We're getting some great weather for
awhile....
Get that Smoker going...Pete...
☼
No where, no where... just lookin..
☼
Where... What am I looking for??
☼
You wouldn't....would you??
☼
Time for your bath.......
☼
Just what we need..
A Romeo sea lion.....
Called, getting a drink on the fly...
☼
Now she's a real cutie...
Yah, right.....
☼
Boy friend???
☼
Eno is the lover.....Not!
☼
That will fix him.....
Maybe next time will read the sign....
☼
☼
♥♥♥
~~ Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron
shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain
alcohol.
shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain
alcohol.
☼
~~ Three men were discussing at a bar about
coincidences.
The first man said, " my wife was reading a
"tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins"
"That’s funny", the second man remarked,
"my wife was reading 'the three musketeers'......
and she gave birth to triplets"
The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "
When I left the house, my wife was reading.....
Ali baba and the forty Thieves"!!!
coincidences.
The first man said, " my wife was reading a
"tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins"
"That’s funny", the second man remarked,
"my wife was reading 'the three musketeers'......
and she gave birth to triplets"
The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "
When I left the house, my wife was reading.....
Ali baba and the forty Thieves"!!!
☼
~~ Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh
on four decades.
Gus buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the
bathroom in Pete's yard.
For one whole year Pete ignores the dog.
So Gus then buys a cow and teaches it to use the
bathroom in Pete's yard.
After about a year and a half of Gus's cow crapping in
Pete's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up
in front of Pete's house.
Gus runs over and demands to know what's in the
18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Pete replies solemly.
on four decades.
Gus buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the
bathroom in Pete's yard.
For one whole year Pete ignores the dog.
So Gus then buys a cow and teaches it to use the
bathroom in Pete's yard.
After about a year and a half of Gus's cow crapping in
Pete's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up
in front of Pete's house.
Gus runs over and demands to know what's in the
18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Pete replies solemly.
☼
~~ A minister who was very fond of pure, hot horseradish
always kept a bottle of it on his dining room table.
Once, at dinner, he offered some to a guest, who took a
big spoonful.
The guest let out a huge gasp.
When he was finally able to speak, he choked out,
"I've heard many ministers preach hellfire,
but you are the first one I've met who passes out
a sample of it."
always kept a bottle of it on his dining room table.
Once, at dinner, he offered some to a guest, who took a
big spoonful.
The guest let out a huge gasp.
When he was finally able to speak, he choked out,
"I've heard many ministers preach hellfire,
but you are the first one I've met who passes out
a sample of it."
☼
~~ The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and
Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into
preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen
seconds long.
Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into
preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen
seconds long.
☼
~~ While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to
an Amish carriage.
The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor
because attached to the back of the carriage was a
hand-painted sign that read, "Energy efficient vehicle.
Runs on oats and grass.
CAUTION: Do not step on exhaust."
an Amish carriage.
The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor
because attached to the back of the carriage was a
hand-painted sign that read, "Energy efficient vehicle.
Runs on oats and grass.
CAUTION: Do not step on exhaust."
☼
~~ Answering Machine Message;
So! You've finally called.
And I suppose you think I'll just be here.
Well you're wrong. I gave up on that yesterday.
Seventeen weeks is long enough.
Waiting for you; staring at the phone; never going
anywhere... Well I've had enough!
I decided to get a real life, so I'm out testing lint removers
for Ralph Nader.
Now it's your turn.
Leave a message at the beep and I might just get back to
you -- if I survive my new job.
So! You've finally called.
And I suppose you think I'll just be here.
Well you're wrong. I gave up on that yesterday.
Seventeen weeks is long enough.
Waiting for you; staring at the phone; never going
anywhere... Well I've had enough!
I decided to get a real life, so I'm out testing lint removers
for Ralph Nader.
Now it's your turn.
Leave a message at the beep and I might just get back to
you -- if I survive my new job.
☼
~~ My favorite place to taser people:
the Renaissance Fair.
The Renaissance Fair cause it makes me feel like an
evil wizard from the future.
the Renaissance Fair.
The Renaissance Fair cause it makes me feel like an
evil wizard from the future.
☼
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea
A salad shooter....
☼
☼
Todays Thought: If you keep your mouth shut you will never put your foot
in it.
in it.
Rae's Trivia... Despite its reputation for being finicky, the average cat
consumes about 127,750 calories a year,
nearly 28 times its own weight in food,
and the same amount again in liquids.
In case you were wondering,
cats cannot survive on a vegetarian diet.
consumes about 127,750 calories a year,
nearly 28 times its own weight in food,
and the same amount again in liquids.
In case you were wondering,
cats cannot survive on a vegetarian diet.
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