weather...I'm reading 55.9º this morning....
Partly Sunny today...and in the 70-80's...
☺
I like sitting on the deck, watching the Hummers...
We have quite a few now...
☺
"Maggie' just lays there watching them too.
And the Hummers watch her too....
☺
She sez; My fishy's...
and you can't have any......
☺
Yeah, well one's getting away......
☺
He thought that was funny.....too.
☺
Cat fight-Cat fight....I like watching that....
☺
Okay....thanks....
☺
The critter is thirsty..... gotta fill them humps...
☺
I like good old "Eno".....
☺
Well, time to be heading out....
See you in the morning.....
☺
☺
♥♥♥
~ "I don't know if laws were broken or not, but Weiner
was sending around pictures of him in his underpants
and I thought, Well, now, wait a minute, what is the big
deal?
Don't men and women in Congress get to mail their
packages for free?!" —David Letterman
was sending around pictures of him in his underpants
and I thought, Well, now, wait a minute, what is the big
deal?
Don't men and women in Congress get to mail their
packages for free?!" —David Letterman
☺
~ A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking,
but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely
beautiful when her Lips are closed !
~ A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking,
but a wise man tells her that she looks extremely
beautiful when her Lips are closed !
☺
~ A Jewish grandmother giving directions to her grown
grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment complex.
I am in apartment 14T.
There is a big panel at the door.
With your elbow push button 14T.
I will buzz you in.
Come inside, the elevator is on the right.
Get in, and with your elbow hit 14.
When you get out I am on the left.
With your elbow, hit my doorbell".
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all
these buttons with my elbow"?
"You're coming empty handed"?
grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment complex.
I am in apartment 14T.
There is a big panel at the door.
With your elbow push button 14T.
I will buzz you in.
Come inside, the elevator is on the right.
Get in, and with your elbow hit 14.
When you get out I am on the left.
With your elbow, hit my doorbell".
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all
these buttons with my elbow"?
"You're coming empty handed"?
☺
~ How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?
Give her a bottle of shampoo which says
"lather, rinse, repeat."
Give her a bottle of shampoo which says
"lather, rinse, repeat."
☺
~ A father was approached by his small son, who told
him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you
know' what the Bible means?"
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "
So, son, what does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy.
It stands for 'Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.'
him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you
know' what the Bible means?"
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "
So, son, what does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy.
It stands for 'Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.'
☺
~ A group of burglars were robbing a bank.
One of them pointed a gun at a teller's head and shouted:
"Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!"
The cashier laughed and said, "You mean H I S T O R Y!"
The burglar shouted back, "Don't change the subject."
One of them pointed a gun at a teller's head and shouted:
"Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!"
The cashier laughed and said, "You mean H I S T O R Y!"
The burglar shouted back, "Don't change the subject."
☺
~ Parents are expected to participate in their children’s
education, and my friends were no exception.
They gladly help their fifth-grade son, Andrew, whenever
he’s stumped.
One day after school, Andrew ran into the house waving a
paper in the air.
“Hey, Mom, great news!
There were only three mistakes on my math homework,”
he announced.
“You made one, Dad made one and I made one!”
education, and my friends were no exception.
They gladly help their fifth-grade son, Andrew, whenever
he’s stumped.
One day after school, Andrew ran into the house waving a
paper in the air.
“Hey, Mom, great news!
There were only three mistakes on my math homework,”
he announced.
“You made one, Dad made one and I made one!”
☺
~ The billionaire’s wealth was so unimaginably vast it
could only be measured on the rich-turd scale.
could only be measured on the rich-turd scale.
☺
~ Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching
TV by candlelight?
TV by candlelight?
☺
~ Dear Abby. I was married to Bill for three months and
I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home
sober.
I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home
sober.
☺
~ 12-Step Internet Recovery Program
1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read
my newspaper like I used to, before the Internet.
2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with
one hand typing.
3. I will get dressed before noon.
4. I will make an attempt to clean the house,
wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of
the Internet.
5. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate
few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.
6. I will call someone on the phone who I cannot
contact via the Internet.
7. I will read a book...if I still remember how.
8. I will listen to those around me and their needs and
stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the
music on the Internet.
9. I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check
for email.
10.I will try and get out of the house at least once a
week, if it is necessary or not.
11.I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I
forget to balance my chequebook because I was too
busy on the Internet.
12.Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to
bed sometime ... and the Internet will always be there
tomorrow!
Nahhhh, no way!
1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read
my newspaper like I used to, before the Internet.
2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with
one hand typing.
3. I will get dressed before noon.
4. I will make an attempt to clean the house,
wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of
the Internet.
5. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate
few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.
6. I will call someone on the phone who I cannot
contact via the Internet.
7. I will read a book...if I still remember how.
8. I will listen to those around me and their needs and
stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the
music on the Internet.
9. I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check
for email.
10.I will try and get out of the house at least once a
week, if it is necessary or not.
11.I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I
forget to balance my chequebook because I was too
busy on the Internet.
12.Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to
bed sometime ... and the Internet will always be there
tomorrow!
Nahhhh, no way!
☺
☺
Todays Thought:
Doubt is not a pleasant condition,
but certainty is absurd.- Voltaire
but certainty is absurd.- Voltaire
Rae's Trivia....
Comedian Groucho Marx took a turn as a game-show
host in 1947.
With his film career stalling, he was hired to host a
radio show called You Bet Your Life.
The show was designed to highlight Marx’s witty humor,
but most of his ad-libs were actually scripted.
It eventually became one of early TV’s biggest hits...
host in 1947.
With his film career stalling, he was hired to host a
radio show called You Bet Your Life.
The show was designed to highlight Marx’s witty humor,
but most of his ad-libs were actually scripted.
It eventually became one of early TV’s biggest hits...
No comments:
Post a Comment