Been having on and off thunder storms..
Supposed to be great week end though....
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Miss "Maggie" done took over my bed!!...
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Pete....how about this smoker??
home made 275 oil tank.....
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I wonder why it was so dark in here......
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Oh, no...not that please......
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In my mail box too??
pay the bills while your there.....
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Your not supposed to be in there....
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Mean, are ya....
Time in the slammer will cool you down....
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Arrrrrrrr Matey....
You don't want the slammer time.....
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Thanks...I was looking for that pad.....
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Yer going in the Frog pond......
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Froggy's pond......
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Glad you like it.....
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♥♥♥
~~ I’d just sat down at a Manhattan diner when I noticed
schav on the menu.
Since I hadn’t had a bowl of the cold, sour soup in quite
a while, I ordered some.
"We don’t have it today," said the waitress.
"Oh, you have it only on certain days?" I asked.
"No, we never have it."
I was confused..... "Then why is it on the menu?"
"Oh," she said with a shrug, "some people like it."
schav on the menu.
Since I hadn’t had a bowl of the cold, sour soup in quite
a while, I ordered some.
"We don’t have it today," said the waitress.
"Oh, you have it only on certain days?" I asked.
"No, we never have it."
I was confused..... "Then why is it on the menu?"
"Oh," she said with a shrug, "some people like it."
☼
~~ I hate M&Ms, because..They are so darned hard to peel,
Anyone else have that problem?
~~ I hate M&Ms, because..They are so darned hard to peel,
Anyone else have that problem?
☼
~~ A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park
one morning.
Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird.
"Awww, look at the dead birdie," she says sadly.
The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says,
"Where?..... Where?"
one morning.
Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird.
"Awww, look at the dead birdie," she says sadly.
The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says,
"Where?..... Where?"
☼
~~ Driving to work, Pete had to swerve to avoid a
box that fell out of a truck in front of him.
Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless
driving.
Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the
road.
The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box.
It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am
still going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, Pete asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
Insert Groan here, with a healthy dose of forehead
Slapping
box that fell out of a truck in front of him.
Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless
driving.
Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the
road.
The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box.
It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am
still going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, Pete asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
Insert Groan here, with a healthy dose of forehead
Slapping
☼
~~ On her way home from a long trip, a blonde drove
past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES."
By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned
11 restrooms.
past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES."
By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned
11 restrooms.
☼
~~ A young couple I know, with a newborn baby,
bought a house with a basement rental apartment.
Unfortunately, their baby seemed to cry nonstop,
and the tenants moved out because of the noise.
My friend spent many weeks renovating, making the
apartment as soundproof as possible.
When it was completed, they advertised it in the
newspaper.
The first gentleman who answered the ad loved it and
rented it immediately.
He was deaf.
bought a house with a basement rental apartment.
Unfortunately, their baby seemed to cry nonstop,
and the tenants moved out because of the noise.
My friend spent many weeks renovating, making the
apartment as soundproof as possible.
When it was completed, they advertised it in the
newspaper.
The first gentleman who answered the ad loved it and
rented it immediately.
He was deaf.
☼
~~ Gus was sitting at the defendant table while the
state trooper was being cross-examined on the witness
stand.
The lawyer asked, "When you stopped Gus, were your red
and blue lights flashing?"
"Yes, sir, they were."
"Did the defendant say anything when he got out of his
car?"
"Yes, sir, he did."
"And," looking at Gus, "what was it he said?"
"He said, 'What disco am I at?"
state trooper was being cross-examined on the witness
stand.
The lawyer asked, "When you stopped Gus, were your red
and blue lights flashing?"
"Yes, sir, they were."
"Did the defendant say anything when he got out of his
car?"
"Yes, sir, he did."
"And," looking at Gus, "what was it he said?"
"He said, 'What disco am I at?"
☼
~~ After listening to some bedtime stories a little boy
said to his father, "Snow White was poisoned by an apple,
Jack found a giant on a beanstalk, and just look what
happened to Alice when she ate the mushroom.
And you wonder why I won't eat fruits and vegetables!"
said to his father, "Snow White was poisoned by an apple,
Jack found a giant on a beanstalk, and just look what
happened to Alice when she ate the mushroom.
And you wonder why I won't eat fruits and vegetables!"
☼
~~ "Didn't you say that I weighed eight pounds at birth?"
a boy asked his mother.
She said that yes, he had.
"The scale must have been off," he replied,
checking the encyclopedia.
"Storks don't have the wingspan to carry an eight-pound
load."
a boy asked his mother.
She said that yes, he had.
"The scale must have been off," he replied,
checking the encyclopedia.
"Storks don't have the wingspan to carry an eight-pound
load."
☼
~~ A lady's picking through the frozen turkeys and says
to a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
He says, "No, ma'am, they're dead."
to a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
He says, "No, ma'am, they're dead."
☼
~~ I called my stockbroker and asked him what I should
be buying.
He said, "If the current administration is in office much
longer, canned goods and ammunition is your best bet.
~~ I called my stockbroker and asked him what I should
be buying.
He said, "If the current administration is in office much
longer, canned goods and ammunition is your best bet.
☼
☼
Todays thought: Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
They only function when they are open.
Rae's Trivia....Adolf Hitler’s favorite dog, Blondi, an Alsatian,
was used to make sure his cyanide capsules were lethal.
Hitler used the cyanide to commit suicide when he saw it
worked on Blondi.
was used to make sure his cyanide capsules were lethal.
Hitler used the cyanide to commit suicide when he saw it
worked on Blondi.
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