Good Morning, friends and neighbors....
Well, a little cooler this morning....
We're supposed to have a great weekend
weather wise......
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I don't know....But it sure looks good...
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Oh, no... you turned Ugly......
I couldn't help myself.....
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Yep...there you are in my bowl....
Now get OUT!
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Oh, NO.... not my lunch........
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I think your too big to fit in that box.......
So you better watch out........
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I glad someone checks behind me.....
because I've been known to mess up......
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Yes and today is Caturday......
Look out!
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Why you scare me ???
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I think I'll need a little more then that off!!
Kinda hard to sit in......
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Are you gonna leave my Sammach alone??
or did I have to get mean??
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Well, is it a car or a tractor.......
I think it's a tractor-car.......
looks cool..
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♥♥♥
~ Two Greene football players are taking a college
exam.
If they fail they will not be allowed to play in next week's
big game.
The exam is fill-in-the-blank.
The last question reads,
"Old MacDonald had a ______."
Well, Bubba is stumped.
He has no idea what the answer might be.
He knows he needs to get this one right to be sure he
passes. So, Bubba looks around to make sure the
professor isn't watching and then taps Jethro on the
shoulder.
"Psst! Jethro..... What's the answer to the last question?"
Jethro laughs.
He looks around to make sure they isn’t watchin and
then Jethro turns to Bubba and says, "Bubba, man
you're so stupid.
Everybody knows that Old MacDonald had a farm."
"Ohhhh," says Bubba.
"I remember." So, Bubba starts filling in the blank,
but stops.
He again reaches over and taps Jethro’s shoulder and
whispers, "Hey, how do you spell farm?"
"Man Bubba, you really are brainless.
Duh? That's EASY! Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."
exam.
If they fail they will not be allowed to play in next week's
big game.
The exam is fill-in-the-blank.
The last question reads,
"Old MacDonald had a ______."
Well, Bubba is stumped.
He has no idea what the answer might be.
He knows he needs to get this one right to be sure he
passes. So, Bubba looks around to make sure the
professor isn't watching and then taps Jethro on the
shoulder.
"Psst! Jethro..... What's the answer to the last question?"
Jethro laughs.
He looks around to make sure they isn’t watchin and
then Jethro turns to Bubba and says, "Bubba, man
you're so stupid.
Everybody knows that Old MacDonald had a farm."
"Ohhhh," says Bubba.
"I remember." So, Bubba starts filling in the blank,
but stops.
He again reaches over and taps Jethro’s shoulder and
whispers, "Hey, how do you spell farm?"
"Man Bubba, you really are brainless.
Duh? That's EASY! Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."
☼
~ You might be a redneck if the interveiwer asks,
“Did you know that we are a Fourtune 500 Company?”
And you answer '“What track do y'all sponsor that race
at?
I ain't been to that one yet.”
“Did you know that we are a Fourtune 500 Company?”
And you answer '“What track do y'all sponsor that race
at?
I ain't been to that one yet.”
☼
~ A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would
get the electric chair.
His brother found out that a red neck was on the jury
and figured he would be the one to bribe.
He told the red neck that he would be paid $10,000 if
he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the
charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a
verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the red neck's house,
told him what a great job he had done and paid him the
$10,000.
The red neck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the
rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter.
They all wanted to let him go.
get the electric chair.
His brother found out that a red neck was on the jury
and figured he would be the one to bribe.
He told the red neck that he would be paid $10,000 if
he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the
charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a
verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the red neck's house,
told him what a great job he had done and paid him the
$10,000.
The red neck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the
rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter.
They all wanted to let him go.
☼
~ According to Modern Bride magazine, the average
bride spends 150 hours planning her wedding.
The average groom spends 150 hours going,
"Yea, sounds good."
bride spends 150 hours planning her wedding.
The average groom spends 150 hours going,
"Yea, sounds good."
☼
~ My boyfriend and I were taking his 19-year-old niece
to a weekend festival.
When we arrived at her house to pick her up, she
appeared in tasteful but very short shorts, and a tank
top with spaghetti straps.
A debate began immediately about appropriate dress.
I took the girl's side recalling that when we began
dating I dressed the same way.
"Yes," said my boyfriend sternly, "and I said something
about it, didn't I?"
Everyone looked at me. "Yeah," I replied."
"You said, 'What's your phone number?"
to a weekend festival.
When we arrived at her house to pick her up, she
appeared in tasteful but very short shorts, and a tank
top with spaghetti straps.
A debate began immediately about appropriate dress.
I took the girl's side recalling that when we began
dating I dressed the same way.
"Yes," said my boyfriend sternly, "and I said something
about it, didn't I?"
Everyone looked at me. "Yeah," I replied."
"You said, 'What's your phone number?"
☼
~ Three people were arguing about what profession was
used first in the bible.
The Surgeon says, "The Medical profession was used
first when God took a rib from Adam and made Eve.
The Engineer says, "No, engineering was used first.
Just think of the engineering job it took to create the
world out of chaos.
The Politician says, "You would have nothing if we didn't
create chaos in the beginning?
used first in the bible.
The Surgeon says, "The Medical profession was used
first when God took a rib from Adam and made Eve.
The Engineer says, "No, engineering was used first.
Just think of the engineering job it took to create the
world out of chaos.
The Politician says, "You would have nothing if we didn't
create chaos in the beginning?
☼
~ Our priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin
brother, also a priest, to fill in for him and conduct a
funeral Mass scheduled for that day.
His brother, of course, agreed.
