Weather man sez we'll have unsettled
weather for the next few days... meaning showers...
I have 69º this morning....
☼
Want some Donuts for breakfast??
☼
Or maybe some Beer??
☼
☼
Not you...not donuts!
they will rot your teeth.....
☼
I'ze sorry/.....
☼
Best get outta my chair, before
I sit on ya....
☼
What can I say??
☼
You can be anything on the internet...
☼
I bet you would like to get in that beer!!
☼
I've heard of spoiling the child, But......
☼
Well, time to go...
Gotta apply for this job.....
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~~ A father and son went fishing one day.
After a couple hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly
became curious about the world around him.
He asked his father, "How does this boat float?"
The father thought for a moment, then replied,
"I don't rightly know, son."
The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back
to his father, "How do fish breath underwater?"
Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."
A little later the boy asked, "Why is the sky blue?"
Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son."
Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad,
do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"
"Of course not, son.
If you don't ask questions ... you'll never learn anything!"
After a couple hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly
became curious about the world around him.
He asked his father, "How does this boat float?"
The father thought for a moment, then replied,
"I don't rightly know, son."
The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back
to his father, "How do fish breath underwater?"
Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."
A little later the boy asked, "Why is the sky blue?"
Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son."
Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad,
do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"
"Of course not, son.
If you don't ask questions ... you'll never learn anything!"
☼
~~ While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist
capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging
to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore,
the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around
for years!"
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely
toward the shore.
When he was almost there, he asked the guy,
"How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"The sharks got 'em."
~~ While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist
capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging
to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore,
the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around
for years!"
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely
toward the shore.
When he was almost there, he asked the guy,
"How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"The sharks got 'em."
☼
~~ Reckless drivers may find they have plenty of
hearse-power.
hearse-power.
☼
~~ "You and your husband don't seem to have an awful
lot in common," said the new tenant's neighbor.
"Why on earth did you get married?"
"I suppose it was the old business of 'opposites
attract'," was the reply.
"He wasn't pregnant and I was."
lot in common," said the new tenant's neighbor.
"Why on earth did you get married?"
"I suppose it was the old business of 'opposites
attract'," was the reply.
"He wasn't pregnant and I was."
☼
~~ Our dream of owning a country home had come true.
Once a log cabin, it had been added to and expanded
until it stood majestic on a hill, surrounded by shrubs
and a small orchard.
We were proud and happy.
The first two weeks passed untroubled, then the
nightmare began.
he roof leaked, and the sump pump groaned and whined
to a stop.
The electrical wiring turned itself on and off at will.
The fireplace smoked, and birds flew down the chimney.
Finally after months of repairs and a shrunken bank
account, my husband climbed into the shower,
turned it on and called out to me, "Well, honey,
I think we're finished."
Then half the tile slid off the wall.
Once a log cabin, it had been added to and expanded
until it stood majestic on a hill, surrounded by shrubs
and a small orchard.
We were proud and happy.
The first two weeks passed untroubled, then the
nightmare began.
he roof leaked, and the sump pump groaned and whined
to a stop.
The electrical wiring turned itself on and off at will.
The fireplace smoked, and birds flew down the chimney.
Finally after months of repairs and a shrunken bank
account, my husband climbed into the shower,
turned it on and called out to me, "Well, honey,
I think we're finished."
Then half the tile slid off the wall.
☼
~~ On their way to the pharmacy, a five-minute drive,
my husband and three children wondered why other
drivers were honking their horns.
Upon arriving at a set of traffic lights, a lady in the next
lane rolled down her window and yelled,
"Your cat's on the roof!"
my husband and three children wondered why other
drivers were honking their horns.
Upon arriving at a set of traffic lights, a lady in the next
lane rolled down her window and yelled,
"Your cat's on the roof!"
☼
~~ Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted that he...fathered a
child with his maid.
The woman's husband became suspicious when he
realized she was the first maid to make $1 million a year!
child with his maid.
The woman's husband became suspicious when he
realized she was the first maid to make $1 million a year!
☼
~~ Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have put
their former mansion on the market for $23.5 million.
It's not that clean though, because they had a maid but
she was always busy doing other stuff.
their former mansion on the market for $23.5 million.
It's not that clean though, because they had a maid but
she was always busy doing other stuff.
☼
~~ You know what's going to happen....
Arnold will......check into a sex addiction clinic, and next
season the maid will go on 'Dancing with the Stars.'
☼
~~ Descending in a crowded elevator from the rooftop
restaurant, Sherry was jammed between two friends.
As she listened to their conversation, she repeatedly
turned her head towards one, then the other.
Suddenlyshe became aware that the long feather on her
new hat was brushing across the face of the gentleman
wedged in behind her.........She apologized.
"Think nothing of it," he smiled.
"I’m just tickled to be here. "
restaurant, Sherry was jammed between two friends.
As she listened to their conversation, she repeatedly
turned her head towards one, then the other.
Suddenlyshe became aware that the long feather on her
new hat was brushing across the face of the gentleman
wedged in behind her.........She apologized.
"Think nothing of it," he smiled.
"I’m just tickled to be here. "
☼
~~ I had an extended tour of duty in Okinawa in 1958
and was unable to bring my wife and children with me.
After I had been overseas eight months, I received a letter
from my seven-year-old son.
"Dear Dad," he wrote; "I guess Mom has told you we've
got a new pop named John."
I was relieved to learn he had made a spelling error.
He was referring to the recently named Pope John XXIII.
and was unable to bring my wife and children with me.
After I had been overseas eight months, I received a letter
from my seven-year-old son.
"Dear Dad," he wrote; "I guess Mom has told you we've
got a new pop named John."
I was relieved to learn he had made a spelling error.
He was referring to the recently named Pope John XXIII.
☼
~~ Jen sez; My new boyfriend and I were invited to a
dinner party where I would meet his friends for the first
time.
I baked a rum cake for the occasion but mistakenly
added 150-proof rum instead of the usual.
I went ahead and brought it, hoping heat had burned off
the alcohol..... My hope was in vain.
Offered seconds, one fellow replied, "No thanks,
I'm driving."
dinner party where I would meet his friends for the first
time.
I baked a rum cake for the occasion but mistakenly
added 150-proof rum instead of the usual.
I went ahead and brought it, hoping heat had burned off
the alcohol..... My hope was in vain.
Offered seconds, one fellow replied, "No thanks,
I'm driving."
☼
☼
Todays Thought: You can't have self-government without self-discipline.
Paul Harvey
Paul Harvey
Rae's trivia....
Some extras....
Tennis pro Evonne Goolagong’s last name means
"Kangaroo’s Nose" in one of Australia’s Aboriginal
languages.
"Kangaroo’s Nose" in one of Australia’s Aboriginal
languages.
A bird sees everything at once in total focus.
Whereas the human eye is globular and must adjust to
varying distances, the bird’s eye is flat and can take in
everything at once in a single glance.
Whereas the human eye is globular and must adjust to
varying distances, the bird’s eye is flat and can take in
everything at once in a single glance.
If a pin were heated to the same temperature as the
center of the Sun, its fierce heat would set everything
within 60 miles ablaze.
center of the Sun, its fierce heat would set everything
within 60 miles ablaze.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 comment:
Save me a doughnut please?
Cold and wet over here again! Still wearing warm sweaters/jumpers Good trivia
Rae xx
Post a Comment