You wake up in the morning, and you don't know
what to expect.... the prediction is hit or miss.....
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Sometimes we get a pretty Sunrise......
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Sometimes we get some sun, on the deck....
We enjoyed it yesterday......
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Bacon and eggs, this morning.....Pete??
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A gang bangers cat??
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It's Mine.... stay away......
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I don't know... who failed?
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Now you tell me......
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Looks kinda weird to me.....
I don't know if it's real or not.....
Haven't had enough coffee yet!
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Ahhh, Geee Eno.....
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Now I'm confused?
I was born confused, but this is just bad....
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Well, my Ride is here..... Bye!
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♥♥♥
~~ At a church meeting, a very wealthy man rose to tell
the rest of those present about his Christian faith.
"I'm a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the
rich blessings of God in my life.
I remember that turning point in my faith.
I had just earned my first dollar and I went to a church
meeting that night.
The speaker was a missionary who told about his work.
I knew that I only had a dollar bill and I had to either give
it all to God's work or give nothing at all.
So at that moment, I decided to give my whole dollar to
God.
I believe that God blessed that decision, and that is why
I am a rich man today."
When he finished and moved toward his seat,
there was an awed silence As he sat down,
a little old lady sitting in the same pew leaned over and
said to him, "I dare you to do it again."
the rest of those present about his Christian faith.
"I'm a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the
rich blessings of God in my life.
I remember that turning point in my faith.
I had just earned my first dollar and I went to a church
meeting that night.
The speaker was a missionary who told about his work.
I knew that I only had a dollar bill and I had to either give
it all to God's work or give nothing at all.
So at that moment, I decided to give my whole dollar to
God.
I believe that God blessed that decision, and that is why
I am a rich man today."
When he finished and moved toward his seat,
there was an awed silence As he sat down,
a little old lady sitting in the same pew leaned over and
said to him, "I dare you to do it again."
☼
~~ A blonde and brunette are having tea when suddenly
the phone rings.
The blonde picks it up and immediately starts crying.
Her brunette friend asks her, "Why are you crying dear?"
Blonde says, "Because my mom just called and said that
my father just died.
"I'm so sorry," says the brunette.
The blonde finally stops crying, when the phone rings
again..... She picks it up and starts crying again.
The brunette asks again whats wrong, to which the
blonde replies, "My brother just called and said that his
father died too."
~~ A blonde and brunette are having tea when suddenly
the phone rings.
The blonde picks it up and immediately starts crying.
Her brunette friend asks her, "Why are you crying dear?"
Blonde says, "Because my mom just called and said that
my father just died.
"I'm so sorry," says the brunette.
The blonde finally stops crying, when the phone rings
again..... She picks it up and starts crying again.
The brunette asks again whats wrong, to which the
blonde replies, "My brother just called and said that his
father died too."
☼
~~ A Father is asked by his friend, "Has your son
decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"
"Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies.
To this his friend responds, "Strange ambition to have
for a career."
"Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on
Tuesdays!"
~~ A Father is asked by his friend, "Has your son
decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"
"Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies.
To this his friend responds, "Strange ambition to have
for a career."
"Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on
Tuesdays!"
☼
~~ A case manager at our mental-health facility sought
a reference for a patient who was looking for a job.
"I'll vouch for him," offered another patient.
"we were roommates in prison."
a reference for a patient who was looking for a job.
"I'll vouch for him," offered another patient.
"we were roommates in prison."
☼
~~ It was a busy lunch hour, made longer by one of the
customers who couldn't make up his mind about what to
order.
After loudly polling everyone at his table, he asked me,
"What do you think I should have?"
Before I could answer, an irritated man at the next table
offered a suggestion: "How about a picnic?"
customers who couldn't make up his mind about what to
order.
After loudly polling everyone at his table, he asked me,
"What do you think I should have?"
Before I could answer, an irritated man at the next table
offered a suggestion: "How about a picnic?"
☼
~~ After we had lunch with another couple,
the women went shopping, and the men opted to go
sailing.
Bad decision, a storm blew in while we men were out on
the water.
Making matters worse, the tide had gone out, grounding
the boat.
We had to climb overboard and shove it back into deep
water.
As my friend stood there, ankles deep in muck,
muscles straining against the weight of the boat, and
rain pelting his face, he grinned broadly and with
unmistakable sincerity said, "Sure beats shopping!"
the women went shopping, and the men opted to go
sailing.