It was not until the brother was accompanying the
casket down the aisle, however, that he realized that he
had neglected to ask the sex of the deceased.
This was information that he would need for his remarks
during the service.
As he approached the first pew where the deceased's
relatives were seated, he nodded toward the casket and
whispered to one woman, "Brother or sister?"
"Cousin," she replied.
brother, also a priest, to fill in for him and conduct a
funeral Mass scheduled for that day.
His brother, of course, agreed.
It was not until the brother was accompanying the
casket down the aisle, however, that he realized that he
had neglected to ask the sex of the deceased.
This was information that he would need for his remarks
during the service.
As he approached the first pew where the deceased's
relatives were seated, he nodded toward the casket and
whispered to one woman, "Brother or sister?"
"Cousin," she replied.
☼
~ There are three girls going to a water park for the day.
One is brunette, one is a redhead and the last is a
blonde.
When they get to the park, they see a Magic Wishing
Slide.
They decide to give it a go.
The brunette is the first to go down the slide.
She yells 'Monneeeeeeeey!!!'.
When she shoots out of the end of the slide, she lands
in a pool of money.
The redhead is next........ She slides down and
yells 'Chocccollate!!!'. When she shoots out of the end,
she landed in a pool of chocolate.
The blonde slides down screaming
'WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'.
When she shoots out of the end, she lands in a pool of...
WEE!!!
One is brunette, one is a redhead and the last is a
blonde.
When they get to the park, they see a Magic Wishing
Slide.
They decide to give it a go.
The brunette is the first to go down the slide.
She yells 'Monneeeeeeeey!!!'.
When she shoots out of the end of the slide, she lands
in a pool of money.
The redhead is next........ She slides down and
yells 'Chocccollate!!!'. When she shoots out of the end,
she landed in a pool of chocolate.
The blonde slides down screaming
'WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'.
When she shoots out of the end, she lands in a pool of...
WEE!!!
☼
~ There was a brunette walking on a railroad track
saying, " 22, 22, 22, 22..."
A blonde walking near-by heard the brunette.
So, the blonde asked if she could join the brunette.
The brunette said sure and together they said,
" 22, 22, 22, 22.."
Later on a train comes down the track.
The brunette jumps off, but the blonde is not so lucky.
So, the brunette jumps back on the track after the train
is gone and says, "23, 23, 23, 23..."
saying, " 22, 22, 22, 22..."
A blonde walking near-by heard the brunette.
So, the blonde asked if she could join the brunette.
The brunette said sure and together they said,
" 22, 22, 22, 22.."
Later on a train comes down the track.
The brunette jumps off, but the blonde is not so lucky.
So, the brunette jumps back on the track after the train
is gone and says, "23, 23, 23, 23..."
☼
~ Two blondes were going to the mall.
When they got out of the car, they started tossing the car
keys back and forth.
One of the blondes missed, and the keys flew into the
sewer drainpipe.
The other blonde tried to reach it but couldn't.
So, she called a locksmith, and a cop.
When the two got there, the blondes explained what
happened, then the cop tried to reach the keys but
couldn't.
Finally the locksmith opened the door.
The blonde that missed the keys in the first place said,
"Whew... for a second there I thought we might of
needed to use the SPARE key."
When they got out of the car, they started tossing the car
keys back and forth.
One of the blondes missed, and the keys flew into the
sewer drainpipe.
The other blonde tried to reach it but couldn't.
So, she called a locksmith, and a cop.
When the two got there, the blondes explained what
happened, then the cop tried to reach the keys but
couldn't.
Finally the locksmith opened the door.
The blonde that missed the keys in the first place said,
"Whew... for a second there I thought we might of
needed to use the SPARE key."
☼
~ The Pope dies and goes to heaven.
When he gets there, Saint Peter shows him to his new
quarters - a tiny one bedroom apartment.
The Pope is horrified and demands to know why he
doesn't have the penthouse apartment, which is huge.
Saint Peter informs him that the resident of the
penthouse is a lawyer.
"A lawyer," says the Pope.
"But I'm the Pope, surely I'm more important than a
lawyer!"
"With respect Sir," says Saint Peter, "We have lots of
Pope's up here, but we only have ONE lawyer!"
When he gets there, Saint Peter shows him to his new
quarters - a tiny one bedroom apartment.
The Pope is horrified and demands to know why he
doesn't have the penthouse apartment, which is huge.
Saint Peter informs him that the resident of the
penthouse is a lawyer.
"A lawyer," says the Pope.
"But I'm the Pope, surely I'm more important than a
lawyer!"
"With respect Sir," says Saint Peter, "We have lots of
Pope's up here, but we only have ONE lawyer!"
☼
~ A lawyer I know once drafted wills for an elderly
husband and wife who had been somewhat
apprehensive about discussing death.
When they arrived to sign the documents, he ushered
the couple into his office.
"Now," he said to them, "which one of you wants to go
first"
husband and wife who had been somewhat
apprehensive about discussing death.
When they arrived to sign the documents, he ushered
the couple into his office.
"Now," he said to them, "which one of you wants to go
first"
☼
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Todays thought:
A critic, is a man who knows the way,
But can't drive the car.....
But can't drive the car.....
Rae's Trivia......
Sharks and rays are the only animals known to man that
cannot succumb to cancer.
Scientists believe this is related to the fact that they
have no bone only cartilage.
They also don’t smoke.
cannot succumb to cancer.
Scientists believe this is related to the fact that they
have no bone only cartilage.
They also don’t smoke.
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