Everybody getting ready for Memorial day?
Fire up the grills........
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Bacon sandwich this morning.....Pete?
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No squirrl for breakfast....
☼
Yeah, you had squirrl for breakfast.....
Hey....I gots plenty of them critters....
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Now...someone wants the Hamster?
Must be hungry.....
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Get outta the the jar....
and quit fooling around...
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Spy's.. around here??
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Now you pay.... Bubba....
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What hair??
done shaved it gone....
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Not a good place to park....
Don't wait to long to move it.....
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Later... I gotta go, I'm parked in the wrong place.....
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♥♥♥
~~ Petewete, fresh out of accounting school, went to a
interview for a good paying job.
The company boss asked various questions about him
and his education, but then asked him, "What is three
times seven?"
"Twenty-two," Petewete replied.
After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator
(he knew he should have taken it to the interview!) and
realized he wouldn't get the job.
About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was
hired for the job!
He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth,
but was still very curious.
The next day, Petewete went in and asked why he got
the job, even though he got such a simple question
wrong.
The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."
interview for a good paying job.
The company boss asked various questions about him
and his education, but then asked him, "What is three
times seven?"
"Twenty-two," Petewete replied.
After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator
(he knew he should have taken it to the interview!) and
realized he wouldn't get the job.
About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was
hired for the job!
He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth,
but was still very curious.
The next day, Petewete went in and asked why he got
the job, even though he got such a simple question
wrong.
The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."
☼
~~ Pete goes into Domino's and orders a pizza,
when it is ready the girl asks him if he wants it cut into
6 pieces or 8,...
oh cut into 6 he says i couldn't eat 8 pieces ..
when it is ready the girl asks him if he wants it cut into
6 pieces or 8,...
oh cut into 6 he says i couldn't eat 8 pieces ..
☼
~~ There was a near tragedy at the local shopping
center recently.
A power outage left four blondes stranded on an
escalator for almost five hours
center recently.
A power outage left four blondes stranded on an
escalator for almost five hours
☼
~~ Sensitive Employee;
To show his appreciation, a newly hired Japanese office
worker bought his boss chocolates.
But when he found the box unopened, the insulted
worker went ballistic, destroying 22 computers.
"I wish the company president had cared a little more,"
the employee’s lawyer said.
To show his appreciation, a newly hired Japanese office
worker bought his boss chocolates.
But when he found the box unopened, the insulted
worker went ballistic, destroying 22 computers.
"I wish the company president had cared a little more,"
the employee’s lawyer said.
☼
~~ The minister’s little six-year-old girl had been so
naughty during the week that her mother decided to
give her the worst kind of punishment.
She told her she couldn’t go to the Sunday School Picnic
on Saturday.
When the day came, her mother felt she had been too
harsh and changed her mind.
When she told the little girl she could go to the picnic,
the child’s reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness.
“What’s the matter? I thought you’d be glad to go to the
picnic.” her mother said.
“It’s too late!” the little girl said.
“I’ve already prayed for rain.”
naughty during the week that her mother decided to
give her the worst kind of punishment.
She told her she couldn’t go to the Sunday School Picnic
on Saturday.
When the day came, her mother felt she had been too
harsh and changed her mind.
When she told the little girl she could go to the picnic,
the child’s reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness.
“What’s the matter? I thought you’d be glad to go to the
picnic.” her mother said.
“It’s too late!” the little girl said.
“I’ve already prayed for rain.”
☼
~~ Did you hear about the welsh girl who wanted
to get dirty with her boy friend......
he took her down a coal mine..
to get dirty with her boy friend......
he took her down a coal mine..
☼
~~ Funny wanted ad;
Coffin wanted.....
Can’t pay my rent, I need a place to sleep.
Would be ideal if its waterproof.
Cheers.
Coffin wanted.....
Can’t pay my rent, I need a place to sleep.
Would be ideal if its waterproof.
Cheers.
☼
~~ Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
☼
~~ An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman bought
a bottle of good whiskey and marked The bottle into
three clear portions -
The one on the top for The Englishman,
The one in the middle for The Scotsman and The one on
The bottom for the Irishman.
They decided to go to bed and drink the whiskey The next
day.
However, when they got up the next morning,
the Englishman and the Scotsman were dismayed
to find that the whiskey was all gone.
So they woke the Irishman from his drunken slumbers
and asked him to explain.
'I felt like a drink during the night,' said the Irishman,
'so I got up and opened the bottle of whiskey, but I had
to drink through your two portions to get to my own.'
a bottle of good whiskey and marked The bottle into
three clear portions -
The one on the top for The Englishman,
The one in the middle for The Scotsman and The one on
The bottom for the Irishman.
They decided to go to bed and drink the whiskey The next
day.
However, when they got up the next morning,
the Englishman and the Scotsman were dismayed
to find that the whiskey was all gone.
So they woke the Irishman from his drunken slumbers
and asked him to explain.
'I felt like a drink during the night,' said the Irishman,
'so I got up and opened the bottle of whiskey, but I had
to drink through your two portions to get to my own.'
☼
~~Computers.
Hard to figure out and never have enough
memory.
Hard to figure out and never have enough
memory.
☼
~~ I love playing Santa at the mall.
But parents often have trouble getting young children
to sit on my knee.
It took a lot of coaxing for one little girl to perch there,
so I got straight to the point.
"What do you want most of all for Christmas?" I asked.
She answered, "Down!"
But parents often have trouble getting young children
to sit on my knee.
It took a lot of coaxing for one little girl to perch there,
so I got straight to the point.
"What do you want most of all for Christmas?" I asked.
She answered, "Down!"
☼
~~ Life Experience;
Experience is a great teacher, especially if it’s someone
else who’s learning from his mistakes.
These are good examples.....
"When holding a DVD in one hand and food in the other,
remember which hand has what when you take a bite."
Experience is a great teacher, especially if it’s someone
else who’s learning from his mistakes.
These are good examples.....
"When holding a DVD in one hand and food in the other,
remember which hand has what when you take a bite."
"When running errands where one stop involves going
to a bank and one involves dropping off a firearm,
drop off the firearm first."
"If you’re prone to impulse purchases, stick to shoes,
not tattoos."
"When attending a funeral, never clap after the eulogy,
regardless of how meaningful and heartfelt it was."
☼
☼
Todays Thought: "Courage is the most important of all the virtues,
because without courage you can't practice any other
virtue consistently.
You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing
consistently without courage." - Maya Angelou
because without courage you can't practice any other
virtue consistently.
You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing
consistently without courage." - Maya Angelou
Rae's Trivia..... Here's a couple for ya...
The expression three dog night originated with the
Eskimos and means a very cold night...
so cold that you have to bed down with three dogs to
keep warm.
Eskimos and means a very cold night...
so cold that you have to bed down with three dogs to
keep warm.
The first rubber heel for shoes was patented on
January 24, 1899 by Humphrey O’Sullivan.
O’Sullivan, an Irish-American, found that his rubber heel
outlasted the leather heel then in use.
January 24, 1899 by Humphrey O’Sullivan.
O’Sullivan, an Irish-American, found that his rubber heel
outlasted the leather heel then in use.
(((((((((O)))))))
1 comment:
:^)
I'd never heard the expression 3 dog night It's a good one though. I still go through heels like there's no tomorrow... rubber or not
Rae xx
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