Ready for a good weekend...
Not so hot, so a good one....
☼
Maybe some Donuts, this morning...Pete..?
☼
Or would you want something more substantial ?
☼
Yeah, hold it down..
I can't hear myself think....
☼
I said...hold down the noise.....
Are you deaf??
☼
Now, you went and done it.....
☼
What! are you a slow reader??
☼
Okay, okay...you got me scared...
☼
Should have emptyed the water first...?
Not a great idea, anyway.....
☼
Nah, honey....been fixed....
☼
Why..? is it coming?
Yes... Run, Petewete is loose...
☼
Now, is I can get off the rock, I'll leave..
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~~ Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by
the UN.
The only question asked was:"Could you please give
your honest opinion about solutions to the food
shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a massive failure because of the
following:
1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest"
meant.
2. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage"
meant.
3. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
4. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
5. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution"
meant.
6. In South America they didn't know what "please"
meant.
7. In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the
world" meant.
8. In Canada: They all hung up as soon as they heard
the East Indian accent.
the UN.
The only question asked was:"Could you please give
your honest opinion about solutions to the food
shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a massive failure because of the
following:
1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest"
meant.
2. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage"
meant.
3. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
4. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
5. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution"
meant.
6. In South America they didn't know what "please"
meant.
7. In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the
world" meant.
8. In Canada: They all hung up as soon as they heard
the East Indian accent.
☼
~~ Ole, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait
Artist.
His fame grew and soon people from all over the country
were coming to him in Minnesota for paintings.
One day, a beautiful young woman pulled up to his house
in a stretch limo.
She asked Ole if he would paint her in the nude?
This was the first time anyone had made this request.
The beautiful lady said money was no object; she was
willing to pay $50,000.
Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife,
Ole asked the lady to wait while he went in the house and
conferred with Lena, his missus.
In a few minutes he returned and said to the lady,
"Ya, shoor, you betcha.
I'll paint ya in da nude, but I'll haff 'ta leave my socks on
so I'll have a place to wipe my brushes."
Artist.
His fame grew and soon people from all over the country
were coming to him in Minnesota for paintings.
One day, a beautiful young woman pulled up to his house
in a stretch limo.
She asked Ole if he would paint her in the nude?
This was the first time anyone had made this request.
The beautiful lady said money was no object; she was
willing to pay $50,000.
Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife,
Ole asked the lady to wait while he went in the house and
conferred with Lena, his missus.
In a few minutes he returned and said to the lady,
"Ya, shoor, you betcha.
I'll paint ya in da nude, but I'll haff 'ta leave my socks on
so I'll have a place to wipe my brushes."
☼
~~ Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time.
It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite
him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades,
and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out
of jail free’ card.
It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite
him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades,
and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out
of jail free’ card.
☼
~~ If at first you try and don't succeed, cheat.
Repeat until caught. Then lie!
☼
~~ Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on
a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
☼
~~ I got an e-mail saying I won $18,000,000....
and then I got another e-mail saying I won a car!
Wow! what kind of Friday is that?!?
So, I told the car guys to send it to my Nigerean banker to
cover the transaction fee so I can get my $18,000,000.
I should be seeing the check any day, now.
☼
~~ Cheerfulness is contagious, but don't wait to catch
it from others....... Be a "carrier."
it from others....... Be a "carrier."
☼
~~ Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients
being discharged.
However, while working as a student aide,
Sam found one elderly gentleman already dressed and
sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted
he didn’t need Sam’s help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let
Sam wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down Sam asked him if his wife was meeting
him.
I don’t know,” he said.
“She is still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her
hospital gown.”
being discharged.
However, while working as a student aide,
Sam found one elderly gentleman already dressed and
sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted
he didn’t need Sam’s help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let
Sam wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down Sam asked him if his wife was meeting
him.
I don’t know,” he said.
“She is still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her
hospital gown.”
☼
~~ Old age is when you still have something on the ball,
but you are too tired to bounce it.
but you are too tired to bounce it.
☼
~~ A detective on the force who spent his entire career
in plain clothes, retired from the police force and bought
a farm.
"What kind of crops do you plan to grow?" the police
chief asked the farmer-to-be.
"Carrots and potatoes," the man replied.
"Why did you decide on carrots and potatoes?"
asked the chief.
"Because," answered the ex-detective, . . .
"I'm very fond of undercover crops."
in plain clothes, retired from the police force and bought
a farm.
"What kind of crops do you plan to grow?" the police
chief asked the farmer-to-be.
"Carrots and potatoes," the man replied.
"Why did you decide on carrots and potatoes?"
asked the chief.
"Because," answered the ex-detective, . . .
"I'm very fond of undercover crops."
☼
☼
todays thought;
Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety-nine per
cent perspiration. - Thomas Alva Edison
cent perspiration. - Thomas Alva Edison
Rae's Trivia....
Bat droppings in caves support whole ecosystems of
unique organisms, including bacteria useful in
detoxifying wastes, improving detergents, and
producing gasohol and antibiotics.
unique organisms, including bacteria useful in
detoxifying wastes, improving detergents, and
producing gasohol and antibiotics.
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