# 1295

Good Morning , Friends& neighbors...
The weather sure weird ot west....
We are getting some storms here,
but not anyway near as bad as they
have been getting....
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No, I had  some goodness...dummies....

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See, I had gravy and biscuits, with lots of sausage bits..

Which I like.....

now who's a dumbass??

Don't answer that....

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Yes, quite...often....

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Yep...you gotta watch them every minute....

Damn... he stays there...

likes were it's warm....

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Oh, NO!  why?

What did I do to you??

Oh, no....not my socks too??

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Well, I'm not.. they done messed my clothes up....

and your PLEASED?

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The "Garden Gnome" is not pleased...

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"Boss...we has got a problem.....

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Pete... Wanna rent this cabin?

Can let you have it cheap??

I don't know about you....

but I wouldn't touch it!

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♥♥♥

 The other night me and my girlfriend had an

argument just before bed.
She called me childish and said I have to sleep on the
couch.
But the jokes on her, because I built a fort out of the
cushions on the couch and i hung a "Girls Not Allowed"
 sign up.

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~~  An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on

Thanksgiving Day.

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~~  A Western Buddhist woman was in India, studying

with her teacher.
She was riding with another woman friend in a rickshaw-
like carriage, when they were attacked by a man on the
street.
In the end, the attacker only succeeded in frightening
the women, but the Buddhist woman was quite upset by
the event and told her teacher so.
She asked him what she should have done -
what would have been the appropriate,
Buddhist response.
The teacher said very simply, "You should have very
mindfully and with great compassion whacked the
attacker over the head with your umbrella."

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~~  Every time someone predicts the date of the end

of the world, God pushes the date back a little just to be
funny.

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~~  If, by some incredible space-time paradox,

Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win.
Period.

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~~  Friend: “I suppose you carry a memento of some

sort in that locket of yours?”
 Woman: “Yes, it’s a lock of my husband’s hair.”
 Friend: “But your husband is still alive.”
 Woman: “I know, but his hair is gone.”

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~~  While the choice of words might be off,

a pharmacy near Dover Air Force Base in Delaware is
doing its part to help soldiers serving abroad.
A sign in the store reads: Place suggestive items in
donation box to be sent to our soldiers overseas.

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~~  A Sunday school teacher challenged her children to take

some time on Sunday afternoon to write a letter to God.
They were to bring back their letter the following Sunday.
One little boy wrote, “Dear God, We had a good time at
church today........ Wish you could have been here.”

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 ~~  Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth,

with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been
dropped out of a helicopter. - Dave Barry

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~~  During my first few weeks as a telephone-information

clerk for the local transit system, an inspector helped me
out by answering some calls while I listened on another
phone in order to learn the bus routes.
One caller asked what time the next bus would be at the
stop near his house.
Calvin, the inspector, told him it would be there in about
five minutes.
The gentleman asked which way the bus would be
travelling.
For some reason Calvin pointed his arm and said,
"That way!"
"Thanks," the caller replied and hung up.

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~~  An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman

were taking part in a survey about
tea-drinking habits.
'I always stir my tea with my left hand,'
said The Englishman.
'I always stir my tea with my right hand,'
said The Scotsman.
'Oh me?' said The Irishman, 'I always use a
spoon.'

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~~  Did you hear the one about the man who opened a

dry cleaning business next door to the convent?
He knocked on the door and asked the Mother Superior
if she had any dirty habits.

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Todays Thought:   "The secret of health for both mind and body is not to

mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future,
but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly."
 - Siddhartha Gautama 

Rae's Trivia.....Paul Winchell, the ventriloquist, was not only the voice

of Jerry Mahoney, Knucklehead, and Tigger in the
Winnie the Pooh films, he also invented the artificial
heart.
He donated the patent for it to the University of Utah.