Bad decision, a storm blew in while we men were out on
the water.
Making matters worse, the tide had gone out, grounding
the boat.
We had to climb overboard and shove it back into deep
water.
As my friend stood there, ankles deep in muck,
muscles straining against the weight of the boat, and
rain pelting his face, he grinned broadly and with
unmistakable sincerity said, "Sure beats shopping!"
☼
~~ A customer called our service line demanding help
with her TV set, which wouldn't come on.
"I'm sorry, but we can't send a technician out today due
to the blizzard," I told her.
Unsatisfied, she barked, "I need my TV fixed today!
What else am I supposed to do while the power is out?!"
with her TV set, which wouldn't come on.
"I'm sorry, but we can't send a technician out today due
to the blizzard," I told her.
Unsatisfied, she barked, "I need my TV fixed today!
What else am I supposed to do while the power is out?!"
☼
~~ One night my friend John and I were sitting at a bar
where he used to work, when an attractive woman,
a former co-worker, came in and sat next to him.
She told him she had just had a fight with her husband,
a police officer, and needed to get out of the house for a
while.
They had been talking for a few minutes when, as a joke,
I leaned over to John.
"Don't look now," I whispered, "but a guy about six-five
just walked in...... And he's got a gun."
Without hesitating, John turned to me. "Quick Ed,"
he said, "kiss me on the lips."
where he used to work, when an attractive woman,
a former co-worker, came in and sat next to him.
She told him she had just had a fight with her husband,
a police officer, and needed to get out of the house for a
while.
They had been talking for a few minutes when, as a joke,
I leaned over to John.
"Don't look now," I whispered, "but a guy about six-five
just walked in...... And he's got a gun."
Without hesitating, John turned to me. "Quick Ed,"
he said, "kiss me on the lips."
☼
~~ This alligator crawls into a bar in Florida.
He slides up on the bar stool, and asks the bartender,
"Hey, do you serve Mexicans, Cubans and Puerto Ricans
in here?"
The bartender replies, "As a matter of fact, we do!"
The alligator says, "Well, then give me one of each.
I'm hungry!"
He slides up on the bar stool, and asks the bartender,
"Hey, do you serve Mexicans, Cubans and Puerto Ricans
in here?"
The bartender replies, "As a matter of fact, we do!"
The alligator says, "Well, then give me one of each.
I'm hungry!"
☼
~~ A man walked into a crowded restaurant and caught
the eye of a harried waiter.
"You know," he said, "it's been ten years since I came
in here,"
"Don't blame me," the waiter snapped.
"I'm working as fast as I can."
the eye of a harried waiter.
"You know," he said, "it's been ten years since I came
in here,"
"Don't blame me," the waiter snapped.
"I'm working as fast as I can."
☼
~~ I had been thinking about colouring my hair.
One day while going through a magazine,
I came across an ad for a hair-colouring product featuring
a beautiful young model with hair a shade that I liked.
Wanting a second opinion, I asked my husband,
"How do you think this colour would look on a face with
a few wrinkles?"
He looked at the picture, crumbled it up, straightened it
out and studied it again..... "Just great, hon."
One day while going through a magazine,
I came across an ad for a hair-colouring product featuring
a beautiful young model with hair a shade that I liked.
Wanting a second opinion, I asked my husband,
"How do you think this colour would look on a face with
a few wrinkles?"
He looked at the picture, crumbled it up, straightened it
out and studied it again..... "Just great, hon."
☼
Todays thought; A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it:
it would be hell on earth.- George Bernard Shaw
it would be hell on earth.- George Bernard Shaw
Rae's Trivia....A bumblebee uses 22 muscles to sting, but it does not
die when it stings, it can sting again and again.
In bumblebee hives, the entire colony, except for the
queen, dies at the end of each summer.
The intense fear of bees is called apiphobia.
die when it stings, it can sting again and again.
In bumblebee hives, the entire colony, except for the
queen, dies at the end of each summer.
The intense fear of bees is called apiphobia.
A bonus....
In the fifteenth century, special laws were decreed to
ensure that the handkerchief was allowed only to the
nobility, since they were generally snots.
ensure that the handkerchief was allowed only to the
nobility, since they were generally snots.
><(((º> <º)))><
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