More rain this evening, and t-storms.....
One came up real fast last night....
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Wanna see a sunrise this morning?
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Oh, Wow...We got vampires, too!!
I knew we had zombies......
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A new microsoft program??
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Okay, Okay.....
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Oh, My....
Don't look....
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Thats nice!
what if I don't feed you??
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Now, I'm in a heap of trouble.....
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Yep, I'm afraid it's gone to the dogs....
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Made a mistake, did you??
I think I need some of that, as many as I make.
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Called "Burning the candle at both ends??
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Now this is a handsome couple.....
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♥♥♥
~~ Brevity is next to confusion in the insurance business.
When a client died, her daughter told our agency that she would cancel the home policy the following week,
once her mother's belongings were removed.
Simple right?..... Here's the note that was placed in the
client's file: "Deceased will call next week to cancel
moving her things out."
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~~ It was his first year of religious studies, and already
my six-year-old son was debating the teacher. When told, "God made everything," Michael quickly
stood up.
"God does not make everything," he insisted.
"Most things are made in China."
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~~ When asked, "Do you think all any of us really want,
deep down, is to be loved? famed author and storyteller Garrison Keillor responded:
"No, we want to be rich, to be admired, to eat like a horse
and be skinny as a snake.
To have small children ask for our autographs,
to be on terrific medications that make us calm and witty
and sexy.
To sing Irving Berlin and Gershwin and Porter at the
Oak Room and be described in the Times as 'luminous.'
But in the absence of all that, it's enough to be loved."
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~~ My friend had been pounding the pavement in
search of a job with no luck. Frustrated, she asked her dad to look at her résumé.
He didn't get much further than the first line of her cover
letter before spotting the problem.
"Is it too generic?" she asked.
"I doubt it," said her father.
"Especially since it's addressed 'Dear Sir or Madman."
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~~ During basic training, our drill sergeant asked all
Jewish personnel to make themselves known. Six of us tentatively raised our hands.
Much to our relief, we were given the day off for Rosh
Hashanah.
A few days later, in anticipation of Yom Kippur, the
sergeant again asked for all Jewish personnel to identify
themselves.
This time, every soldier raised his hand.
"Only those who were Jewish last week can be Jewish
this week," declared the sergeant.
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~~ Out on the road recently, I noticed in the next lane a
tentatively driven car from a driving school. The licence plate read PRAY4US.
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~~ I once taught a junior-high reading-skills program.
Each day my students received a page of the newspaper and we discussed the news, ads and photos.
I encouraged them to share an item I would find
interesting.
One student, a shy guy seldom joined the conversation,
but he read his pages diligently.
One day I asked him what he had found.
He said, "Did you know that all these people, every day
die in alphabetical order.
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~~ Once, when my two daughters, Kimberley and
Cassandra, were young the subject of death came up while we were sitting down for dinner.
We talked about what each person in our family would be
called if another passed away.
Kimberley, my youngest, asked, "What would Mom be
if Dad passed away?" A widow, I told her and if I passed
away, Dad would be a widower.
Then she asked, "What would I be if Cassandra passed
away?"
My husband replied, "A suspect."
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~~ Three preachers died and went to heaven.
While waiting for St. Peter to let them in a SWIFT and J.B. HUNT driver show up and St. Peter makes the
preachers step aside.
This baffled the preachers so they asked.
" We've been preaching the good word our whole life,
and you make us step aside and let these truckers in
before us?"
St. Peter replied, "In their first year of driving they have
scared "the hell" out of more people then you ever
preached to."
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~~ I went out with some friends last night and tied one on.
Knowing that I was wasted, I did something that I have
never done before. I took a bus home.
I arrived home safe and warm, which seemed really
surprising as I have never driven a bus before.
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Todays Thought: Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating
between two periods of fighting.
Rae's trivia....Much like today, in the Middle Ages, no one really trusted
anyone else. As someone approached, to alleviate paranoia, he would
hold out his open palm to show that he was not going to
whack your head off with a sword.
This gesture put everybody at ease, and eventually evolved
into the modern custom known as the handshake.
1 comment:
Knowing my luck I would have met someone who was left handed lol.
Love the 'alligator shoes' kitty he's sweet
Rae x
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