It was very nice around here....
☼
Pete....What are you doing??
☼
Any way....she thought it was funny......
☼
Oh, come on it wasn't that bad...
☼
Someone has already left a present here....
☼
Wake up lazy....time to get up..
Damn, you can sleep through anything....
☼
Bubba, was not amused.....
☼
Selling Chickens Door to Door.....??
☼
Went to a football game, this was the seat I was given..
☼
Thats what I wanna know??
☼
So true...Try it you just might like it.....
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~~ One Sunday Pete went to church by himself,
and when he returned home, his wife asked,
"Was the sermon good?"
"Yes," Pete told her.
"What was it about?" she asked.
and when he returned home, his wife asked,
"Was the sermon good?"
"Yes," Pete told her.
"What was it about?" she asked.
"Sin."
"What did the minister say?"
"Seems to be against it."
"What did the minister say?"
"Seems to be against it."
( he's a man of few words...)
☼
~~ The adult Sunday school class was discussing
formal and informal prayer, when Pete remarked,
"I do some of my best praying while I'm driving."
From the back of the room, in a quiet voice, Pete's wife
agreed, "I, too, do my best praying while you're driving."
formal and informal prayer, when Pete remarked,
"I do some of my best praying while I'm driving."
From the back of the room, in a quiet voice, Pete's wife
agreed, "I, too, do my best praying while you're driving."
☼
~~ The two partners in a law firm were having lunch
when suddenly one of them jumped up and said,
"I have to go back to the office - I forgot to lock the safe!"
The other partner replied, "What are you worried about?
We're both here."
when suddenly one of them jumped up and said,
"I have to go back to the office - I forgot to lock the safe!"
The other partner replied, "What are you worried about?
We're both here."
☼
~~ I can't quite believe how rude neighbours can be
sometimes.
Last night, I heard our neighbour almost banging our door
down at 3:00am!!!
It's only by pure luck that I happened to be still awake
practicing my bagpipes or I'd have been real mad!
sometimes.
Last night, I heard our neighbour almost banging our door
down at 3:00am!!!
It's only by pure luck that I happened to be still awake
practicing my bagpipes or I'd have been real mad!
☼
~~ Early in his career, P. T. Barnum created an exhibit,
entitled "The Happy Family," consisting of a cage
housing a lion, a tiger, a panther - and a baby lamb.
The remarkable display earned Barnum unprecedented
publicity and attendance figures.
Some time after its opening, Barnum was asked about
his plans for the happy family.
"The display will become a permanent feature,"
he declared, "if the supply of lambs holds out."
entitled "The Happy Family," consisting of a cage
housing a lion, a tiger, a panther - and a baby lamb.
The remarkable display earned Barnum unprecedented
publicity and attendance figures.
Some time after its opening, Barnum was asked about
his plans for the happy family.
"The display will become a permanent feature,"
he declared, "if the supply of lambs holds out."
☼
~~ The young woman entered Dairy Queen and asked,
"What kinds of ice cream do you have?"
"Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the boy wheezed as he
spoke, smacked his chest and seemed unable to
continue.
"Do you have laryngitis?" the young lady asked
sympathetically.
"Nope," he whispered, "Just vanilla, chocolate and
strawberry."
"What kinds of ice cream do you have?"
"Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the boy wheezed as he
spoke, smacked his chest and seemed unable to
continue.
"Do you have laryngitis?" the young lady asked
sympathetically.
"Nope," he whispered, "Just vanilla, chocolate and
strawberry."
☼
~~ Andy came to work one day, limping something awful.
His co-worker, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what
happened.
Andy replied, "Oh, nothing. Just an old hockey injury that
acts up once in awhile."
Josh said, "Gee, I never knew you played hockey."
Andy replied, "No, I don't.
I hurt it last year when I lost \$100 on the Stanley Cup
Play-offs........ I put my foot through the television...."
His co-worker, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what
happened.
Andy replied, "Oh, nothing. Just an old hockey injury that
acts up once in awhile."
Josh said, "Gee, I never knew you played hockey."
Andy replied, "No, I don't.
I hurt it last year when I lost \$100 on the Stanley Cup
Play-offs........ I put my foot through the television...."
☼
~~ Remember that as a teenager you are at the last
stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the
phone is for you.
stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the
phone is for you.
☼
~~ Restless leg syndrome.
Cmon, what kind of horseshit is that?
Its a syndrome?
Restless leg syndrome?
I have no idea what constitutes a syndrome,
but its a hell of a lot more serious than some freakin
wiggly legs.
Cmon, what kind of horseshit is that?
Its a syndrome?
Restless leg syndrome?
I have no idea what constitutes a syndrome,
but its a hell of a lot more serious than some freakin
wiggly legs.
☼
~~ In her first grade class, my friend Elizabeth was
teaching about owls.
She described how the birds swoop down to get their
prey for dinner, then asked the children to draw the scene.
She was puzzled, however, by one drawing of an owl with
its wings neatly folded, its eyes closed and a dead mouse
nearby.
The little girl explained, "It's just like you said:
The owl swoops down and prays before dinner."
teaching about owls.
She described how the birds swoop down to get their
prey for dinner, then asked the children to draw the scene.
She was puzzled, however, by one drawing of an owl with
its wings neatly folded, its eyes closed and a dead mouse
nearby.
The little girl explained, "It's just like you said:
The owl swoops down and prays before dinner."
☼
~~ The famed florist Max Schling once ran a brilliant
ad in The New York Times: The copy, entirely in shorthand,
was clipped by thousands of curious businessmen who
naturally asked their secretaries for a translation.
The ad - addressed to these very secretaries - asked them
to remember Schling when the boss wanted flowers for
his wife!
ad in The New York Times: The copy, entirely in shorthand,
was clipped by thousands of curious businessmen who
naturally asked their secretaries for a translation.
The ad - addressed to these very secretaries - asked them
to remember Schling when the boss wanted flowers for
his wife!
☼
☼
Todats thought: "Courage is being scared to death…
and saddling up anyway." - John Wayne
and saddling up anyway." - John Wayne
Rae's Trivia.....The man behind the Beanie Babies phenomenon of the
late 1990s is still quite a mystery.
Ty Warner has shunned interviews, and the company’s
financial records and phone number are hard to find.
Reports in 1999 identified Warner as a billionaire and
the richest toy maker in the world.
late 1990s is still quite a mystery.
Ty Warner has shunned interviews, and the company’s
financial records and phone number are hard to find.
Reports in 1999 identified Warner as a billionaire and
the richest toy maker in the world.
He purchased New York’s Four Seasons luxury hotel for
$275 million.
$275 million.
><(((º> <º)))><
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