive Director of Personal Energy Management.
His excitement diminished when he found out that it
meant he was in charge of stocking the break room with
doughnuts and coffee.
thrilled to be given a new title:
Executive Director of Personal Energy Management.
His excitement diminished when he found out that it
meant he was in charge of stocking the break room with
doughnuts and coffee.
☼
* Our Dixieland band was hired to perform at a funeral,
but our stubborn bandleader flat-out refused to play any
songs remotely religious.
"I don't believe in it, and I won't play it," he insisted.
" So what tune can you play? he was asked.
After giving the question some thought, he said,
"How about, "Don't get Around Much Anymore?"
but our stubborn bandleader flat-out refused to play any
songs remotely religious.
"I don't believe in it, and I won't play it," he insisted.
" So what tune can you play? he was asked.
After giving the question some thought, he said,
"How about, "Don't get Around Much Anymore?"
☼
* A bus driver accidentally left a passenger behind
after they had stopped for lunch.
Wanting to apologize, the driver called the passenger
on the phone.
"I don't blame you," the woman told him,
"but I'm mad at my husband for not informing you that
I wasn't on the bus."
after they had stopped for lunch.
Wanting to apologize, the driver called the passenger
on the phone.
"I don't blame you," the woman told him,
"but I'm mad at my husband for not informing you that
I wasn't on the bus."
☼
* We purchased an old home in northern New York State
from two elderly sisters.
Winter was fast approaching, and I was concerned about
the house's lack of insulation.
"If they could live here all those years, so can we!"
my husband confidently declared.
One November night the temperature plunged to below
zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with
frost.
My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept
the house warm.
After a brief conversation, he hung up.
"For the past 30 years," he muttered,
"they've gone to Florida for the winter."
* We purchased an old home in northern New York State
from two elderly sisters.
Winter was fast approaching, and I was concerned about
the house's lack of insulation.
"If they could live here all those years, so can we!"
my husband confidently declared.
One November night the temperature plunged to below
zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with
frost.
My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept
the house warm.
After a brief conversation, he hung up.
"For the past 30 years," he muttered,
"they've gone to Florida for the winter."
☼
* The voice-dictation program a physician friend of
mine purchased for his computer often misinterpreted
words.
Once, my friend dictated, "Recommend CAT scan if
symptoms persist."
The program typed out, "Recommend casket if
symptoms persist."
mine purchased for his computer often misinterpreted
words.
Once, my friend dictated, "Recommend CAT scan if
symptoms persist."
The program typed out, "Recommend casket if
symptoms persist."
☼
* Everyone has a right to make money.
A sign posted at a local pub reads "Be safe: Don't drink
and drive.
But please still drink."
A sign posted at a local pub reads "Be safe: Don't drink
and drive.
But please still drink."
☼
* While in the men's room at a beach park in Florida,
I noticed they had a plastic baby-changing table
installed on the wall.
Apparently, some sportsmen had co-opted this
politically correct amenity for their own use.
Above the table was a sign saying:
"It is unlawful to clean fish on this table."
I noticed they had a plastic baby-changing table
installed on the wall.
Apparently, some sportsmen had co-opted this
politically correct amenity for their own use.
Above the table was a sign saying:
"It is unlawful to clean fish on this table."
☼
☼
Pete's Thought for today..
It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom.
It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might
weaken and the wisest might err. - Mahatma Gandhi
It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might
weaken and the wisest might err. - Mahatma Gandhi
Rae's Trivia......
The name of the Pilgrims’second ship was the
Speedwell.
However, unlike the Mayflower, it had to turn back
because it wasn’t seaworthy.
Speedwell.
However, unlike the Mayflower, it had to turn back
because it wasn’t seaworthy.
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